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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | Today's joke............ | |
| dhoto coffee
Posted by: Mrs. Saila Sarigala At: 3, Sep 2003 9:45:22 PM IST
Kammani Chikkani Kauphy
Ore Oru Kauphy
Jab Pyar Kauphy se hotha haien
The Coffee
Posted by: Mr. M Kumar N At: 3, Sep 2003 4:59:33 PM IST
Newton and Tamil movies...!!
Recently the father of physics made a visit to earth to watch a
movie.
He
watched a few Tamil movies and had his head spinning. He was
convinced
that
all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and
apologised for everything he had done.
In the movie of Vijayakanth Newton dada was confused to such an
extent
that
he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:
1) Vijayakanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors
can't
be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great
Vijayakanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet
passes
through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured.
Long
Live Vijayakanth.
2) In one of the movies, Vijayakanth is confronted with 3
gangsters.
Vijayakanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what
he
does....... He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle
gangster.. & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the
bullet
into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle
gangster & the knife kill the middle one ....
3) Vijayakanth is chased by a gangster. Vijayakanth has a
revolver
but
he got no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your
remotest
imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the
gangster
shoots, Vijayakanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and
catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires
his
gun. Bang... And the gangster dies....
This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken
and
he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last
time
and
thought that atleast one movie will follow his theory of physics.
The whole movies goes fine and newton is happy that all in the world
hasn't
changed. Oops not so fast. The climax finally arrives. Vijayakanth
gets
to
know that the villian is on the the other side of a very high wall.
So
high
that Vijayakanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those
superman
techniques that our heroes normally use. Vijayakanth has to
desparalety
kill the villian because its the climax Newton dada is smiling since
it
is
virtually impossible).. Vijayakanth suddenly pulls two guns from his
pocket
(Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun
has
reached the height of the wall,he shoots at the trigger of the first
gun
in
air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villian
is
dead. Newton faints.
Posted by: Mr. M.S.Reddy At: 3, Sep 2003 8:33:41 AM IST
TEACHER : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
STUDENT : Brotherly love?
Posted by: Raj Sekhar At: 19, Aug 2003 5:42:31 PM IST
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is
green and one is blue with red spots!
STUDENT : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just
like that at home.
Posted by: Raj Sekhar At: 18, Aug 2003 3:19:23 PM IST
SON : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
SON : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Posted by: Raj Sekhar At: 17, Aug 2003 8:28:54 PM IST
TEACHER : Babloo, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Babloo : I is...
TEACHER : No, Babloo. Always say, "I am."
Babloo : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Posted by: Raj Sekhar At: 17, Aug 2003 1:07:54 PM IST
haahahahahaha... nice joke... this reflects the smartness of our politicians.
Posted by: Durga Prasad At: 16, Aug 2003 10:14:53 AM IST
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.
Only one person could go,and he will not return to Earth.The first applicant,an American engineer,was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going."A million dollars",he answered,"because I wish to donate it to M.I.T."The next applicant,a Russian doctor,was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars."I wish to give a million to my family,he explained ,"and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."The last applicant was an Indian politician.When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.The Indian Politician replied, $1 million is for you, I'll keep $1million, and we'll give the American engineer $1 million and send him to Mars."
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 15, Aug 2003 9:21:56 PM IST
-A Dinner Conversation That Went Wrong
WIFE : "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND : "Definitely not!"
WIFE : "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND : "Of course I do."
WIFE : "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND : "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE : "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."
HUSBAND : (makes audible groan).
WIFE : "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND : "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE : "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND : "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE : "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND : "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE : - - - silence - - -
HUSBAND : "Shit."
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 6, Aug 2003 4:10:56 AM IST
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