|
|
|
General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | just for fun | |
| wah..sreeni gaaru nice defnitions..keep writing..
especially defs. for smile and conference are really good
Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 24, Oct 2002 2:48:29 PM IST
1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end& a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationalsare more popular than a five-day test.
3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelordegree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by
feminine waterpower.
9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic: A book, which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway
"See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,Instead
of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father: A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Software Engineer: One who gets paid for reading such mails......
Posted by: Mr. M.S.Reddy At: 24, Oct 2002 11:08:29 AM IST
SON OF SARDAR IN SCHOOL:
Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father." Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent. " Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this
because I am Sardar ??"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me,
I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??"
The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."
Gangs
D U B A I
Posted by: Mr. Gangadhar Perumalla At: 23, Oct 2002 10:41:13 PM IST
Man calls home.
Maid answers phone.
He says, "Can I speak to my wife?"
She says, "No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend."
He's maid--says, "Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs and kill them both."
Being the loyal maid, she says, "Ok."
5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says, "Ok, they're both dead. What should I do with the bodies?"
He says, "Throw them in the pool, and I'll take care of them when I get home."
She says, "We don't have a pool."
He asks, "Is this 555-1234?"
Gangs
D U B A I
Posted by: Mr. Gangadhar Perumalla At: 23, Oct 2002 10:28:20 PM IST
Dingu : " Raging " Ni Teluguloo Emanduru ?
Pingu : RAGINGU
Posted by: ChandramSetti ChandraSekhar At: 23, Oct 2002 11:09:54 AM IST
Good jokes.
Posted by: Mrs. Aruna At: 23, Oct 2002 9:28:05 AM IST
Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband . She sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said : ' The buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater .
Gangs
D U B A I
Posted by: Mr. Gangadhar Perumalla At: 23, Oct 2002 3:08:39 AM IST
:)) :P good joke
Posted by: Mr. Bala Satya Ramesh Alapati At: 22, Oct 2002 3:12:27 AM IST
Read this joke at your own risk:
3 Monkeys escaped from the Zoo.
The 1st Monkey was seen drinking Cola
The 2nd Monkey was seen eating burger and
The 3rd Monkey is reading this joke now...
Just for fun
gangs...
Posted by: Mr. Gangadhar Perumalla At: 22, Oct 2002 0:06:29 AM IST
| |
|
|
|
| Advertisements |
|
|
|
|
| Advertisements |
|
