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Articles: My Thoughts | In the name of Love
- Ms. kiran A
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Individuals who suffer from break-ups and lost love should give themselves time and permission to mourn. When they feel sad they should cry. Tears have been known to release pent up emotions and to cleanse the soul. That applies to men as well. Relationship therapists also agree that crying and expressing your pain is a healthy way to ease the hurt. And it certainly is a better option than resorting to violence and other unhealthy releases. But jilted lovers hit back by saying that if tears had been the solution to all problems there wouldn’t have been a dry eye in this world.
If you feel angry at your ex then be sure to express it. Talking to friends also helps. But whatever the case maybe, keeping it all inside in the hope that it will go away or that you will be able to find someone new, is not advisable.
Those trying to recover from a calamitous affair or marriage also should consider keeping a diary or journal in which they can write freely about their emotional wounds. Failure to express your sadness, hurt or anger could result in you becoming overwhelmed with emotions which could lead to you showing bizarre behaviour or committing acts you will regret later.
Guilt and Grief
Most individuals seem to turn their anger inward during this phase. You may even blame yourself for the ruined relationship. Spend some time in this stage, but do not linger in it for too long. See it for what it is and move on to the next stage. People who indulge themselves and spend countless days reliving the rejection can drive themselves insane.
In order to progress through this stage, you must remember that nothing you could have done by yourself could have contributed to the demise of the relationship. Unless you cheated on you partner, it 'takes two to tango'. So if you decide to turn on yourself for some minor infraction like flirting too much, think twice about putting too much credence into these ideas. It's more likely incompatibility issues that caused the problem and you need to start getting on with your life.
If you start crying for no apparent reason or go through severe mood swings, then you're probably entering the grief stage of the recovery process. No matter how shocked you were about the breakup or how badly you were mistreated, you will have pains of loneliness for some months to come. There is a saying that it takes three months to recover from every six months you were together, but the time varies for every individual.
Just remember that your attitude can have a tremendous impact on how long it takes for you to get back .While a certain amount of grief is expected, it is ultimately your responsibility to decide how long it will last
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