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General Forum: Love | | Marriage - Conditional or Unconditional love -- Part 1 | |
| Pura kitna parts hein?
Posted by: Mr. M Kumar N At: 19, Oct 2004 6:37:33 PM IST
Thanks Kay!!
I am not trying to justify my actions while answering others. I know, what I did is in the best interest of mine :-). All I wanted to achieve by posting my story here is to convey some message to others who might be suffering silently.
For all those men and women out there, I want to tell them that life is too short to take lot of pain. If the pain becomes intolerable, one need to plunge in and take some kind of action rather than leaving it to time and fate. I was shut in dark through out my married life and that was the life I had never dreamt about, on social or personal level.
The idea of me to write the part-2 is to show how life could be for a divorce women(especially for a south indian where divorce is still considered as a taboo). I want to share my experiences about how I was able to come out of my past and started my new life with fresh attitude and new strength.
Thanks very much for you all to share my views and experiences!!
Posted by: Ms. tapana raaga At: 19, Oct 2004 6:29:45 PM IST
clue less i think i can guess here.
The child will not be ditched, but she will not ditch another girl.
but any how heartfully appreciate your courage.
Posted by: Mr. Nagesh Babu Adari At: 19, Oct 2004 5:59:14 AM IST
Its good that the kids are not in picture atleast!
but here's something to ponder...
/about later part of the question, I should have taken the same decision even with kids as kids will be affected badly with the unhealthy domestic life and I wouldnot have wanted them to have sour childhood./
assuming you had kids....
so then at a later stage you realize one of the kids has inherited the same illness, how will you deal with that? would you take care of the child or desert him/her? you dont have to answer this, its just something to think about!
Again, I am not advocating one-way-sacrifice in a marriage...separation could be the last resort if nothing works!
Good luck and best wishes if this is a true story!
Posted by: చంటోడు At: 19, Oct 2004 4:02:47 AM IST
This is interesting question :
>>what if a person obtains the condition after the marriage? would the other partner still desert him/her? isnt marriage all about sharing/loving and living together in such circumstances?
Depends on the condition and situation. If it is related to some physical condition, I agree with you. As a partners, who vowed to lead life with each other under any circumstances, good and bad, the other partner has got to take care of the situation and support him. If they desert the other person, then it is selfishness.
Incase of psychological problem, if the partner agrees to take psychological help to cure his/her problem, then the situation of divorce could be avoided too(to some extent). But, in most case, the patient wouldnot be aware of his own problem, and wouldnot be willing to take the help. The situation gets worsen and after a while, the relation ship will be based on sympathy and the pillars of love, which is important in marriage will be lost. One can easily get frustrated with giving all the time and no reciprocation of love from the other side.
I say marriage is sharing, and not just giving.
Posted by: Ms. tapana raaga At: 19, Oct 2004 3:51:53 AM IST
Thanks for all your opinions expressed here.
Regarding a question here:
Ms raaga - do you have kids? If not, would you have taken the same decision if you had kids?
>> I don't have kids. As I noticed his behavioural pattern, I decided to postpone the idea of having kids and waited for him to get job. I have no clue about whats going on in my life until few years after marriage. All I know is that something is wrong, but, its very difficult to predict about someone suffering from schyzophernia.
I never heard about such a kind of disease in my life before.
about later part of the question, I should have taken the same decision even with kids as kids will be affected badly with the unhealthy domestic life and I wouldnot have wanted them to have sour childhood.
/As you said, there is nothing that we can achieve in life with little effort and strength./
did you mean "there is nothing we cannot achieve"?
Yes..Sorry!! thats a typo.
I mean, "there is nothing that we cannot achieve in life with little effort and strength."
Thanks for correcting it.
Posted by: Ms. tapana raaga At: 19, Oct 2004 3:39:20 AM IST
so mental disorders cannot be caught during/before the marriage?
looks like with the physical-looks,
one has to go through the medical-looks too!
we are debating whether we are debating or not! or we are not debating if we are debating or not? totally clueless this time for sure! :P
Posted by: చంటోడు At: 19, Oct 2004 2:59:41 AM IST
why not obtain? so is every condition by birth or something? again by condition I mean any illness, disease, abnormality etc !
again why are WE debating, lets hear tapana's side too!
Posted by: చంటోడు At: 19, Oct 2004 2:40:40 AM IST
poortigaa raaste ne baaguntundi. divorce taravata malli pelli cheskuni 2 nd husband to happygaa unnavaallu kooda unnaru. vaallanta marichipoyi kotta jeevitam gaduputunnaru. vidipoyina vaallu kooda vaalla ki nachina vallato bratukutunnaru even vallaki pillalu unnaakooda.
enni chuudadamledu? ee samaajamlo evaru evarini tappulu pattaru. enduku ante anni kastaalu kutumba paramgaa bartha or bharya
sarigaa lekapote divorce teeskovadam better
alaa ani chinnadaaniki vidipovadam ani kaadu.chaalaa kaaranala valla nirnayaalu teeskunntaaru.
tapana raaaga gaaru part-1 , 2, 3, 4.... ilaa continue cheste chadavadaaniki memu ready.
Posted by: Jasmine Meera At: 19, Oct 2004 2:13:36 AM IST
coming to the illness/conditions is the next question...
what if a person obtains the condition after the marriage? would the other partner still desert him/her? isnt marriage all about sharing/loving and living together in such circumstances?
Posted by: చంటోడు At: 19, Oct 2004 2:13:07 AM IST
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