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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | Today's Joke | |
| Laloo Yadav went to the US & had a meeting with Clinton. Clinton said, "I want to show you the advancement in technology in USA. Come with me."
Clinton takes him in a deep forest and says. "Dig the ground."
Laloo digs.
Clinton says, "More, more, more..."
Laloo has now reached a 100 feet.
Clinton says, "So now, did you find anything?"
Laloo says, "I got a wire!"
Clinton says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years ago we used to have telephones!"
Laloo was very frustrated and he invited Clinton to India.
In India Laloo says, "Now I want to show you the advancement in India!"
He takes Clinton to a forest and asks him to dig.
After some time Laloo says, "More. .. more... more!"
Clinton has now reached almost 400 feet.
Laloo Singh says, "Find anything?"
Clinton tries but finds nothing, "Nothing here!"
Laloo says, "You see even 400 years ago we had gone WIRELESS!"
Posted by: Miss Shital At: 7, Nov 2002 5:33:11 PM IST
Due to the tension in India-Pakistan border, the Customs officials in India were warned of possible smuggling of guns from Pakistan into India. A man came to the border from Pakistan on a bicycle with two bags tied on each sides of the cycle and he was stopped!
"What are you carrying?" asked the officials. He replied, "Just sand!" "OK, open it the bags! Let's see!" He did and it contained nothing but sand!
After 2 days, the bicycle man was again on the border. "What are you carrying now?" asked the officials . He said, "Just sand!". " OK, open it! Let's see!" Again, nothing but sand! And so it went for several many days!
Soon after the war was over and everything was fine. Sometime later one of the officials met the man with the bicycle in a market. "Hey you! We are sure you were smuggling something but always the bags had sand! What was it that you were smuggling?"
"Bicycles!" he replied!
Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 6, Nov 2002 3:08:25 PM IST
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.
Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.
"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
Posted by: Mr. Rajasekhar Bhogi At: 6, Nov 2002 7:47:31 AM IST
lancham puchukontini pattukoniri, lancham ichanu vedilipettiri.
Posted by: Jonnalagadda Jonnalagadda At: 2, Nov 2002 3:49:51 PM IST
Once Laloo Yadav went to USA.
He stayed with one of the senators of the US Govenrment. The senator's home was extraordinary. Laloo was amazed by the riches of the senator. He asked him how he had earned so much and made this beautiful a home.
The senator took him to a window and asked him, "Do you see that river?"
Laloo replied, "Yes!"
"And do you see that bridge?", asked the senator.
Laloo replied "Yes!"
The senator said, "50%!" (took as a bribe)
Laloo was happy to hear this and he invited him to come to India. When the senator came and saw Laloo's home he was shocked. It was far bigger than his home. He asked Laloo how he made so much money.
Laloo took him to a window and said, "Do you see that river?"
The senator replied, "Yes!"
"And do you see the bridge?", asked Laloo .
"No." replied the senator.
Laloo said, "100%!"
Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 1, Nov 2002 3:32:15 PM IST
"JOHNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
The man's companion says to the bartender:
JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "What about you sir??"
Laloo Replies:
"LALOO YADAV, MARRIED
Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 30, Oct 2002 12:55:58 PM IST
Oka English mastaru vala students la ku english patalu cheputunadu, Mastare English barinchaleka muguru students clasu bytaku veli oka chetu kinda nelapadutharu., Vala mastaru students tho illa lopaliki ramani antunadu
"Both of you 3 boys are outstanding, dont understand the tree, income, income, principal is going to pass on this way"
Mastergari artham amte ante,
All for you 3 boys are standing out, dont stand under the tree, Come in, Come in, principal is going to pass by this way" ani...
Posted by: Mr. Praveen Kumar Pokala At: 30, Oct 2002 6:19:44 AM IST
Sardarji - With all due respect
The Exam
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour". "But yaar", he says, "I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote."
Posted by: Mr. RAJESH M At: 30, Oct 2002 1:36:56 AM IST
Marriage Warnings
Finally, here is some warning given out in good faith!
Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote:(
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote:)
Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai
Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha
Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye
Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap
Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky
Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?
Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Apke Hain
Shaadi he baad - Hum Apke Hai Koun
Posted by: Mr. RAJESH M At: 30, Oct 2002 1:24:33 AM IST
A clever elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted, so she told
the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, an
emerald bracelet, and a gold Rolex."
"But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist pointed out.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I die before my husband. If he
remarries right away, I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the
jewelry
Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 29, Oct 2002 2:23:32 PM IST
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