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Articles: My Thoughts | Jealousy and Insecurity
- Ms. kiran A
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Why are we insecure?
Been raised in a chaotic, unpredictable, or volatile environment in which they were kept off balance, on guard, or on edge.Experienced a major tragedy or loss in their lives and are having a difficult time in accepting this loss and adjusting to the ``change.'' Experienced a major ``failure'' in lifethat led them to question their personal competency.A poorly developed self-concept with low self-esteem, lacking belief in their personal goodness, skills, or abilities.Never felt accepted by the ``others'' in their life, so much so that they became chronically shy, retiring, and withdrawn in their interactions.Had an unrealistic list of rules and expectations prescribed by significant others in their life, rules they are striving to meet even in their current life.A poor body image, making them believe that others see them in a negative light. This makes them self-conscious, tense, and anxious in dealing with others.Always felt overshadowed or overlooked due to the people in their lives who seemed to be more successful, smarter, prettier, more handsome, more athletic, higher achievers, getting much attention. This can foster doubt in an insecure person's ability to gain recognition for their successes, and can make them doubt their ability to achieve success
chronically insecure people believe that,I can never accomplish the task facing me! Everybody is looking at me, just waiting for me to make a fool of myself!I can never win. I am a loser. I am ugly and awful to look at! What is the sense of trying, I'll never get it right! No matter how hard I work to achieve, I never get any recognition! I don't fit in here or anywhere else for that matter! Why would anyone care to hear what I say, how I feel, or what I think?People are just nice to you in order to use you and get something they want from you!
negative effects of insecurity
When one feels jealous or insecure they often tend to exhibit abusive behaviour ,this is why People who are insecure can have difficulties in establishing healthy, long-lasting relationships.Be perceived incorrectly by others as being snobbish or uppity; therefore, they are avoided due to the others' misperceptions.Become victims of fears that impair their freedom of action or choice. Scare others away from them by their defensive attitude.Be over-controlled emotionally, having problems letting others in on their emotions. This can lead others to guess what is going on until the passivity of the insecure person leads to an over-reaction by the others, resulting in conflict or rejection. This leads the insecure persons to feel more unaccepted, unappreciated, and under-valued. they become so inward that they seek to escape into their fantasy life rather than deal with the reality of their lives. Most of the times inscure people cover their insecurity with Ego.
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