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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | paata jOkulu Revisited | |
| Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 23, Apr 2006 4:52:21 PM IST
He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital. He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse condition. Banta explained what happened to him He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied"I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".
He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".
He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up"
Daughters?". The Owner asked,"WHY?????????" Banta replied," I wanted
to stay here for a night....."
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 23, Apr 2006 4:49:24 PM IST
Hello Mr. Clinton," a heavily accented voice says."This is Santa Singh down in Chandigadh, Punjab. I amringing to inform you that I am officially declaring war onyou!"
"Well, Santa Singh," Bill replies, "This indeed is importantnews! Tell me, how big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," says Santa Singh after a momentscalculation, "There is myself, my cousin Banta Singh, mynext door neighbour Gurjinder and the entire Kabbadi teamfrom the Village. That makes 8!"
Bill sighs and says, "I must tell you Santa Singh that Ihave 1million men in my army waiting to move on my word."
"OK," says Santa Singh. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Santa Singh calls back. "Right Mr.Clinton, the war is still on! We have managed to acquiresome equipment!"
"What equipment would that be, Santa Singh?" Bill asks."Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Gill'stractor from the farm." Once more Bill sighs and says, "Imust tell you Santa Singh that I have 50,000 tanks, 2000mine layers,10,000 armored cars and my army has increased to1 and a half million since we last spoke." "I'll be dogged!"says Santa Singh. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, Santa Singh calls again the next day."Right Mr.Clinton, the war is still on! We have managed to getourselves airborne! We've gotten out old Govind's cropsprayer with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and theHockey team has joined us as well!"
Once more Bill sighs and says "I must tell you Santa Singhthat I have 4000 bombers and 8000 high maneuverabilityattack planes and my military installations are surroundedby laser guided surface to air missiles and since we lastspoke, my army has increased to 2 million."
"Oh cripes," says Santa Singh. "I'll have to ring you back."
Santa Singh calls again the next day. "Right Mr. Clinton, Iam sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.""I'm very happy to hear that," says Bill. "Why the suddenchange of heart?""Well," says Santa Singh, "We've all had a chat and to besure, there's no way we can cope with 2 million prisoners of war."
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 23, Apr 2006 4:46:39 PM IST
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University
final examination. He takes his seat in the examination
hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and
then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and
throws them out of the window. He then removes his
turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and
watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what
is going on.
Oye, I am only following the instructions
- 'Answer in brief'.
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 23, Apr 2006 4:42:54 PM IST
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy
so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees
to wake him up when the station arrived.
This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees ,
the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell
asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he
went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and
suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and
woken up someone else"
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 23, Apr 2006 4:35:41 PM IST
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees
and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your
donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I
wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have
been missing too."
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 23, Apr 2006 4:33:40 PM IST
Sardarji at Stadium :))
======================
A sardar had arrived early at the stadium for the first cricket game
of the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had
left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning,
he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another
seat.After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a
voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!"
He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the
voice-with no success.Then he realized he had lost his place in the
line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over
again.After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to
buy a coke. The line at the concession stand was also very long. But
since the game hadn't started he decided to wait. Just as he got to
the window, a voice called out"Hey, Balbir!"
Again He tried to find the voice and got out of line as he wandered
looking for the owner of the voice. But no luck.
He was very upset as he got back in line for his coke.Finally he had
his coke and took his seat eager for the game to begin. As he waited
for the first pitch, he heard the voice calling, "Hey, Balbir!" once
more.
Furious, He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs,"My name isn't
Balbir!"
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 23, Apr 2006 4:31:18 PM IST
Love Life & Indian Advertisement Lines
===============================
Want to propose a girl
Just do it - Nike
Before going to propose to a girl
Believe in the best - BPL.
If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl
Vicks ki goli lo kich kich door karo - Vicks.
If you are going to propose to a girl
Chances are 50-50 - Britannia.
If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her
Take it easy - Limca.
Girl says NO !
Jor ka jhatka dhire se lage - Mirinda.
Those who succeed in love always say
We dream because we do - Daewoo.
If some one wants to write a love letter to his girlfriend
Likho script apna apna.- Rotomac.
If you love someone
Go get it - Visa power.
Boy riding a bike with neighbor's girl
Neighbors envy owner's pride - Onida.
Not satisfied with your date
Yeh dil mangey more - Pepsi.
A guy having a number of girl friends
The Complete Man - Raymonds.
A smart girl having a number of boyfriends
Yeh hai hamara suraksha chakra - Colgate.
For those lost in love
Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera - Bagpiper Whisky.
For a guy 'r gal who hasn't yet found one
Dhoondte rehe jayo ge - Surf Exel
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 23, Apr 2006 4:17:47 PM IST
Bholas Mom's Letter
Pyaaaray Lal,
I am writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to give you the address as the last person who stayed in this house took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM SINCE.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
We got another bill from the funeral home. It said that if we don't make the last payment on GRANDMA'S FUNERAL, she will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass in the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning, I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an uncle or an aunty.
Your Uncle Herolal fell into a whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out- he rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two friends drowned as they couldn't' get the gate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love, Mom
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 23, Apr 2006 4:13:58 PM IST
see the links below
http://discussion.telugupeople.com/discussion/index.asp?board=-3&page=23&topicCode=23&tc1=&tc2=
http://discussion.telugupeople.com/discussion/index.asp?board=-3&page=27&topicCode=23&tc1=&tc2=
http://discussion.telugupeople.com/discussion/index.asp?board=-3&page=26&topicCode=23&tc1=&tc2=
http://discussion.telugupeople.com/discussion/index.asp?board=-3&page=25&topicCode=23&tc1=&tc2=
http://discussion.telugupeople.com/discussion/index.asp?board=-3&page=24&topicCode=23&tc1=&tc2=
http://discussion.telugupeople.com/discussion/index.asp?board=-3&page=22&topicCode=23&tc1=&tc2=
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 20, Mar 2006 12:02:03 PM IST
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