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Indian Technology !! After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago. So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed,American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read:- 'US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians' One week later,... The Indian press reported the following:- ' After digging as deep as 500m, Indian scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors had wireless technology and they were using mobile phones '. *************************************************************** Cops Behind A Rabbit The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: 'Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!' *************************************************************** Alimony 'Mr. johns, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce court judge said, 'and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week.' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.' *************************************************************** Build Me a Bridge A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The man said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.' The Lord said, 'Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.' The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, 'Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says 'nothing is wrong' and how I can make a woman truly happy.' The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?' ************************************************************** Heaven and Hell ... Heaven is when you have: * An American salary. * A british home. * Chinese food. * A Swiss economy. * An Italian body. * A Japanese technology. * An African tool. * An Indian wife. Hell is when you have: * An American wife. * A british body. * A chinese tool. * Swiss food. * An Italian technology. * A Japanese home. * An african economy. * An Indian salary.

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