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General Forum: Love | | How to solve the problem if someone fail in love after marriage? | |
| Dear Anil,
Good question.. yes we are trying to discuss about a couple who fell in love, got married and then failed in love after the marriage.
I am sure many of the situations they will again sort out themselves. but what is the role of others here. how should they suggest to them to be together. How much help is needed in this regard?
Further, main thing is, if they have kids how should they react even if they are in unexplainaied cirucumstances.
Krishna
Posted by: Mr. V.S. KRISHNA KODUKULA At: 17, Jul 2002 9:50:51 AM IST
Hello Friends,
I need a small clarification here. Are you trying to discuss about a couple who fell in love, got married and then failed in love after the marriage..... Or about a couple who got married(arrange marriage) and then failed to understand and love each other after their marriage....
anil
Posted by: Mr. Anil Kumar Reddy Anugula At: 17, Jul 2002 4:13:33 AM IST
Dear Mr Suresh,
How are you ?? Hope you are not in good moods when you wrote your previous message mentioning MISS THE GIRL.
I Hope that you are fine now. BTW, we are not at all arguing over anything, but we were discussing about something.
Hope from now you will be more nicer as you usually are.
regds
Kalyan
Posted by: Mr. Kalyan Chakravarthy At: 16, Jul 2002 6:19:08 PM IST
hi mr. suresh.
u might not read the topic, thats why u r telling to Miss The Girl like that.. read it carefully so that u can understand .. u can't like to discuss becz u can't.
ok..bye..
krishna
Posted by: Mr. V.S. KRISHNA KODUKULA At: 15, Jul 2002 6:03:01 PM IST
hello Miss The Girl,
The main topic here is finding someone who loves you...not someone whom u luv...only if this happens all these problem araises...
i cant argue more on this topic...
enjoy..
byee
suresh
Posted by: Mr. Suresh At: 15, Jul 2002 5:16:00 PM IST
love never fail.if it fails it"s not love
Posted by: Mr. prasant kumar jammula At: 15, Jul 2002 10:12:14 AM IST
It is not as easy as you think, Miss the girl.
As you go thru in life you will get to know. Not everything is just black and white. Life is full of gray shades and we need to learnt to acknowledge that.
Once married one has to respect the partner's feelings and acknowledge them. You just can't say that because you don't like your partner for one reason, you want to give divorce and look for someone else. Every person has his/her flaws. Just because of few faults you cannot just walk out. We don't live the western way where you love today, marry tommorrow and get divorce day after tommorrow. That won't give you the security for life.
Marriage is a highly respected institution, just because of few differences the two involved cannot get divorce. Both the people involved should try as much to keep the marriage going and especially after having kids, it becomes even more important for the couple to keep the marriage a successful one because it makes a huge impact on the children.
Not always everyone gets what they wish for, even if they get it, they still have to make some compromises. To gain something one has to lose something.
So, I say life is full of compromises but there are some which we can make out of choice and some where you don't have a say.
Posted by: Miss Madhavi Madhavi At: 14, Jul 2002 11:54:45 PM IST
the easiest solution is change for someone whom you can fall in love with :-)
generally marriages dont fail...so nothing to worry. but one thing is for sure...why should someone really compromise???? there is a limit for everything... evo sati savitri kathalu cheppi ala undali ela undali ante...atleast I dont believe in all those. if a person cant take the other person, try for sometime but not life long....life is much more than marriage and husband/wife. there is no point thinking always from the others point of you...burning youself....enduku inni kastalu??? when you dont like..you just dont like....there are still many options out :-).
whats the moral of story??? its just not possible to self sacrifice and live for the sake of others all the time. so when things go out of hand....there is no point living the rest of life feelign sad or trying to change others....there are many options left.and because this doesn't happen 99.9% of times....noting to worry :-)
Enjoy!
Posted by: Miss The Girl At: 14, Jul 2002 11:14:57 PM IST
If that happens , try to change urself according to his mentality or try to change him/her vth ur luv....i think this is wat u call as adjustment..if u r not being loved ,then it indicates that u r not showing enough luv to him/her....or the other person may not be expressing his/her love.. so try ur level best to get luv fron the other person...nothing will happen if u sit idle...try to avoid being dull all through the life..man can do wonders if he is patient..life is short...so enjoy...
take care
byeee
suresh
Posted by: Mr. Suresh At: 14, Jul 2002 6:36:14 PM IST
This kind of feeling arises only because of lack of understanding and interaction between the couple. If proper respect and mutual love is there, then also they need to communicate properly and reserve some time in a day only for themselves so that they can spend quality time together sharing their feelings. It is not important how much you provide or serve the other person, the only thing that matters is how much care and concern you show. The pampering is required. We need not express our love before everyone and all the times but we should express it when we are alone and whenever we are alone.
When will the question of love on other persons arise? When any of the couple are sentimental, emotional and the other person overlooks their feelings and remain casual. So the person naturally feels emptiness. There are some people who wait for such an opportunity and cleverly traps the other person. In most of the cases, this is only the reason.
Ofcourse we shouldn't suppress our feelings or desires, we can't cheat our own heart, but there is a sacred factor in marriage, a holy relationship. Marriages are made in heaven. This is very much true. If there are any differences, we should try to overcome them, settle it, but shouldn't think or search for another way.
Once you are married or agreed to marry a person, then their dreams and desires will be directed towards us and they make us a part of their lives. We shouldn't break the confidence of them on us. There will be no great love than that of a life partner.( I very much agree, most people do not live as they are expected, as they promise at marriage time).
The important possible reasons for the quarrel : If we or our partner love someone and unfortunately couldn't marry. In this situation, we should live alone if we wish so. If we agree to marry another person, then we should share it(do not keep it as a secret) and you should be devoted to your partner only. Both should try to adjust with the sentence of God for they can't escape HIS decision.
The second reason may be, if the partner is so rude and harassing type and if no one can convince him/her, then you should try for divorce and then can think of second marriage(or love whatsoever). If we have children, then we must be careful and responsible. We should teach them morals and our behaviour and attitude will have a strong impact on their mental development.
If separation is inevitable, then only we can think in that way. Even then also, we first need to know whether we are acceptable to the other person with our children or not. We should consider it very carefully.
Anyway, Feelings when our mental state is not normal are not final or proper. So we shouldn't take any decision based on those feelings. We should respect the institution of marriage.
Mutual love and understanding, commitment and respect leads to a very happy and conjugal marital life. Whether it is love or arranged, we should try to work for this understanding. My feeling is Youth must be given freedom to chose their life partners.
Posted by: Ms. Prasanthi Uppalapati At: 14, Jul 2002 4:52:22 PM IST
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