Discussion on Offbeat n Jokes in General Forum at TeluguPeople.com

Siri's Jokes Column

:))

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 29, Apr 2003 2:11:56 PM IST

wow i was really njoyed on these jokes keep goin guys thanx Daya

Posted by: Mr. DEV At: 29, Apr 2003 5:58:57 AM IST

SOME OLD JOKES................... Teacher : Why are you late? Balgobin : Because of the sign. Teacher : What sign? Balgobin : The one that says , "School Ahead,Go Slow". *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : Why are you doing your math sums on the floor Balgobin : You told me do it without using tables! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : Balgobin how do you spell "crocodile"? Balgobin : "K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L" Teacher : No, that's wrong Balgobin : May be it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : What is the chemical formula for water? Balgobin : "H I J K L M N O"!! Teacher : What are You talking about? Balgobin : Yesterday You said it's H to O! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : Balgobin, go to the map and find North America. Balgobin : Here it is! Teacher : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? Class : Balgobin! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago Balgobin : Me! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty? Balgobin : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Balgobin : Dad can you write in dark? Father : I think so. What do you want me to write? Balgobin : Your name on this report card *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? Balgobin : Don't bite any . *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : Balgobin give me a sentence starting with "I" Balgobin : I is.... Teacher : No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am". Balgobin : All right..."I am the ninth letter of the alphabet". *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : "Can anybody give me example of COINCIDENCE?" Balgobin : " Sir , my mother and father got married on the same day , same time". *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" Balgobin : " Because George still had the axe in his hand?" . *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Balgobin : Daddy have you ever being to Egypt? Father : No. why do you ask that? Balgobin : Well, where did you get this mummy then? *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Balgobin : Yes it really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : Now , children if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Balgobin : Brotherly love? *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : Balgobin do , tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Balgobin : No Sir my mom is a good cook *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : Balgobin your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Balgobin : No teacher its the same Dog! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps in talking when people are no longer interested? Balgobin : A teacher ************************************************************** Santa and Banta are best friends. Santa has very good job but Banta is jobless. They decide that they'll apply together for the next job. On day of the interview, Santa tells Banta that he will go inside first and answer all questions except the last one and after coming out he would tell Banta all the questions & answers. So when Banta will go and answer there, he will get the Job. So, Santa goes in. EMPLOYER: When did India get independence? SANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER: Good. Who is India's Prime Minister ? SANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER: OK. What is India's population? SANTA: (He was not to reply last one so he says) Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you Sir. Now he comes out and tells Banta all questions and answers. In a state of nervousness, Banta remembers all answers but forgot the questions. He goes in now. EMPLOYER: When were you born? BANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER: What???? Who is your father? BANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER: Employer is upset now. Are you mad Mr. Banta? BANTA: Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you Sir. ********************************** Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Posted by: Ms. ch siri At: 27, Apr 2003 9:25:31 PM IST

Short Story Contest A Sardarji happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing a shortest story. The organizer had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. Religon, sex, suspense and mystery. Sardarji turn came after many attempts by other. Sardarji gave a story, which was one sentence and read " O God, my wife is going to deliver child." Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the sardarji whether it contained all the four ingredients!! Sardarji replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below: - O, God: religion My wife: sex Going to deliver a child: suspense (whether a girl or a boy) " But where is the mystery?" asked one of the organizer. The sardarji replied: who is the father???

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 22, Apr 2003 1:50:28 PM IST

Why lightning never strikes a bus? ANS:BECAUSE A BUS HAS A CONDUCTOR.

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 22, Apr 2003 8:45:46 AM IST

A sardarji was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home.

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 16, Apr 2003 3:17:07 PM IST

Sardar Garbhajan singh went for his usual morning walk. At one junction he found a crowd. One man holding a syringe on one hand and the famous actress on the other hand. He threatens to inject the liquid which contain AIDS virus in to her body unless he is given a ransom of 10 corers of Rupees . Police men are helplessly watching. At this moment Garbachen rushed to the man and has a fight, he dropped the syringe, Police men arrested him. On the next day a ceremony is conducted to reward Garbachen. The chief guest CM of punjab while giving away the reward asked to the Garbachen " We are proud of you How did you show that much of courage even if you are aware of AIDS ?" Garbachen said "Sir I always wear a condom to avoid AIDS"

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 16, Apr 2003 3:13:18 PM IST

Then there was the 85 year old woman who found her husband in bed with another woman. She was so enraged that she dragged him to the balcony of their high-rise apartment and pushed him to his death. When she appeared in court, the judge asked if she had anything to say in her own defence. "Well Your Honour," she replied, "I figured if at 92 he he could make love, he could fly too."

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 16, Apr 2003 3:12:29 PM IST

A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the Sardar replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin' ". Once Zail singh was relaxing in a park. Some kids playing nearby decided to pull his leg. Walking up to him they asked him, "Sir are you relaxing?" Zail singh replied, "No, I am Zail Singh!" The kids started laughing wildly and ran off. This terribly confused Zail Singh and he decided to check it out. He walked up to a guy who was relaxing on a bench near him and asked, "Are you relaxing?" The man replied, "Yes, why do you ask?" Zail Singh answered with satisfaction, "Then those kids are probably looking for you!" Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES. Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 16, Apr 2003 2:49:02 PM IST

Bed time story What's the difference between women at the age of 8, 18, 28, 38, 48 and 58? 08 - You take her to bed and tell her a story. 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed. 28 - You don't need to tell her any story to take her to bed. 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed. 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed 58 - You stay in bed all day to avoid hearing her story

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 29, Nov 2002 1:21:51 PM IST

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