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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | jokes-- enjoy | |
| adI fresh anTE... adirindi sunItA ... kaDupu noppochchindi chadivAka... tarvAta ardhamayyindi naaku aakalavutOndani...
Posted by: Durga Prasad At: 2, Jul 2003 11:45:30 AM IST
:)
it's ok
Posted by: Mr. Sreenivasa Reddy V At: 2, Jul 2003 11:44:39 AM IST
There was this guy, John, waiting at the airport with his business associates. They were having a meeting while waiting for their flight. Right across their aisle, John sees Bill Gates waiting alone for his flight. John doesn’t tell his associates and excuses himself to the restroom.
He quietly sneaks over to Mr.Gates and says “Hi Mr.Gates. I am John Sullivan. I am seated over there with my associates. Could you please walk over to our seats after 5 minutes and say, “Hey John, good to see you again.” It’ll raise my standards among them.”
Bill Gates is amused and says, “OK.” John thanks him and goes back to his associates.
After 5 minutes, Gates walks over to John’s place and says “Hey John, good to see you again.”
John looks up irritated and says “Piss off Bill, don’t you see I am in a meeting!”
Posted by: Ms. G Sunita At: 2, Jul 2003 11:37:53 AM IST
EdO saraDakilE bAbAy , fIl kAvaddu
Posted by: Durga Prasad At: 2, Jul 2003 11:36:59 AM IST
chaaa
Posted by: Mr. Sreenivasa Reddy V At: 2, Jul 2003 11:27:39 AM IST
EnTA chaddi vAsanEstOndi ani vachchA... ikkaDO jOkundi
Posted by: Durga Prasad At: 2, Jul 2003 11:20:08 AM IST
:)
thanx aruna
Posted by: Mr. Sreenivasa Reddy V At: 2, Jul 2003 11:14:48 AM IST
joke bagundhsndee..ippativaraku chadavaledhu.
Posted by: Mrs. Aruna At: 2, Jul 2003 11:07:44 AM IST
There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.
After considerable discussion they finally decided to start a
hotel.They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the
hotel. The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first
customer.The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up.The
story was the same the next day. A week passed,but nobody turned up.
WHY ? ..........
B'coz there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed"
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto
garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon
started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car
to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day,
2 days, a week but no car came to their garage.
WHY ? ...
B'coz their garage was on the first floor.
After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi
driving.They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began
to look for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed
their taxi.They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi.
They drove to Chatrapati ShivajiTerminus, even there nobody hailed
their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai
but alas no one hailed their taxi.
WHY ?
B'coz all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi!!
All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb an decided
to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started
pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very
exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch.They decided to
rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story
repeated itself. The taxi just wouldnt move.They pushed for a whole
week but the taxi wouldnt budge.
WHY ?
B'coz two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.
Posted by: Mr. Sreenivasa Reddy V At: 2, Jul 2003 10:48:52 AM IST
Dear Employees,
Due to current financial position, economic recession and
probable future mergers, the management has decided to implement
a scheme to put all employees over 25 years of age on early
retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged
Personnel Early).
Persons selected for RAPE can apply to the management for
the SHAFT (Special Help After Forced Termination) scheme.
The situation of the employees who have been RAPED and
SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW (Scheme for Retired
Early Workers )scheme.
An employee may be RAPED only once, SHAFTED twice but may
be SCREWED as many times as the management deems appropriate.
Employees who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional
Income for Dependents and Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earning for
Retiring Personnel Early Severance). Obviously employees who
have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED by the
Management any further.
Employees on SHAFT or SCREW will receive as much SHIT
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
The management has always prided itself on the amount of
SHIT it gives to its employees. Should you feel that you do not
receive enough SHIT, please bring it to the notice of your
Manager. We have been trained to give you all the SHIT that you
can handle.
Have a nice day.
HR Department.
Posted by: Mr. Sreenivasa Reddy V At: 28, Jun 2003 12:51:18 PM IST
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