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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | jokes | |
| Fish On The Wall
Q:What did the fish say when he hit a wall?
A:Dam!
Posted by: Mr. Rajasekhar Bhogi At: 6, Feb 2002 7:58:19 AM IST
The Hit and Run Case
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side of the Lexus. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
''I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are,'' he said. ''You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else.''
''How can you say such a thing?'' asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, ''Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you.''
''Ahhh!'' screamed the lawyer. ''Where's my Rolex!"
Posted by: Mr. Rajasekhar Bhogi At: 22, Jan 2002 5:41:11 AM IST
Oops!
It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
''Hello?'' says a little girl's voice.
''Hi, honey, it's Daddy,'' says Bob. ''Is Mommy near the phone?''
''No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank.'' After a brief pause, Bob says, ''But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!''
''Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!''
''Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house.''
''Okay, Daddy!'' A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. ''Well, I did what you said, Daddy.''
''And what happened?''
''Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead.''
''Oh, my God! What about Uncle Frank?''
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too.''
There is a long pause.
''Swimming pool? Is this 854-7039?''
Posted by: Mr. Rajasekhar Bhogi At: 22, Jan 2002 5:39:08 AM IST
Two people from Panjab Went 2 purchage two horses due 2 Petrol price hike.They purchaged two & reached home.Both got same doubt as how can recog. their own horse.
I st one:I will put one bell on one Ghoda,and count that one as mine.
II nd One: Do it.
Ist one brought one bell from shop and tied it to one Horse.
All the subject listned by one boy and he brought one bell from his house and knoted to second Ghoda after some time while they raway from shed.
The nextday the two Sardarjees stunned by viewing the Ghodas.
This time the Second Singh said
"Mea inn kaa Puunch(Tail) Kaatungaa."
That's Good said first one. The Work Finished and the boy listened & seen this thig also. After some time boy brouht one knife and detached the Poonch of second Ghoda.
By observing the situation both r weeping as
" Hay Bhagavan How we can recognise our horses, both r Having bells and without tails"
A Telugu Boy who is passing through that road came to know the story and advised them as "One took white one rest Block one is for another".
Posted by: Mr balivada venket pattnaik At: 17, Jan 2002 12:36:43 PM IST
Dear sir
Is there any provision 2 publish Telugu Khadalu and Kavitalu in this site?
Venket
Posted by: Mr balivada venket pattnaik At: 17, Jan 2002 12:14:53 PM IST
A Sarder goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The Sarder then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The Sarder says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His Sarder boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sarder replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
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What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
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Why did 18 Sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
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How do you make a Sarder laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
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Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
Posted by: Ms meghana n At: 11, Jan 2002 2:25:17 AM IST
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