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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | *********** office lo pani pata leni wallu************** | |
| *** Newtons 3 laws of immigration
1st Law
A Desi will continue to stay in the United States of America due to the inertia of the Green Card until and unless an external force called Deportation is applied.
2nd Law
The force of deportation is defined by F = ma;
Where m = Amount Of Money Desi earned/saved in USA.
a = dm/dt, the rate at which Desi saved money.
(This is contrary to the common belief that Desi will return back after making lot of money)
3rd Law
For each and every Desi that goes back to Desh for a temporary visit, a Desi of the opposite sex will come to USA on a permanent visit.
Posted by: Murali za az At: 21, Feb 2005 9:10:55 PM IST
Toughest part in the whole week is filling up the time sheet
Poora week net pe browse karthe hai par time sheet mein kya bharna
Posted by: Murali za az At: 19, Feb 2005 2:34:54 AM IST
This is a love letter from a boy to a girl....
However, the girl's father does not like him and want
them stop their relationship......and so.. the boy wrote this
letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely
read this letter..........
"The great love that I have for you
is gone, and I find my dislike for you
grows every day. When I see you,
I do not even like your face;
the one thing that I want to do is to
look at other girls. I never wanted to
marry you. Our last conversation
was very boring and has not
made me look forward to seeing you again.
You think only of yourself.
If we were married, I know that I would find
life very difficult, and I would have no
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
to give, but it is not something that
I want to give to you. No one is more
foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
able to care for me and help me.
I sincerely want you to understand that
I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
if you think this is the end. Do not try
to answer this. Your letters are full of
things that do not interest me. You have no
true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
I do not care for you. Please do not think that
I am still your boyfriend."
So bad!!
****However,
****Before handing over the letter to the girl,
****The boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES"...
****Between the lines ? ? Try yourself...
****Read the Alternate Lines.. [ 1,3,5 etc... ]
Posted by: Murali za az At: 18, Feb 2005 10:08:54 PM IST
*** Kaun Banega Crorepati auditions
Nana Patekar : Jaldi se jawab bol. Sahi jawab tere ko lakhpati bana dalega. Galat jawab tere ko hijda bana dega.
Shatrughan Sinha : Khamosh ! Bihari babu ke saamne zaban chalata hai. Tera cheque phaad ke phek doonga.
Dharmendra : Galat jawab ! Kutte Kameene, main tera khoon pee jaoonga.
Amrish Puri : Sahi jawab ! Mogambo khush hua!
Amjad Khan : Kitne options the ? Chaar! Soover ke bachchon! Chaar chaar options! Bahut na-insaafi hai! Dhish-keoin Dhish-keoin! 50-50 kar ke do galat jawab main uda diye. Ab bol, tera kaya hoga kaaliya?
Sanjay Dutt : Aye item log, kaye ko udhar khada hai? Idhar aake mere pass baith jaa. Kya be chikne - tere ko aata hai to bol dal varna main tere ko idhar-eech phod dalega.
Raj Kumar : Jaani, huuum, hhhuuuum hote to apne dost ko phone kar ke sawaal pooch lete.
Jagdeep : Bole to Soorma Bhopali - meri jeb ho gayi khaali. Mere pass to koi cheque nahin hain. Arre mujhko jaane do.
Mithun Chakraborty : Eeyaeech ! Tu audience poll karega? Aye, yahan ke public ke paas time nahin hai. Kya nahin hai? Time nahin hai.
Kesto Mukherji : Hee-heek. Hee-yaik. Apne ko sab kuch do-do dikh rahela hai. Hee-heek. Yeh aath options kidhar se aa gaye ? Hee-yok. Apne ko bahut chad gayeli hai.
Jeetendra : Lekin kyoon? ( groan ) Aap aisa kyoon kar rahe hai? (whine) Aap kabhi bhi game chor kar jaa sakte hai.
Ashok Kumar : To abhi aapne yeh dekha ( wheeze ), ki yahan se Delhi ke Ramesh Kumar ( gasp ), yahan se Rs. 20,000 leke chale gaye. ( groan ). Kal aur dus logon ko leke phir milenge Hum Log ( croak ).
Posted by: Murali za az At: 18, Feb 2005 7:30:14 PM IST
Cool Punjab di Poems...
Main Niklaa Aeroplane Le Ke....
Raste Mein New York Pe...
Ik Mod Aaya ......
Main Trade Tower Tod Aaya...
Rab Jaane Kab Guzraa....
New York..........
Kab Pentagon AAya..
Main Uthey Aeroplane Fod aaya.....
Posted by: Murali za az At: 18, Feb 2005 1:28:14 AM IST
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
***Bihar Driving License
Posted by: za az At: 16, Feb 2005 10:49:57 PM IST
---
@ROFL :-)
Posted by: Jasmine Meera At: 17, Feb 2005 8:21:38 PM IST
few more hindi definitions
CRICKET TEST MATCH : Pakad dandu, maar mandu, de danaadan pratiyogita
TIE : Kanth Langoti
MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti
TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti
ALL ROUTE PASS : Yatr Tatr Sarvatr Gaman Aagya Patr
RAILWAY SIGNAL : Loh Path Gamini Suchak Yantra
RAILWAY SIGNAL : Agni Rath Aava Gaman Soochak Pattika
RAILWAY SIGNAL : Louh path gaamini aawagaman suchak yantra
RAILWAY STATION : Bhabhka Adda
BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak
MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev
Posted by: Murali za az At: 17, Feb 2005 8:02:59 PM IST
***Bihar Driving License
Posted by: Murali za az At: 16, Feb 2005 9:49:57 PM IST
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
------------------------------------------ -----------------------
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
6.Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed
(Check karet box)
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yours: ___
9. Mather name: _______________________
10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)
13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please
provide your own thumb impression.)
PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS
Use thumb on y our lepht hand only. If you dont have le pht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.
NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.
WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS
Posted by: Murali za az At: 16, Feb 2005 9:47:48 PM IST
:-)
Posted by: Murali za az At: 16, Feb 2005 8:56:02 PM IST
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