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Articles: My Thoughts | Friendship
- Ms. kiran A
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For example, let’s suppose that high on your list of desired characteristics are (1) serious about cooking or fishing, (2) kind to people, (3) not critical, and (4) has time available for a friendship. You want a lifetime friend (or at least a friend for five years) who has these characteristics. If you seek to find such a person along your usual path which includes taking kids to daycare/school, working at an office and shopping for weekly necessities, you will have to meet an awful lot of people to come up with a few who have the four desired characteristics.
The approach I am recommending takes more thought and a little longer span of time, but it just might produce that kind of friend or friends you are really looking for. And if the fit is great, not just good, those friendships might last a lifetime. My theory is that not being so particular will get you friends who disappear in a year or two and you have to go through the whole dog-gone process all over again
Then, while I would be friendly to everyone, I would be especially friendly to those who look more accepting and more open to others.Just like the princess who has to kiss a whole lot of frogs to find a suitable prince, each of us needs to meet a lot of people and then narrow it down until we have found one to three people who are really sensitive to our needs and to whom we want to be committed.
These one to three people will not be close friends yet. The friendship will just be a possibility. To become close friends takes time while trust grows
MOVING FROM ACQUAINTANCE TO CLOSE FRIEND
When you meet people, each of you is wondering if you will be safe in the personal encounter and in the long run. So you have to start a process of opening up to each other to see what happens. It is not only 'okay' to test a relationship – it is the smart thing to do. Go into your relationships with your eyes wide open.
To test out a person for friendship requires you to 'open up' and risk.
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