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General Forum: Society | | Arranged Marriage | |
| Posted by: Malakpet Rowdy At: 25, May 2005 1:21:06 PM IST
Well said....
Posted by: Mr. Indian proud At: 28, May 2005 6:41:38 AM IST
May be..
Posted by: Malakpet Rowdy At: 26, May 2005 2:08:06 PM IST
Maybe it's the cultural difference. I know dad will be there for me but he definitely won't be arranging my marriage.
Posted by: Sidda Lee C At: 26, May 2005 1:33:32 PM IST
Parents dont arrange it, they just facilitate it .. and you are the final decision maker .. in fact it wont be difficult for you to realize that they are doing the tougher parts of the job for you!
Posted by: Malakpet Rowdy At: 26, May 2005 12:34:34 PM IST
I can understand what you've just explained but it's so hard for me to imagine my parents arranging my marriage.
Posted by: Sidda Lee C At: 26, May 2005 12:09:10 PM IST
In India, marriage is not a few weeks old make and break affair between 2 individuals but its more of a union of two families.
The Only negative point in the Arranged marriages is that the Boy doesnt know the gal early or vice versa ( now a days people foudn a solution to this problem by keeping a long gap between engagament and marriage)
And the positives:
- Since the elders are "ALSO" involved, the decisions are driven by maturity, not emotions, even though the primary decision maker is the couple engaged.
- It is definitely the understanding between them, that makes a couple stay together for a life-time and the understanding depends on the attitude, which in turn depends on the brought-up and the family background. Arranged marriages facilitate the analysis of all of the above. (Marriages may still fail, but that would be because of the other resasons, like the failure rate in love marriages is much more than the failure rate in the arranged marriages in India
- Last but not the least, since, the whole family is involved, momentary decisions and spontaneous anger leading to a possible divorce would be avoided and tactfully handled by mature people!
PERHAPS THIS IS WHY PEOPLE STILL PREFER ARRANGED MARRIAGES IN INDIA.
Posted by: Malakpet Rowdy At: 25, May 2005 1:21:06 PM IST
You're talking about dowry, right? You make it sound like it's the only reason...but is it?
Posted by: Sidda Lee C At: 25, May 2005 12:46:46 PM IST
"If some one asks you why well educated indians still agree for arranged marriages"
lot of money is involved ,lol ,i wouldnt want to lose a lot of money ,
Posted by: Mr. Doctorate Thief At: 24, May 2005 8:36:13 PM IST
Another re-open!
These are the original questions -
If some one asks you why well educated indians still agree for arranged marriages?
Do you support it or not?
If you support what answer would you give them?
Posted by: Sidda Lee C At: 18, May 2005 1:03:51 PM IST
This is quite interesting topic for me... I am neither ashamed nor regret as mine is a love marriage. Same caste but different states (not telugu)... and I am a happy guy.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low-self esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.
The bottom line is the way the marriage is made doesn't matter.
The only advantage of arranged marriage is we become answerable to 'many' people and those compell us to continue the relationship where as in the love marriage, as we are the sole decission makers ... often people around us want to prove us wrong... and never support to continue us the relationship... but to say not in all cases... mine is also exceptional.
Posted by: Ravi Kanth Yalamanchili At: 29, Jan 2004 12:02:54 PM IST
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