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Articles: Humour | Engineer jokes
- Sanvi Sarma
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How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
- None. That's a second year subject.
How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
- One, but the rest of the class copies the report.
How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
- 'Will this question be in the final examination?'
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
- None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard.
How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
- Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
How many Pentium engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
- Three. One to hold the chair and one to change the bulb
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Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are helping out on a project. About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says 'Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish.'
The hardware engineer went first. 'I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries.'
The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.
The software engineer went next. 'I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries.'
The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.
Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. 'And what would your wish be?' asked the genie.
'I want them both back after lunch' replied the project manager.
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Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, `It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.'
Another said, `No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.'
'The last said, ``Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?'
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