Discussion on Offbeat n Jokes in General Forum at TeluguPeople.com

Today"s Joke......

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "what is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning the little boy says to his father, "Dad, i think i understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."

Posted by: Ms. siri Ch At: 1, Mar 2003 1:11:05 AM IST

TRY THESE UNIX COMMANDS AND ANALYZE THE OUTPUTS . $) cat "food in cans" $) nice man woman $)make love $) sleep with me

Posted by: Mr. G Ravinder At: 28, Feb 2003 8:34:08 PM IST

George Bush: "Condoleeza! Nice to see you. What's happening?" Condoleeza Rice: "Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China." George: "Great. Lay it on me." Condoleeza: "'Hu' is the new leader of China." George: "That's what I want to know." Condoleeza: "That's what I'm telling you." George: "That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?" Condoleeza: "Yes." George: "I mean the fellow's name." Condoleeza: "Hu." George: "The guy in China." Condoleeza: "Hu." George: "The new leader of China." Condoleeza: "Hu." George: "The Chinaman!" Condoleeza: "Hu is leading China." George: "Now whaddya' asking me for?" Condoleeza: "I'm telling you Hu is leading China." George: "Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?" Condoleeza: "That's the man's name." George: "That's whose name?" Condoleeza: "Yes." George: "Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?" Condoleeza: "Yes, sir." George: "Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East." Condoleeza: "That's correct." George: "Then who is in China?" Condoleeza: "Yes, sir." George: "Yassir is in China?" Condoleeza: "No, sir." George: "Then who is?" Condoleeza: "Yes, sir." George: "Yassir?" Condoleeza: "No, sir." George: "Look, Condoleeza. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone." Condoleeza: "Kofi?" George: "No, thanks." Condoleeza: "You want Kofi?" George: "No." Condoleeza: "You don't want Kofi." George: "No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N." Condoleeza: "Yes, sir." George: "Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N." Condoleeza: "Kofi?" George: "Milk! Will you please make the call?" Condoleeza: "And call who?" George: "Who is the guy at the U.N?" Condoleeza: "Hu is the guy in China." George: "Will you stay out of China?!" Condoleeza: "Yes, sir." George: "And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N." Condoleeza: "Kofi." George: "All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone."

Posted by: Mr. M.S.Reddy At: 28, Feb 2003 12:54:27 PM IST

Don't be on this flight "This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. "If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. "If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. "That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"

Posted by: Ms. siri Ch At: 24, Feb 2003 2:37:59 AM IST

Two Trouble Makers A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

Posted by: Ms. siri Ch At: 23, Feb 2003 3:32:02 AM IST

A sardarji is having sun bath on the beach. One american came and asked sardarji "Are you relaxing?" Then Sardhar said..no I am Harbhajan Sing... Then again another guy came and asked same way, Sardharji replied same way...It repetead several times and the Sardharji got pissed off. He came to another Sardharji who is also taking sun bath and asked him the same question. This guys also said no no I am santha Sing. Then they both will discuss and dicide that they will find the missed person. So they reach a person who is also taking sun bath and asks the same question, he replies yes I am relaxing... Harbhajan sings slaps him angrly and yells him that many people are searching for you what the hell r u doing here... how is it?

Posted by: Rajesh At: 20, Feb 2003 5:31:23 AM IST

A man is almost about to die As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them." His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"

Posted by: Ms. siri Ch At: 20, Feb 2003 2:13:55 AM IST

In AMerica... A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm and soothing voice, says, "Alright, take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is silence, and then a gun shot is heard. The hunter comes back on the line. "OK. Now what??"

Posted by: Ms. siri Ch At: 19, Feb 2003 11:59:17 AM IST

(For those who have no idea..Washington & Oregon states r rainy throughtout the year..) A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into Heaven. Others,though,were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him. So he strolled over and asked Satan what he was doing. "Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering, why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?" "Ah, those . . ." Satan said with a groan. "They're all from Washington and Oregon, They're too wet to burn."

Posted by: Ms. siri Ch At: 16, Feb 2003 12:55:53 PM IST

Joke bagundh Aruna garu Papam Sardar..

Posted by: V E N K A T At: 15, Feb 2003 11:49:09 AM IST

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