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General Forum: Love | | Which are Best ? Love Marriages or Arranged Marriages | |
| Aruna garu, mee points to nenu ekeebhavistunnaanu. Kaanee, ammaayila maatalaku viluva vuntundi ante nenu nammanu. nijamgaa undatam ledu. If anyone can get the statistics, if it is revealed properly, most of the girls do not have any final decision capacity about their marriage. ee rojullo koodaa. naaku telusu. inta varaku maa friends ki jarigina pellillalo annee ante. There is no intimacy between the couple before marriage. Just a toss.
Kalyan garu, Love chesukuni, pelli chesukovataniki profit or loss ani alochinchevaallu time pass cheyyataniko leka spare lo pettukovaalani alaa chestaaru, ani annaaru kadaa, indulo evari saatam enta?
Posted by: Ms. Prasanthi Uppalapati At: 8, Sep 2002 0:57:21 AM IST
evandi raji gaaru(respect ..is it ok now??), nenu argument sake kaadu practical gaa kudaa nenu rasindi prove cheyyagalanu...meeru chalaa chalaaa chalaaaa practical gaa alochistunnaaru...next step veste danilo emi labham ani alochiste ee lokam lo evaru ee step veyyaleru.
Love chesukuni, pelli chesukovataniki profit or loss ani alochinchevaallu time pass cheyyataniko leka spare lo pettukovaalani alaa chestaaru.
Dont u think u also fighting for argument sake...
Posted by: Mr. kalyan chakravarthy chalasani At: 8, Sep 2002 0:06:42 AM IST
Prasanthi garu,
Meela nenu writer ni kadhu kadha,naa bashalo minimum guarentee ante ,arranged mariages lo kooda parents ki100% nachchina sambandhame dorukuthundhi ani kaadhu,okokka dhanilo okokka problem vundochchu I mean oka match chesthe vaalla ammaye vere desam lo vundochchu,oka match lo ammaye joint family lo vundochchu,oka match lo badyathalu vundochchu...ila rakarakaaluayethe ammaye ekkada ayethe happyga vundagaluguthundhi[20 years ga penchina vallaki teleedha mana istaalu,alochanalu,abhiprayalu] anipinchina dhanni alochinchi fix chestharu.
Mari arranged marriages lo koodaa ilanti prema undaalante, mundu, okarini vokaru snehitulugaa pariganinchaali. tama gurinchina vishayaalannitinee cheppaali.
About their life so far, their aims, aspirations, wishes ,desires and what they expect from the partner..etc annaru kadha ivanne cheppakundane telusu kogalige bandhame marriage.
"ippudu buddhochindi ani cheppagalamane santhoshamaa!! emiti cheppandi"annaru kadha ala ani kaadhu kanee mundhe variki sadabhiprayam lenappudu vallu appudu adjust avu ani kanee,saryna salaha ivvaleremo ani naa abhiprayam,{ikkada malli adjust ante okka ammaye adjust avvala ani kadhu,choodandi oke intilo perige annadhammulu,akka chellella abhiprayalu,istalu veru ga vunnappudu,different vathavaranam lo perigina idhdhari abhiprayal;u exact ga match kavu kadha evaro okaru edo oka vishayam lo adjust avvali kadha}
Ika chinna chinna mata thedala gurinchi manam matladadam ledhu,chinna chinna chilipi dhebbalatalu,alakalu lenidhe chala chappaga vuntundhi life,veeetiki pedhdhavalla jokyam avasaram ledhu meeru cheppinatlu
Posted by: Mrs. Aruna At: 7, Sep 2002 10:00:28 PM IST
laabham ante ikkada naa uddesyam Profit and gain kaadandi.
SukhaSanthoshaalu ani.
I don't want to hurt anybody or anyone's feelings.
In fact, I do not disregard parents. I just want a change in people's attitude regarding Love and Love Marriages.
Prema sinimaalanu choosi hit chestaaru. kaanee prema ane vishayaanni nija jeevitamlo doshamlaagaa pariganistaaru.
Cinema veru jeevitham veru. Correct. kaanee aa concepts ni koodaa support cheyakoodadu kadaa.
Love marriage ayithe, okallani okaallu poortigaa artham chesukuntaaru, jeevitham gurinchi oka plan vesukuntaaru, so they are very much clear about their ideas,behaviour and togetherness.
Mari arranged marriages lo koodaa ilanti prema undaalante, mundu, okarini vokaru snehitulugaa pariganinchaali. tama gurinchina vishayaalannitinee cheppaali.
About their life so far, their aims, aspirations, wishes ,desires and what they expect from the partner etc., In the same way we should know about the other person also. First of all be friends and then only be wife and husband. I name it as Indian Way of Dating.
Please read my article, "Marriage" in this site. I think Prasad garu, changed my title and has given other name to it. "Successful Marriages make the life happy" or something like that. Read and post your comments there.
Once again,I confess, the success of a marriage, of what form it may be, just lies in destiny no matter how good the people and couple may be and whatever the circumstances they may be.
Posted by: Ms. Prasanthi Uppalapati At: 7, Sep 2002 5:36:12 PM IST
i think it is the generation gap on this message board...i can see the older generation being rather critical of 'love' marriages and that is probably rising out of the fact that when they were growing up the situation was quite different.
Posted by: Ms. S S At: 7, Sep 2002 5:35:31 PM IST
Aruna garu, minimum guarantee emitandi?
chaalaa baadhagaa undi aa padam vinadaaniki.
enni samvatsaaraalu kalisi batikaam annadi mukhyam kaadu,entagaa okarini vokaru artham chesukunnaaru anedi mukhyam.
Meeru cheppina dialogue vishayaaniki vaste,
aa maata koodaa, aa ammaayi ledaa aa bharya, kevalam tana bharta meeda unde prematone, aa bhartaku yemi kaakoodadane bhayamtone anina maate kaanee, vidipovaalani kaadu kadaa.
marriage taruvaataa chaalaa responsibilities correct. mari anta baadhyatalani aanandamgaa sweekarinchaalanna, nirvartinchaalannaa, manalni artham chesukoni, manalni manamgaa preminche vyakti jeevita bhaagaswaami ayithe enta baavuntundi! aalochinchandi.
Ika vyatirekatalu antaaraa, tappakundaa overcome chestaaru. ika samasyala vishayaaniki vaste, peddalu support cheyaru kanuka badhapadtaaru annaaru. peddalu support enduku cheyakoodadu. kevalam preminchi pelli chesukunnaaru, maa ishtaaniki vyatirekamgaa ani dweshamaa? ippudu buddhochindi ani cheppagalamane santhoshamaa!! emiti cheppandi?
Nijamaina premikulai, jeevitham meeda avagaahana, vivaham patla nibaddhata unde vaallu evvaru, kaneesam , abhipraaya bhedaalani koodaa evaritho chepparu. vaallantata vaalle overcome chestaaru.
Adi arranged marriage ayinaa, love marriage ayinaa evari jokyam lekapotene, inkaa tondaragaa problem solve avutundi.
Endukante, paiki enni cheppinaa, ye vyakthi ayinaa anta easy gaa vivaham ane bandhaanni tenchukovaalani anukoru. devudu kudirchina bandham, ani, daaniki todu, sahacharyam kaaranamgaa janinchina aatmeeyata valla koodaa vidiporu. vidipote vacche laabhaalakannaa, kalisi undadam valla unde laabhaale ekkuva. ee vishayam yuvatha ki teleedu ani nenu anukovatam ledu.
Posted by: Ms. Prasanthi Uppalapati At: 7, Sep 2002 5:17:41 PM IST
Love anedhanni negative feeling tho evaru choodadam ledhu.
Parents love anedhi pure,dhanilo anumaname ledhu,kaneee ikkada manam discuss chesukune love okokkasari akarshana kavachchu,okokka sari pure kavachchu kanee guarentee ledhu andhuke parents bayapadatharemo.Shiva movie lo oka dialouge"pelliki mundhu ea lakshanalu choosi nenu istapaddano ave lakshanalu ipudu nachchadam ledhu" ani pelliki mundhu athani dashing nature,anyaayanni edirinchadam choosi istapadina ameki pelli tharuvatha ilanti vatiloki velithe ami athaniki ami aapada vasthundho ani bayam.Andhuke real life lo chala theda vundhi love chesetppudu okaripy okaru prema choobinchukovadam,okari abhiprayalani okaru samardhinchukovadam okkate pani,ade marriage tharuvatha chala responsibilities...appudu thedalu vasthe vellaki parents nunde support thakkuvaga vuntundhi kabatti marriages fail ayye chance ekkuva,andhuku bayapadatharu, badhapadatharu parents,andhuke minimum guarentee vunna arranged marriages vypu ke moggu chooputharu.Kanee okati matuku nijam pillalaki nerpinchalsindhi edi manchi edi chedu ane vishayanni valle telusukogaligetlu penchali thappa nenu ithanni preminchanu,ithanne pelli chesukuntanu anentha varaku vachchina tharuvatha evaru emi cheyyagaligedhi ledhu pelliki oppukovadame manchi padhdhathi.
Posted by: Mrs. Aruna At: 7, Sep 2002 5:03:32 PM IST
meerandaru "Love" anedaanni negative feeling tho choostunnaaru. asalu pillalu premiste peddalu enduku baadhapadaali? meeru andaru cheppinatlu, manaku prema gurinchi telisedi peddala valana, siblings and friends valana. mari jeevithabhaagaswaami nunchi veerandari prema yokka sum ni expect chestaamu kadaa !!
Negative things about Love:
1. 16 to 25 madhya premalo paddaaru anukondi.meeru cheppinatlu aakarshana anukondi. aa vishayam peddalu explain cheyagalagaale kaanee, raaddhaantam cheyakoodadu.
In fact what I feel is, Parents should bring the children up with individualistic nature. ante chinnappatinunche vaalla lo manchi qualities ni, sonta vyaktitvaaanni, nirnayaalu sontagaa teesukogalige telivitetalni, vivekaanni istoo, cultivate chestoo penchali. ante kaani, mana pillalane premato vaariki sambandhinchina vishayaalannee maname cheyaali anukokoodadu.
Right from the beginning itself, we should try to bring them up with this motto in mind.
Eppudaithe peddalu ilaa careful gaa penchutoo, vaari manasulo bhaavaalani cheppanistoo, (ante pillalatho khachhitamgaa time spend cheyadamu, that to quality time ante interaction undi friendliness undaali), vaarini gamanistoo unte, elaanti misunderstandings undavu.
Oka vela pillalu aakarshanaku lonayinaa, memu premalo paddaamane vishayaanni peddalato cheptaaru(pillalu prema ane kadaa antaaru). appudu telivigaa vaari daari lone veltoo, vaariki arthamayyetatlu explain cheyaali. ante mundu vaalla feelings ni artham chesukovaali. idi aakarshanaa lekapote nijamaina abhimaanaamaa? ani oka vela true ayinaa, life lo career importance cheptoo, daaniki main importance ivvaalani cheppaali.
okarini artham chesukovadaaniki enta time padtundi ane vishayam. nenu cheppedi okati. adi Love mg. kainaa , Arranged kainaa okate kadaa.
Ante kaani, prema anede tappu anadam tappu. pillalu premiste peddalu enduku baadhapadaali? I question once again.
Peddalaku mana meeda konni expectations untaayi annaru. nijame. emiti aa expectations? vaalla boundaries lo tiragatamaa? tallitandrulu cheppaarani ishtam leni pelli chesukoni, jeevithaantham baadha anubhaviste santhoshamaa?
Ikkada andaroo oka vishayam marchipotunnaaru.
Pelli anedi rendu kutumbaale kaadu, rendu manasulu yekamavvaali. kutumbaalu emi chestaayi? gurraanni nadi varaku teesukellagalam kaanee, neellu taaginchagalamaa?
Asalu pelli lo eppudu pelli chesukune vaarike praamukhyam ivvaali. jeevithaantham kalisi undavalasindi vaare kanuka.
Peddalu baadha paddarani(enduku badha?) preminchina vaallani chesukoledu anukondi? avatali vaari paristithi emiti? verokarini chesukogalaraa? itu chesukunna vaallu taamu preminchina vishayam chepite, bharta/bharya elaa feel avutaaru? cheppakapote, vivaha dharmaanike avamaanam.
endukante, vivaham ante, nammakam, gauravam. ye vishayam daachakoodadu. mari daachipedite emani? oka vela chepite valla paristithi emiti? Pelli ante aatalaa?
Meeru life ivvachu, aa life ni ento aanandamayam cheyacchu, anta maatram cheta daaniki price gaa, jeevitham loni santhoshaanni adagakoodadu.
You please don't misunderstand that I don't respect parents. I respect and pray parents. But one should give respect to one's feelings also.
evarini particular nirnayam ekkuva prabhaavitam chestundo, vaari abhipraayam prakaaram aa nirnayam jaragaali.
Mallee cheptunnaa, Love marriages, Love tappu kaane kaadu.
Please read my article, "Love-Troubles". It is in authorsden.com. I think I haven't posted it here.
Pelli vishayamlo sontha nirnayam teesukunte, pedda vaalla meeda gauravam,prema lenattenaa?
andari questions ki, answer icchaanane anukuntunnaanu. Sreedhar gaaru, meeku koodaa. mee last statement. peddalu badha padakoodadu annaaru. mari manalni preminchi, maname jeevitham ani, mana meeda enno kalalu, asalu penchukunna vaallu badha padacchaa?
Tallitandrulaku, pillalaku unna anubandham eppatiki maaradu. evaroo marchaleru. Pillalu vere pelli chesukunnaa, konni samvatsaraala tarvaata artham chesukoni, manato maatlaadinaa, aa relationship chekkuchedaradu. kaanee premikulu vidipoyi vere vaallani pelli chesukunte jeevithamlo eppatikainaa poorva bandham resume avutundaa? appudu pillala premani peddalu artham chesukunnaa upayogam untundaa? adi elaantidante, urisiksha amalu jarigaaka, nirdoshi ani teladam laantidi.
Kannavaallaki manalni kani, penchina raktha sambandham, valla prema. kaanee manaku emi kaani vaaru, manakosam tama jeevithaanne arpistaare, mari vaalla prema maatram takkuva viluva ayinadaa? Preminchi pelli chesukovaali anukunte peddalni gauravinchanattenaa?
Nijamaina prema untundaa? ante daaniki evariki vaallu samadhaanam cheppukovaali.
Pelli mana jeevithaalni poorthigaa maarchestundi. kaabatti aa pelli chesukune vaallaku tama bhaagaswaamini taame ennukune hakku kaavaali.
Madhavi gari, Mr. S.S. gari abhipraayaalato nenu poortigaa ekibhavistunnaanu. Kaani Mr.S.S. garu, Sridhar baabu gaari anadam baagaaledu. vyangyam dhvanistondi. manaku nacchani abhipraayamaithe, aa bhaavalani vyatirekinchaale gaani, manushulni kaadandi. Please maintain politeness in discussions.
Idi guddigaano, vitandam gaano vaadinchadaaniki kaadu. kevalam mana abhipraayaalanu panchukuntoo, avatali vaari vaadanalani vintoo, atu vaipu koodaa aalochistoo, correct nirnayaaniki raavadam.
Raji gaaru, cheppina point correct. ayithe brahmins lone kaadu. prati vokkaru intercaste marriages gurinchi alaage feel avutaaru.
Peddalaku main bhayam samaajam emantundo, bandhuvulu emantaaro ane. Prati vokkaru alaage anukuntaaru. Critical Section lo laagaa. evaroo enter kaaru. ante kaanee taamu tama pillalaki support chesi stubborn gaa unte, evaroo yemi cheyalerani artham chesukoru.
eppudaithe mana nirnayaala meeda, mana meeda, mana aacharana meeda manaki nammakam untundo, appudu evariki bhayapadaalsina pani ledu.
Posted by: Ms. Prasanthi Uppalapati At: 7, Sep 2002 4:25:25 PM IST
one more thing about sridhar babugari comments..."true love never fails" ..that itself is a filmi statement to me. Love like many other things in life needs constant care and nurturing...you cannot plant a tree and leave it like that ...you have to water it and take care of it. So true love does not itself develop the capacity to win...it is the people who love who make it win or lose.
Posted by: Ms. S S At: 7, Sep 2002 2:30:43 PM IST
I agree with Madhavi in 'tryin' to convince our elders....but thatt's what it sometimes is....only trying. If parents do not have any other reason besides caste, creed and religion to oppose a marriage then sometimes no amount of convincing does any good. In those situations I think children are put in a difficult situation of choosing between their parents and their partner. I know people who are married for a number of years and have children of their own but their parents still dont talk to them because they married outside religion or caste. We are a secular country and it is sad that this happens even in teh 21st century.
Posted by: Ms. S S At: 7, Sep 2002 2:24:39 PM IST
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