Discussion on Offbeat n Jokes in General Forum at TeluguPeople.com

Today's Joke

If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit, these could be the caption in Newspapers: Bill goes Dhak-Dhak! English Babu Desi Mem. Brain marries Beauty!? Windows ke peechhe kya hai? Windows ke peechhe....!? Ooo Windows mein Bill hai mera... The next version of Windows will be "Windows MD." Microsoft Mouse V/S Madhuri - the cat. Relax guys! they'll only go for a virtual honeymoon Bill to count his millions & billions in EK, DO, TEEN. Gate for Bill, Windows for M.F.Hussain Mera Bill ghar aaya O Hussainji, Mera... Mera bill bhee kitna pagal hai... Bill Will, Gates Wates... Main kya jaanu re... ! -------------------------------------------- We all must have heard of ABCD = American Born Confused Desi... But How about an ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ American Born Confused Desi, Emigrated From Gujarat, Housed In Jersey, Keeping Lotsa Motels, Named Omkarnath Patel, Quickly Reached Success Through Underhanded Vicious Ways, Xenophobic Yet Zestful

Posted by: Miss Shital At: 11, Nov 2002 3:51:25 PM IST

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space . The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" ( its the barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 11, Nov 2002 3:32:49 PM IST

Idiot-Oka chanti gadi prema katha Stupid-oka pichchivadi prema katha Dumbo-oka cheviti vaadi prema katha {amma choosava koththaga inko movie vachchindhi antoo cheppindhi papa nijamanukuni nammesanu...meelo entha mandhi nammaru]

Posted by: Mrs. Aruna At: 11, Nov 2002 2:16:29 PM IST

Due to the tension in India-Pakistan border, the Customs officials in India were warned of possible smuggling of guns from Pakistan into India. A man came to the border from Pakistan on a bicycle with two bags tied on each sides of the cycle and he was stopped! "What are you carrying?" asked the officials. He replied, "Just sand!" "OK, open it the bags! Let's see!" He did and it contained nothing but sand! After 2 days, the bicycle man was again on the border. "What are you carrying now?" asked the officials . He said, "Just sand!". " OK, open it! Let's see!" Again, nothing but sand! And so it went for several many days! Soon after the war was over and everything was fine. Sometime later one of the officials met the man with the bicycle in a market. "Hey you! We are sure you were smuggling something but always the bags had sand! What was it that you were smuggling?" "Bicycles!" he replied!

Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 11, Nov 2002 2:04:32 PM IST

Lallo yadav was bragging to his Rabri one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, Rabri called him bluff, "OK, Lallo how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Laloo and Rabri fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Laloo! Great to see you! come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Rabri is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, she tells Laoo that she thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Laloo says. "President Bush," Rabri quickly retorts. "Yes, I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, George W. spots Laloo on the tour and motions him and Rabri, saying, "Laloo, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, Rabri is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, she expresses his doubts to Santa, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," Rabri replies. "Sure!" says Laloo. "I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Laloo and Rabri are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Laloo says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And Laloo disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Laloo emerges with the Pope on the balcony. By the time Laloo returns, he finds that Rabri has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to Rabri's side, Santa asks, "What happened?" Rabri looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Laloo yadav?

Posted by: Miss Shital At: 10, Nov 2002 4:49:03 PM IST

good collection shital jee Gangs D U B A I

Posted by: Mr. Gangadhar Perumalla At: 9, Nov 2002 8:15:04 PM IST

What is a smart Malayalee called? Debo-nair. What is a dynamic malayalee called ? Pheno-Menon What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu? I, Iyer, Iyengar What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer ? Just-beer Singh What do you call a sardar who has only one drink ? Just-one Singh. a bald sardarjee .. BAL-WANT SINGH Why is A.P the land of underwears ? 'cos there they keep saying - yemUNDEE, chappUNDEE, koorchUNDDEE etc What is the (State) Anthem of A.P ? telan-gana-mana ... What do you call a very rich Malayalee? Million Iyer What do you call a sikh female's boyfriend? Her Pal Singh What do you call a sikh guy running towards the enemy camp with a white flag in his hand? Surrender Singh How does a malayalee spell the word 'MOON' ? M - O yet another O N.

Posted by: Miss Shital At: 9, Nov 2002 7:58:33 PM IST

Once a drunkard was going in his cycle without lights at night. A cop stopped him and told him that he would be fined for not having lights on his bicycle. The drunkard replied, "Arre bhai saheb! Mein to binaa cycle mein light ke chala rahaa hoon… peeche dekhiye… uske paas to cycle hi nahin hai!"

Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 9, Nov 2002 10:21:09 AM IST

10. Marrying a blond is a sin. Making love to a blond is a partial sin. 9. Pre-marital sex is a sin. Marital sex is a partial sin. 8. Taking dowry is a sin. Giving dowry is a partial sin. 7. Bullying one's wife is a sin. Having to submit is a partial sin. 6. Gambling is a sin. Playing cards is a partial sin. 5. Drinking is a sin. Smoking is a partial sin. 4. Eating beef is a sin. Eating pork is a partial sin. 3. Hurting a cow is a sin. Hurting insects is a partial sin. 2. Not phoning home is a sin. Running up a huge bill is a partial sin. 1. Forgetting first language is a sin. Speaking with an accent is a partial sin

Posted by: Miss Shital At: 9, Nov 2002 4:25:03 AM IST

A man was praying to God He said, "God!?" God responded, "Yes?" And the guy said, "Can I ask a question?" "Go right ahead," God said. "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "a million years to me is only a second." "Hmmm," the man wondered. Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?" God said, "a million dollars to me is as a penny." So the man said, "God. can I have a penny?" And God cheerfully said, "Sure!!.....just a second."

Posted by: Mr. RAJESH M At: 7, Nov 2002 6:25:12 PM IST

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