Discussion on Love in General Forum at TeluguPeople.com

Which are Best ? Love Marriages or Arranged Marriages

well i think both have their own charm and therefor 4 me there is no comp between them

Posted by: Miss mitali agrawal mitali At: 6, Oct 2002 4:18:46 PM IST

Intloo ..Valla Aamodamto Lov Marriage Chesukunte Antakanna happiest moment Inkemuntundi. Kani .. Okkalla Kosam Andarini Vadukovadam Antee .. :-{ ( Intloo Paristhitulabatti .. vallani Edirinchi Kontamandi Pelli Chesukuntataru.Adi Veree Story ) Lov Kosam .. Ento Apuroopamaina Vyaktulana Amma, Nannalni Edirinchi Chesukovadam ... 100% Tappe.(Nenee vishayam Aa Kutundabpu relation Aadharamga Cheppadam Jarigindi.) Veree case loo Antee ..!! Inka Arraged marriages .. Mundu Avatali Valla Bhavodwegalu Mana Vatitoo Jodi Kudurutaya Annadi Aalochinchi Pelli Chesukovali.Andamaina Janta Antee Chudadaaniki Kadu .. Jivinchadaaniki.(Ikkada Andam Bayati Vallu Chudadaaniki Paniki Vasthee ... Manassu Manam Jeevinchaddaniki Aadharamainadi.)Kanuka Manam Veree Vallakosam Batakaloo Manakosam Jivinchaloo .. Annadaani Meeda Ee Bhuvi Paina Santi Aadharapadi Vundi.

Posted by: ChandramSetti ChandraSekhar At: 6, Oct 2002 2:14:57 PM IST

Hi Everybody, Hmm, quite an interesting topic though not a novel topic, this topic was, is and would be always there, I guess. I have read ur opinions on this topic and I would like to make few comments on this. Well, talking about the number of divorce cases, I think its equally probable with both the marriages, say love or arranged. Before going to the point, which one is better, lets see whats the reason for a divorce. Well, as far as I understand, divorce is a result of immaturity in either of them ( husband and wife) or both of them. What do I mean by immaturity? Whatever relationship u take, always demands a compromise from everyone who make the relationship, and I feel there's nothing wrong in compromising, afterall compromise should come out of love, not out of obligation, for example I love my parents very much, so if they insist me on doing something, well I can compromise or forgo just becoz I love them, BUT, there are certain things which might be very crucial and may be then u need to think twice before yeilding. Lets take for instance marriage, I love a person and my parents are against it, yeah certainly I would be in a fix. On one hand, I cant hurt my parents and on the other hand my love. Now lets analyze this point in more detailed. Supposing, I go against my wish and get married to whoever my parents choose for me, what if my parents selected the wrong guy for me? Then dont u think my life is at stake and also my parents would be depressed. So, r my parents going to give me back my life, or would this society for whom my parents feared the most and forced me into an arranged marriage, give me my life, who should I hold responsible for the damage? And on the other hand, I go against my parents wishes and get into a love marriage, well if I am lucky enough, my hubby would maintain the same standards he did when we were not married, otherwise yeah if something goes wrong, u would loose everyone. So,what am I trying to conclude, may be conclude is too big a word, yeah so what I am trying to establish is divorce is equally probable. But, well, one thing is for sure, every parent want to see their child happy and every girl/guy wants to lead a happy and comfortable life and I guess no one in this world want to ruin their life. Yeah, but for sure there is whats called a matured love. When one falls in love, in most of the cases he/ she has enough time before getting married, so I think he/she gets enough time to understand the other person better. And, meanwhile I suggest that u shouldnt get into a physical relationship giving importance to our ethice, becoz if u r committed physically to someone, u might be obligated whether or not u may love him/her any longer. So, then when u r in love when u feel that yeah the person is not what u thought he/she was before, then yeah u still have a chance to reconsider ur decision. BUT, I know many people would take advantage of this aspect and quit from the relationship, just becoz they meet another person or whatever. See, lemme comment that there is nothing like "BEST" when it comes to people or a whatever. So, if u think that there is a really serious problem with the person u love, then try to think over it again, otherwise, yeah no man is perfect, so if the problem is not very serious get along with them. Now, coming to parents view of marriages, where they say that u have the advantage of having the same customs and traditions when u get married to the person of the same caste, well it might be true long time ago when people did their "Vruthi Vidyas" and sticked to the rules and regulations the caste imposes on you. But, in todays life, caste comes into picture only during marriages, but no one actually follows his caste strictly, So, does caste still has its significance. And, I know many couples nowadays stay abroad where they alone stay away from their families and their friends are like another family. So, where does caste come into picture? So, basically you got to stay with ur spouse for the most part of your life than with anyone else. So, I feel when compared to family ties, society ties or whatever, which were significant in the past are no longer significant in todays life, but whats more important is the compatibilty between the two persons who live together, so it differs from person to person, and u have to see where u fit better and decide on it. I might be wrong, may be but this is what I feel , so kindly apologise if I had hurt any of you, Kanthi

Posted by: Kanthi At: 5, Oct 2002 11:38:23 PM IST

hi to everybody. the columns are very very big, and ofcourse interesting too, but onething, This topic never ends. Mams..For my Kind Info.It depends upton Situation HOw u tackle.. but now a days its better to Understand between Couple One another Before Marriage.If its Safest and Security Purpose its Arraged its best, But as per. personal satisfication and better understanding about partner love marriage is best

Posted by: Mr. jyothi raghavendra prasad Raghoo At: 16, Sep 2002 7:34:12 PM IST

ardham chesukune paddati andariki okela undadu.. oke vakyanni different people different gaa artham chesukone avakasham untundi.. evari paddati vaariki untundi.. so nenoka artham lo cheppanu, kondaru vere artham lo tesukunnaru.. nenu personal feelings to pato reality ni kooda impose chesenduku praytnichaanu. true love ledu nenu eppudu analedu. neti prapncham ekkuva shatam jarugutunna vaatini gurinchi naa views cheppanu. thats all from me on this topic.... if i offended somebody then, my heartful apologies.

Posted by: Sreedhar G At: 9, Sep 2002 5:34:21 AM IST

inta discussion jarigina taruvaata koodaa, andaru cheppe comments choostunte, inka discussion anavasaramu anipistundi.So I quit with this comment. evarainaa, tama idea ni oppose chese vaallu ye questions ni ayithe vesaaro vaatiki maatrame samaadhaanam cheppaali.(Inkemi cheppa koodadani kaadu). appudu oka vela reasonable gaa unte artham chesukovacchu. ante kaani prati question ki oke moosalo answer istunnaaru. Nijamaina prema, premikulu undaaraa? ee prapamchamlo maturity unde vaare leranukuntunnaaraa? oka vela unnaa manam kaadu ani uddesyamaa?(Pativratala perlu cheppamante, mee talli peru, mee peru enduku cheppaledu annatlu annamaata). Love peruto mosam jariginantha maatraana, prati premanu khandinchaalaa? Khachitamgaa prati prema fail avutundaa? Iddaru friends preminchi pelli chesukunte, friendships antaa love ki daariteestaayi anadam sababenaa? ikkada love marriages ki ye questions ayithe vestunnaaro, avi arranged marriages ki apply avutaayi kadaa. pelli ayintaruvaata partner chanipovadamane durghatana, arranged marriages lo undadaa? Really I don't know what to say!! Prati vokkaru marchi poyi vere pelli chesukuntunnaaraa? ikkada chesukovachchaa chesukokoodadaa anedi prasna kaadu, daaniki, deeniki link emiti, ani. Ante meeku individuality, sonta feelings undaddu. jeevithamlo kaalam dennainaa maripistundi, kaabatti meeru preminchinaa, true anukunnaa(evaru nammutaaru chepithe, kaalame telchaali. mari niroopinchukovadaaniki avakaasamedi?), vodilesi vere vaallani pelli chesukondi. appudu rendu kutumbaalu, andaru dil kush. pelli jarigina vaallu maatram aatma vanchana. nenu adigina anni questions ki samaadhaanam cheppaledu. ippudu mana peddavaallu manakoka sambandham choosaare anukondi, avatali vyakti verevarino preminchaaru,peddavaallu oppukoledu kaabatti, manalni chesukuntunnaaru anukondi. elaa feel avutaamu? Peddala maataluku viluviche goppa vaallu ani akkuna cherchukune Visaaaaaaala hrudayulu evarainaa unnaaremo? Nenu maatram kshaminchanu, inkoka ammaayi jeevitam naasanam chesina neechule(yes, neechulu). pillalu talli tandrulaku vyatirekamgaa pelli chesukunnaa(neram enduko), peddalaku poyedemi ledu. kaani preminchina vaallanu anyaayam chesinatte, vere vaallani pelli chesukunte. itu veellani marchipoleka, vere vaallani chesukoleka enta narakam. evarikainaa artham avutundaa? asalu veetilni feelings gaa evarainaa pariganistaaraa? Life,Marriage is just mechanical,then.Okallu manasulo vundagaa, verokariki sontam kaavaalsi vastundane ooha enta bhayamkaramgaa untundo evarikainaa telusaa?manchi vaallane adjustmentaa? Samsaaramante adjustmenta? vamsoddharanamane pavitra kaaryamaa(pavitrata paalu enta?)? machi vaallu prapamchamlo chaalaa mandi unnaaru. manam preminchina vaallu koodaa manchi vaaru, manaku peddalu kudirchina vaallu koodaa manchi vaare, manalni,mana premanu evaroo nammaru. mee bandham kalakaalam nilavadu, memu cheppina veellane chesukondi antaaru. sare avatali vaallu visaaaaaala hrudayule, mari mana paristithi emiti? manalnu preminchina vaallla paristithi emiti? ippudu evari ishta prakaaram pelli jaragaali? ilaa chesukomani cheppevaalle, alaa evarikainaa pelli jarigithe, antaku mundu okarini preminchaaru, inkokarni pelli chesukuntunnaaru. inte jeevitham. evarni nammalem. ee premalu trash antaaru. enta viddooram! Arranged marriages kannaa, Love marriages are more happier provided the persons are matured. ikkada maturity anedi evariki vaallu define chesukovaali. mana jeevitha bhaagaswaamiki manasa, vaachaa, karmana manam dakkaali. ante kaani kevalam sareeram maatrame kaadugaa. voka vela alaa kevalam sareeram to maatrame sardukupogalige vaallu unnaaraa? manasu akkaraledu ane vaallu. anta varaku penchina vaallu baadhapadaraa annaaru verevaarini premiste ani. mari meeru choosina vaallani pelli chesukunte baadha undadaa? vaalla meeda prema unte kalagani kopam, baadha, veella meeda kaligite untundaa? lekapote arranged kaabatti veellaki prema emundadu kadaa ani. ante gaa. Mere acceptance. Vere vaallani premiste talli tandrula meeda gauravam lenattenaa? Annee Cinematic loves, expressions enaa? ante ee prapamchalo evariki nijamaina prema ledu anenaa? Lower level heart details are abstracted. Only outer level, external interface is good. Dil kush. Everyone happy. Particular persons really die each and every minute in their life. no problem. Pelli chesukunnaaraa, pillalni kanaaraa, key iste tirige yantraalaa pillalu? alaa undaali ani anukuntunnaaraa? How the children should be? Parents wish our happiness only. But the definition of happiness differs from parents to children. Children ki emotional compatability kaavaali(mee drushtilo asalu alaantidi undadu. prapamchalo andaroo mosam chese vaalle untaaru).Peddalaku kulagotraalu, aasthi antastulu kaavaali. Arranged marriages lo koodaa manchi vaallu, manasunna vaallu, mana ideology ki saripoye vaallu undochu. naa manasulo vere vaaru unnaaru, oke meeru koodaa naku lifelong happiness istaaru, nannu baagaa choosukuntaaru kaabatti, mimmalni chesukunnanu ante, ye magavaarainaa elaa feel avutaaru? Oka vela ishtapadina vaari gnaapakaalu vaste appudu adi dharmamaa? nyayamaa? itu preminchina vaarini marchipoleka, tana gurinchina aalochanalu vaste, maangalya bandhaanike droham ani naligiporaa maanasikamgaa?maga vaaru paapam alaantivi feel avaru lendi. vaariki alaanti padaalaku arthaalu teleevu. Visaaaaaaala hrudayulu evaru unnaaru? maga vaallu tamani preminche ammaayilane chesukoru(not one way,veellu koodaa okappudu mimmalni preminchaam ani cheppe untaaru), ika verokarini preminchina vaallani chesukovadamaa? Okallu enta preminchinaa avatali vaallu hand iste(ye reason valla ayinaa kaavachu. reason yedaithe lendi, champesaaka),evaru premani niroopinchukoleru. Evaru elaa nammithe alaa chesukondi. Evari jeevitham vaaridi. evari jeevitham meeda vaariki hakku undaali. evarainaa debba tagili yedustunte, nuvvu eppudu navvutoo undaali ade naa korika, navvamante elaa untundi? noppi potundaa, navvite? adi peddalainaa , premikulainaa, meerante maakishtam kanuka, meeru ilaa undaali ani memu anukunnaamu kanuka meeru ilaa undaali, ante ivatali vaariki elaa untundi? Peddala drushtilo pillalu eppudoo chinnavaare. vaallu sarigga nirnayaalu teesukoremonane bhayam. nadavataaniki prayatniste ekkada padataado debbalu tagulutaayi ani, asalu nadavaneekundaa cheyam kadaa? ettukone tipputunte kudurutundaa? idi koodaa ante. Prema ani chepte, mundu test cheyandi, true love kadaa ani prove chesukovadaaniki(vaariki koodaa telustundi kadaa) avakaasamivvandi. appudu decide cheyandi, matured love kaadaa? ani. nenu arranged marriages ni kinchaparachaledu. In fact, arranged marriages lo prema elaa kalugutundi, elaa unte anubandamavutundi ani koodaa naa uddesyam cheppanu. But I personally feel that LOve marriages are good. Love marriages ni support chestunnaamu ante, khachitamgaa preminche pelli chesukovaali ani bheeshminchuku koorchune vaallu kaadandi. In fact, Pyaar kiyaa naheen jaata hai, ho jaataa hai.

Posted by: Ms. Prasanthi Uppalapati At: 8, Sep 2002 4:12:12 PM IST

Divorce rate love marriages lo ekkuve. kani aa tappu lovemarriage di kadu, lovers di. Love chesi marriage chesukovadam anedi jarigithe adi manchide. kani ala kakaunda compulsory lovemarriage e chesukovali ane decision matram tappu. edo manaki nachina vallu kalisi love chesi marriage chesukunte adi correct. kani ala kakunda chala mandi youth love cheyyadam oka passion gano heroism gano feel ayyi evaro okarini love cheyyali ane uddesamto sarina partner ni select chesukoru. aa effect anta marriage mundu oohalokamlo bagane untadi appatiki hero, heroine le. kani marriage ayyaka appudu ayyagariki, ammagariki jeevitha kastalemito telustayi. appudu inka ee love lavangai anni marchipoyi fighting start. anduke peddavallu ekkuvaga love ni accept cheyyaru. ante kani love cheyyadam tappu ani kadu. valla pillalu mentally metured, edaina alochinchakunda cheyyaru, tappu cheyyaru anna nammakam unna parents evaru valla pillala love ni oppose cheyyaru. e marriage chesukunna vallalo ayina godavalu ravadam common. endukante aa age lo ekkuva mandiki saraina avagahana undadu. thoughts oohalalonu cinema storylu lonu unatyi kani reality lo undavu. so valla life kooda aa prakarame jaragali anukuntaru. ala jaraganappudu nirasa dani nundi chinna ga okalla pai okkalaki dwesham. general ga alanti situation lo parents kani, bandhuvulu kani baadyata teesukoni vallani compromise chesi malli kalipithe long run lo asalu jeevitham ante emito telusukuntaru chinnaga compromise avvadam alavatu chesukuntaru. ekkadanna oka couple matram ee situation ni kooda daatipoyi divorce varaku veltaru. Ee marriage chesukunna konadariki peddala guidance chala avasaram. So love marriages ayina peddalu marriage tarvata pattinchukoni vallani guide cheste baguntundi. kani general ga love marriage lo intercaste marriages kani leka status lo difference lu kani alantivi ayithe parents kooda okalla parents mundu inkokallu compromise avvadam istam leka badyatha teesukoru. alanti vallalo edaina godavalu vachayante avi divorce varaku teesuku veltayi. So e marriage best anedi important kadu. sarayina life partner ni select chesukovadam, marriage chesukunnaka okallani okaru ardam chesukoni jeevinchadam impotant.

Posted by: Jonnalagadda Jonnalagadda At: 8, Sep 2002 2:05:57 PM IST

"meerandaru "Love" anedaanni negative feeling tho choostunnaaru" Obsolutely not, kakapote adi meeku enduku anipistundante, naa drishtilo love is part of life matrame, love is related to u, life is u, ur family, society etc., love anedi naaku kaligindi, life anedi naaku okaru prasadinchinadi, they are the reason for my existence, and i never ever forget this. "asalu pillalu premiste peddalu enduku baadhapadaali" manam close friend manakante close inkokarito matladite tattukolemu, alantidi innellu penchina vaariki sudden gaa naaku eduti vyakti ante pranam ani chepte vallu ela feel avutaaru ? mari mementi ane prashna varilo kalagada. idi sahajame kaani asahajam kadu kada. Ivanni mana varimida choope prema, variki manamiche gouravam meeda adhara padi untaai, jevitaniki sambadhinchi prati vishayanni varito charchinchi nirnayalu tesukunte, mana bhavalni share chesukunte, appudu nenu okarini premichanu ani chepite tappakunda santoshistaaru. Enduku peddavallu dweshistaaru, why peddavallu ---- ? ane Questions anukune mundu atleast try to be once in their shoes, and aveshamto kakunda koddi sepu alochiste meeku tappakunda arthamavutundi. "16 to 25 madhya premalo paddaaru anukondi.meeru cheppinatlu aakarshana anukondi. aa vishayam peddalu explain cheyagalagaale kaanee, raaddhaantam cheyakoodadu." akarshana poralu kallaku addanga, cinema inspirations unna, vaarki pedda vaaru sowmyanga cheppinavi artham kaavu, endukante akkda peddavallu enta cheppina variki reality teliyadu, so obvious ga raddhantam avutundi. peddavallu manalni ela penchaaru anna daanito paatu, mana vari pempakam lo emi nerchukunnamu, surrounding, friends, society valla ela inspire ayyam anevi kooda count loki vastaayi, ivvala repu vache prati movie lo students ante liquor, smoking lo dittalu annttu choopistunnaru. So ivanni kooda has their effect in your life style. So parents kaluga chesukoni reality vaipu daari choopite tappuledu. "Pelli anedi rendu kutumbaale kaadu, rendu manasulu yekamavvaali. kutumbaalu emi chestaayi? gurraanni nadi varaku teesukellagalam kaanee, neellu taaginchagalamaa?" rendu manasulaku kavaali, correcte, kaani, aa pellito sambhandham leni rendu kutumabaalu kalustaai, kotha parichayalu, kotha bandhaalu, untai, manchi cheddalo manaku sahaya pade maro kutumabapu todu ila enno untaai. sangha jeevaniki ivi prateekalu. ayina mana pelli ayyaka mana ee kutumbalato kalise untaamu kaani isolate ayi bratakam kada, mana life manadi vaari life vaaridi anam kada. pelli ayinanta matraana, inni rojula varaku neekunna bandhaalu tegi povu kada. So pelli chesukune vaari alochanalaku peddalu anubhavam todi nappude vaari jeevitam raanistundi.. mana aveshaniki manam alochanalto break veyyali. mana alochana sarina margam lo undaalante, daaniki anubhavam todu kavali. KONDANTA AVESHAM KANNA, ANUVANTA ALOCHANA GOPPADI. "Meeru life ivvachu, aa life ni ento aanandamayam cheyacchu, anta maatram cheta daaniki price gaa, jeevitham loni santhoshaanni adagakoodadu." ee talli tandrulu ila korukoru, but manam tappatadugu vestunnamu ante, manam ponde anandam koddi rojulade ane variki ainpiste ala cheyadamlo tappuledu. puttinappati nudi roju edo voka vishayamato pedda vaari premaku manam pariksha pedutunna, nee santosham lo valla santosham vetukkune varu. alantidi varu mana santoshaalaku addugoda ela avutaaru. "mari manalni preminchi, maname jeevitham ani, mana meeda enno kalalu, asalu penchukunna vaallu badha padacchaa?" ila ani mana family lo andarini badha pettavachaa? ani aduga vachu kaani, evaro okaru badha padali tappadu ane paristiti vaste, family or lover ante, i vote for family. May be i am wrong, may be i lost love, my life is with me. Nenu ikkada oka Question adugutaanu, premikulani vidadiste vaaru jeevitantam badha padataru ani antunnaru kada... iddaru premichi pelli chesukunnaka, koddi rojulu kalisi unnaka andulo pramada vashattu okaru chani pote, rendo vaaru nijanga jevitantam badha padatara ? padataru, kani koddi rojulu matrame, time to paatu marichi potaaru, aa taruvata snehitulu peddala salaha valla malli pelli chesukoni gatanni marchi potaaru. enni rojulu poyina varini taluchukoni veeru tama jeevitam vyartham chesukuntaaru. please adi true love kaadu anakandi, nenu reality matladutunnanu. adi tappu kadu kaani bratikunnta kalam aa biddanu gurtu techu koni badha padedi tallitandrulu matrame. vari badhaku antu undadhu, odarpu undadhu, antam undadhu ... Konni questions mana vayasuto alochiste peddavaru ila enduku chestunnaru ani pistundi kaani, repu manam aa vayasuku vachaka manam ela pravartistam anedi choodali, manaki mana parents ki unna generation gap lage, manaki mana pillalakiuntundi. raji gaaru, i am sorry andi, mimmalni and prshanti garini, perutone sambhodinchaanu, please danni generalize chesi guys anta respect lekunda matldataaru anakandi..

Posted by: Sreedhar G At: 8, Sep 2002 9:58:47 AM IST

'arranged marriages are safer'...this is not about buying shares int eh marketplace it is about love ...please don't compare it with a business like statement like 'safer'

Posted by: Ms. S S At: 8, Sep 2002 3:40:22 AM IST

"It would be fatal to identify love with a feeling because of the fickleness of feelings. However, it would be equally lethal to a relationship of love if there were no warm and loving feelings to support the intentions of love." Arranged marriages - an ancient Indian tradition.People have a very stereotypical view on arranged marriages."What an arranged marriage is, is an introduction to a guy through your parents. in a way it's like a blind date." Arranged marriages have been criticized because most times the couple does not know each other well. Love marriages are often considered to be the superior form of marriage.They claim to be married in the name of love. Nevertheless, we hear of divorce rates mounting every day. If so many claim to be married because of love, why is it that so many of these marriages still end up in a divorce? Shouldn’t love last till the end of life? Or could it be infatuation and not true love in the first place? Perhaps infatuation has run its course and has disappeared with time? I would say that this is not a marriage due to love but a marriage due to infatuation. Love does not change or evolve with time, environment or situation. We may find ourselves in love with the person of the opposite sex but what we do not realize is the fact that we might be wrong about our feelings. Very often, when we are infatuated, our first thoughts would be of spending the rest of our lives with the one whom you believe is the Mr. Right or Miss Perfect. "Love and Marriage" promotes romance - the flutter in the stomach that a person feels upon being smitten by the charms of another. Somehow we have bought into the notion that marriage cannot exist without romantic attraction. Love marriage couples believe in things like sharing the same interests or doing the same things, but in actual fact, all these do not make up a successful marriage. Arranged marriages do not work that way. It is not love-at-first-sight but rather love-after-marriage. Couples of arranged marriages usually do not expect too much of one another. They tend to accept their spouse for who they are and what they are. Perhaps, this brings about the success in them. In love marriages, we expect a lot of one another because we choose the soul mate ourselves. We always want the best at the things we choose. When expectations are not fulfilled, disappointments set in. Many of us who are against arranged marriage may claim that arranged marriage would not bring happiness because it does not happen out of love. If that were the issue, I would say that love could always grow and develop later after the marriage. In certain cases, the love that is born after marriage lasts longer than those before marriage. When your partner is chosen for you, you will learn to accept and to live with that person. As time goes by, love grows... I think arranged marraiges are so much much better( safer because both of you come from the same background, culture, etc...) than love marraige. lata

Posted by: Mrs. lata v At: 8, Sep 2002 3:23:23 AM IST

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