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Articles: My Thoughts | Friendship
- Ms. kiran A
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Lots of people are afraid to risk opening up. They may be afraid they will sound dumb or silly. They may fear conflict with others. They are usually afraid of getting hurt. These problems usually stem from childhood experiences
Start with being pleasant and obeying acceptable social standards of friendly behavior. If the person does not return the social graces, move on and become friendly with someone else. This person is either not friendship material or not interested in being friendly with you for some reason or other. Don’t worry about it! You only need a couple of good friends. You will screen out many people to find each and every close friend.
***Then progress to talking about facts about yourself, your family, things you are doing and about the world in general. Facts are those things that are easily provable and should not be controversial or questionable. If a person argues with you about these simple facts, look elsewhere for a friend
Next, move on to talking about your ideas and thoughts. These are yours. A suitable friend will show interest in your thoughts and ideas. He or she might not agree with them, but there will be interest. Your closest friends do not need to agree with everything you think, but they must show tolerance and interest. If the person gets upset with your thoughts and ideas, toss him or her as a possible close friend. Remember: disagreeing is not getting upset with you.
If the person passes the tests so far, you are getting close to finding 'close friend material'. The next and 'almost final' test is sharing your feelings and values. These are the real you. (Your thoughts were also, but they probably came out of your values.) Be yourself and tell how you really feel about things. Relate your values – what you really stand for. (You don’t want to start sharing at this level unless you are very comfortable with rejection. You want to apply the previous tests of facts and thoughts first.) With someone who has passed the tests of social graces, facts, and thoughts, there is greater likelihood that he or she will value the real you as expressed in values and feelings.
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