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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | jokes-- enjoy | |
| ippuDardhamayyindi... mukka vaasana vEsE jOk ayinA vinAlani, navvAlani. :):)):))
Posted by: Durga Prasad At: 7, Jul 2003 10:23:17 AM IST
Zindagi Hai To Khwaab Hai
Khwaab Hai To Manzilein Hai
Manzilein Hai To Fasaley Hai
Fasaley Hai To Rastey Hai
Rastay Hai To Mushkilein Hai
Mushkilein Hai To Hausla Hai
Hausla Hai To Vishawas Hai
Vishvas hai to Paisa hai
Paisa hai to Shohrat hai
Shohrat hai to Izzat hai
Izzat hai to Ladki hai
Ladki hai to Tension hai
Tension hai to Concern hai
Concern hai to a Khayaal hai
Khayaal hai to Khwaab hai
Khawab hai to Growth hai
Growth hi to Zindagi hai
Matlab duniya Gol Gol hai
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 6, Jul 2003 8:45:24 PM IST
pAtadE ... chAlA ...
Posted by: Durga Prasad At: 6, Jul 2003 2:44:27 PM IST
An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potatogarden,but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:
Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able
to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the
garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad
Shortly,the old man received this telegram:
"For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!" At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote
another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It's the best I could do for you from here.
Posted by: Mr. shyam shooter At: 5, Jul 2003 5:05:55 AM IST
bAgundi... chAlA bAgundi
Posted by: Durga Prasad At: 4, Jul 2003 11:20:02 AM IST
Consultant
-------------
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver,
a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,
leans out the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many
sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the
internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an
exact
fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans
the area
in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
Then young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within
seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been
processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through
an ODBC
connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads
all of this
data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a
response. Finally,
he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP
LaserJet printer
and finally turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the
shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?"
"You're a consultant." says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the shepherd. "You showed up here
even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
already knew; to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything
about my business ... "
" ... Now give me back my dog."
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 4, Jul 2003 6:43:59 AM IST
Consultant
-------------
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver,
a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,
leans out the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many
sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the
internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an
exact
fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans
the area
in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
Then young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within
seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been
processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through
an ODBC
connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads
all of this
data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a
response. Finally,
he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP
LaserJet printer
and finally turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the
shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?"
"You're a consultant." says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the shepherd. "You showed up here
even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
already knew; to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything
about my business ... "
" ... Now give me back my dog."
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 4, Jul 2003 4:03:58 AM IST
thanks:)
Posted by: Ms. G Sunita At: 2, Jul 2003 6:31:14 PM IST
nice one sunita :)
Posted by: Mr. shyam shooter At: 2, Jul 2003 6:27:33 PM IST
hey prasad
don't worry i think here we have saddi kudu :))
Posted by: Mr. Sreenivasa Reddy V At: 2, Jul 2003 11:50:04 AM IST
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