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General Forum: Current 'Affairs' | | spandinchanDi....spandana avasaramu.... | |
| Iam proud to state that i stood by my two daughters who refused to marry anyone who demands dowry and ultimately got married to the persons of their choise who honoured their aspirations and ambitions!
Posted by: Mr. jogarao pilla At: 17, Apr 2004 2:56:47 PM IST
hi guys/gals...
Y exactly does the parents of the girl try to give the groom the so called dowry again comment on the dowry system and explicitly describe it as a bad custom... even the girl goes in the similar lines... the million dollar question here is how can they offer dowry when they despise it... isn't it ironical... atleast the gal shud have guts to point her finger at her parents.
Posted by: Mr. Susruth doddapaneni At: 17, Apr 2004 12:11:48 PM IST
Mr. BB garu,
With the all arguments your presenting , you giving room to many questions. And if I raise them, you saying I am tryiing to find mistakes in your arguments and leaving the good part of it. My question is what is the good part or where is the good part in your arguments?
I want to understand the monetary marriage scenario you presented. By that question I want to know what happens, if he can not pay in your scenario? you burnt them alive or you leave them? and I am questioning the moral credibility of your scenario. care to explain? why should anyone pay you a dowry? can you show me a positive angle about it?
And I dont think dowry and woman equality are differesnt issues. They are all inter-connected. In dowry or extinct kanyashulkam, you treating woman merely as a object of trade. Treating them as such, I see a horrible form of suppression. More in next post :)
Posted by: Saleem At: 16, Apr 2004 8:04:21 PM IST
hahahaha Kiran!
Greedy people are always greedy. We just can't change them. But the demand is reducing... I can see it. So, the change has already started. It takes little more time to be visible clearly.
Posted by: Bahud♥♥rapu Baatasaari At: 16, Apr 2004 5:12:47 PM IST
@Saleem.
I understand that you want to argue with me, Saleem. You are not ready to understand what I am saying. You want to show the mistakes/wrongs in my statements, but not the good part of it. So, there is no point in trying to explain to you.
Finally, I didn't say that if they don't pay the agreed amount, I have the right to burn his daughter alive. What I said is, if the girl is burnt alive even after paying the agreed amount, that has to be objected, as that is the serious issue. There is lot of difference between these two statements. Right? If you can't understand the difference, I'm sorry, I cannot make you to understand, I'm very bad at english and written communication. And I don't know what language you are comfortable with, other than english. Hence, I can't even give a try.
Why should they pay? Let them not pay, if they don't want me as their son-in-law. I don't care.
And I never said VeVa's arguments are not justifiable regarding dowry. He is right, but he shouldn't say tiragabaDanDi to the people who ask for dowry. It would be appropriate to say "reject them".
Posted by: Bahud♥♥rapu Baatasaari At: 16, Apr 2004 5:09:16 PM IST
Right Kiran, I agree with what ever you said.
andukE varakaTnam durAchAramaindi. nEnu kAdanalEdu. My PM gave dowry to her hubby, though he works in Govt Dept and earns much less than her. Dowry is demanded even for the highly educated girl. Latest trend is, if the girl is not highly educated, ask more dowry, else ask little less(because she is a potential employee). Even working girl need to give dowry in most of the cases. This dowry problem is not in ALL states, I guess. As I said, affordability plays a good role here. Hence, the impact of the problem dilutes. What I am trying to point out is, we can try bringing awareness in the society on the issues/problems that are of more & great impact.
Posted by: Bahud♥♥rapu Baatasaari At: 16, Apr 2004 4:53:01 PM IST
If he cant pay the agreed amount, You have a right to burn her? First of all why should any gal pay you a dowry?
People are trying to eradicate it out of from our marriage culture. With the scenario you presented, veva garu's arguments, anger and yellings about dowry, are properly justified now.
Posted by: Saleem At: 16, Apr 2004 4:51:14 PM IST
You know where are they weak. And they too!
If they are not weak, then why does they need reservations? Let them fight, if they want to fight against men, if they still feel that they are not weak. You certainly cannot ask for a reservation with Tyson to punch with less impact just because you are weak. You yourself say that women are not weak and you ask for reservations. Is it fair?
They were suppressed. They want to be better now. What shall we do? Respect her views and decisions, not command her. But what about some(not in less number now a days) women who always go against husband's decisions? Have you seen such women? I have. How about that? Look Saleem, there are pro's and con's for every thing. There are always two sides for every thing. Will you deny to listen to the better suggestion that your wife gives? Let them come up with better ideas and we certainly respect their suggestion. I don't deny that even highly educated men treat their wives as slaves. Why? Find out the cause for this and enlighten those women and bring awareness in those men. But dowry is not at all playing any role in this suppression. Is it? The problem of Equal rights is different from dowry. Just by eradicating the dowry system will not bring happy society. I still strongly feel that dowry issue is not the biggest problem of this society, either for men or women.
Posted by: Bahud♥♥rapu Baatasaari At: 16, Apr 2004 4:39:31 PM IST
Buddy,
Amount transacted as dowry is substantially increasing. I admit it. As long as the giver can afford, he gives. We need to bother about those guys whose daughters were burnt alive for dowry. I'm saying that these kind of cases are coming down. Lets take a scenario. I am expecting 1,000,000 as dowry. If a father cannot afford of giving, say Rs 1,000,000 as dowry, he will have to stop approaching me for his daughter. There is no point in shouting screaming that dowry system should go off or varakaTna durAchAram naSinchAli . If he can afford to give that much amount, he'll gladly approach me and I'll gladly marry his daughter. Else, if he can afford only 250,000, then he should go to my team mate. Right? If I burn his daughter alive by demanding more dowry than the initially agreed and paid amount of 1,000,000 then it is wrong and then he can shout scream and do what ever he can. Even you can join him. I too support. I'm saying that these kind of cases are reducing. Also, number of people demanding for dowry are reducting. Here, "number" is not exactly the count, but the percent. "number" may be high, because of the increasing population. Oh, yes. Why can't we all join to bring awareness of less population? India's biggest and the primary problem is this.
BOLD WORDS CANNOT MAKE YOUR PERCEPTION AS REALITY, NOR MINE. IGNORANCE... THATS THE WRONG WORD TO USE, ATLEAST WITH ME, Mr VeVa! YOU'VE SEEN LESS WORLD THAN ME. DON'T UNDER ESTIMATE ANY ONE. hInangA chUDaku, ghOrangA debbatinTAv
Posted by: Bahud♥♥rapu Baatasaari At: 16, Apr 2004 4:07:46 PM IST
/*Its all because male egotism. You and me cannot wipe off that feeling in men overnight, Saleem! Its in our genes. Just simply accept the truth that women belong to weaker sector. And they will remain as weaker sector for some more time. We just can't change it by screaming /*
Thanks you accepted abt male egotism and change is needed. And I dont see anyone saying we can wipeoff that feeling overnight, which couldnt be wiped off for thousands of years. But with the effect and lenght of surpression they had, I would say they require even a bit more paced up actions. Woman are weaker on what basis? physical strength? I guess we are not living in a forest. I dont think physical strength palying 'vital' role and I dont see anything in current society what man can do and woman cant do.
"And I always feel a wife & husband is one. If they work like one, it will be a happy family. If any one of them feel that they are two and one needs "equal" rights, the clash starts.
"
And why do you think the struggle for equal rights started at all in first place? its cuz of surpression. If 'male' had felt the one n equal, we wouldnt have these movements now a days. If he respected her 'choice' , rather than commanding her what to do, what not to do, we wouldnt have these clashes. You surpress them for thousands of years and when they are trying to find a better place , you totally ridicule them? Not fair!
Posted by: Saleem At: 16, Apr 2004 3:20:22 PM IST
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