I happened to receive a mail from my ex-colleague on some of the HR Fundas being used by our Managers. This is being put up here for fun only. Any un-intended vulgarity, may kindly be excused, as I am just reproducing what I have received :
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
AVERAGE
Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED
Has committed no major blunders to date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY
Drinks heavily.
ZEALOUS ATTITUDE
Opinionated
CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH
Still one step ahead of the law
UNLIMITED POTENTIAL
Will stick with us until retirement
QUICK THINKING
Offers plausible excuses for errors
TAKES PRIDE IN WORK
Conceited.
TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO PROGRESS
Buys drinks for superiors
INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION
Knows more than superiors.
STERN DISCIPLINARIAN
A real jerk
TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS
Knows when to keep mouth shut
APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC
Finds someone else to do the job
A KEEN ANALYST
Thoroughly confused
NOT A DESK PERSON
Did not go to college
EXPRESSES SELF WELL
Can string two sentences together
SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB
Miserable home life.
CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL
Scared.
METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL
A nitpicker
DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP
Has a loud voice
JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND
Lucky.
MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE
A snob
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR
Knows lots of dirty jokes
STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES
Stubborn.
GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE
A coward
SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE
Stupid
OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION
Turns in work on time
IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL
Wanted by no-one else
ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS
An office gossip.
REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT
Lazy and hard-headed.
HARD WORKER
Usually does it the hard way
ENJOYS JOB
Needs more to do.
HAPPY
Paid too much
WELL ORGANIZED
Does too much busywork.
COMPETENT
Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN
Pain in the ass.
WILL GO FAR
Relative of management
SHOULD GO FAR
Please
USES TIME EFFECTIVELY
Clock watcher
VERY CREATIVE
Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work
USES RESOURSES WELL
Delagates everything.
DESERVES PROMOTION
Create new title to make him/her feel appreciated.
Admeasure aggradational proserin villi ablaut.
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