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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | ఆయ్ ! దేశభాషలందు తెలుగు లెస్స ! ఉభయగోదావరి | |
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"No greater force than the force of love. No man or woman can alter its course - by force, or love."
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 5, Jan 2009 4:58:24 PM IST
"Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense."
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 5, Jan 2009 4:57:06 PM IST
"Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares." William Shakespeare
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 5, Jan 2009 4:52:03 PM IST
"If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile."
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 5, Jan 2009 4:51:12 PM IST
"Strephon kissed me in the spring, Robin in the fall, But Colin only looked at me And never kissed at all. Strephon's kiss was lost in jest, Robin's lost in play, But the kiss in Colin's eyes Haunts me night and day."
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 5, Jan 2009 4:49:50 PM IST
"The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love".
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 5, Jan 2009 4:30:25 PM IST
Love-o-scope: 2009
Here's a glimpse of what 2009 has in store for your love, romance, marital and sexual life...
ARIES: Your heart meter goes up!
2009 begins with a promise of love for those in search of finding their soul mate. Your irresistible charm is at its peak! Last year's marital issues will clear up. It's a gratifying time for all kinds of relationships. The middle of the year promises a stronger bonding between partners as taking the next step comes naturally. Some of you might discuss commitment or plan babies.
Watch out: Towards the end of the year, problems might occur between lovers. Keep a tab on your ego swells, develop trust and don't pay heed to rumours.
Sex-o-scope: Your aggression needs to be converted into positive energy and passionate love to spark up your sex life.
Lovable time: 4th February to 11th April, 25th April to 6th June, 27th August to 20th September, 15th October to 8th November
TAURUS: Your romantic nature attracts the love you deserve!
Someone you recently met attracts you. There's a need for perfect discipline in your love life. Spend your free time together. As the year progresses, single parents may meet their dream partners. Towards the end of the year you want to develop a deeper commitment with the one you love.
Watch out: Getting intimate with someone other than your partner causes trouble. Don't let personal problems ruin your relationship. Some may feel being taken for granted. If so, put your foot down and turn off all favours, especially if it is not a committed relationship.
Sex-o-scope: Revamp your daily schedule to find more time for sex. Prolonged foreplay helps in feeling the depth of love making.
Lovable periods: 7th June to 5th July, 21st September to 14th October, 9th November to 1st December
Lovable time: 7th June to 5th July, 21st September to 14th October, 9th November to 1st December.
GEMINI : Serious love on the cards!
Deep and profound changes are expected in your love life. Your flirting nature provides an opportunity to explore your meaningful needs. Old relationships undergo complete reform. Lovers may turn into friends and friends may become love birds. The beginning of the year will ensure an intimate and gratifying relationship.
Watch out: The middle of the year might bring some temporary marital problems. Avoid temptations outside your relationship. You might become hasty towards the end of the year. Remember - a calm mind helps in establishing harmony. Trust your own instincts rather than going by others' decisions.
Sex-o-scope: Sexual bliss lies in seeking variety. Right from positions to places – a change is what you want. Adventure in open places helps in enjoying togetherness.
Lovable time: 4th February to 11th April, 25th April to 6th June, 27th August to 20th September, 15th October to 8th November
CANCER: Strive for balance.
New love liaisons are on the horizon. Singles can expect new proposals, also from abroad. Those already married or in a committed relationship enjoy the fruits of better understanding. Think deeply before saying, 'I do'. Divorcees might experience love once again. A vacation during the middle of the year makes you meet someone you'll be impressed with.
Watch out: Parents may oppose your marriage plans. But, towards the end of the year, all oppositions vanish.
Sex-o-scope: Body lotions and passion oil massages are tickets to excitement. If you have a swimming-pool, make the best use of it. Get into some action right there!
Lovable time: 2nd August to 26th August, 9th November to 1st December, 26th to 31st December
LEO: Excitement in your love life!
It's an excellent time to review your romantic life and to consider how to be more loving. Singles can find their soul mates in an unexpected place during the middle of the year. The time is great to go ahead with marriage plans. You will find ways and means to enhance your playfulness and woo your partner. Towards the end of the year, some may fall in love for someone you know nothing about.
Watch out: Dealing with the ups and downs of a relationship get tough. Disagreements with your spouse are likely. A married person may attract you and someone close may try to cause problems. If so, talk to your mate and try to find a private and mutually acceptable solution.
Sex-o-scope: Give your sex life a taste of luxury. Wooing your partner with utmost opulence is the need of the hour. How about planning a romantic sexapade to a lavish resort or a cottage?
Lovable period: 4th February to 11th April, 25th April to 6th June, 27th August to 20th September, 2nd December to 25th December
VIRGO: Your prospective mate realizes that you are a prize worth fighting for!
You are likely to fall in love with someone who has a way with words and can impress you with his/her charm. Towards the middle of the year, some of you need to re-connect intimately with your mate. Don't let past relationships affect what you have now. The influence of moon will help you seek new and exciting ways to transform your partnership. Committed couples experience a positive difference in their attitudes.
Watch out: Overindulgence inin your professional life leaves little time for romance and causes disharmony. Ego clashes with your mate are likely. Avoid getting involved in anyone's manipulative games. Remain as calm as possible.
Sex-o-scope: Food can be your way to pleasure. If a balanced diet keeps you healthy, gorging on aphrodisiacs will spark up the sex front!
Lovable period: 4th January to 3rd February, 12th April to 24th April, 21st September to 14th October, 26th to 31st December
LIBRA: Being possessive is not good!
Someone who shares your ideals of beauty and comfort attracts you. You may take time to get into this relationship, but it's the time to take the plunge. You're not necessarily looking for a deep, long-lasting love at the moment. Many of you already have that. This time is about thrills, excitement and adventure.
Watch out: Towards the middle of the year your marriage faces problems. Some of you may experience some differences with your partner and some of you may find your love not being reciprocated. Understand that being possessive can harm your relationship.
Sex-o-scope: To keep up the fun-quotient and stay away from boredom, get into some joint fun activities. Something like power yoga, music and dance classes drives away the boredom and gives you more regular sexual encounters.
Lovable period: 4th February to 11th April, 25th April to 6th June, 15th October to 8th November
SCORPIO: Expect the unexpected
Passionate by nature, you may feel the need to be loved and nurtured and at times feel hurt by your What does your sunsign say? (Getty Images)
partner. But, don't let it affect your relationship. Newly married couples are likely to go on a romantic trip to a serene place. Your relationship is filled with love and passion as it satisfies your emotional needs. Towards the middle of the year singles are most likely to meet someone via the Internet.
Watch out: For those already in a relationship, the first two quarters are quite crucial. You need to control your aggression during this period. Things will begin to turn better from the third-quarter.
Sex-o-scope: There's nothing left in love for Scorpions if sexual encounters are irregular. So, make sure you communicate your desires to your partner in a polite manner.
Lovable period: 4th January to 3rd February, 12th April to 24th April, 7th June to 5th July, 9th November to 1st December
SAGITARIUS: Dismiss little mishaps
You will meet someone who responds to your charm. The time is beneficial for married couples, as communication will be easy during this time. Singles should accept all invitations to social gatherings as you are expected to get a surprise that can lift your spirits. You'll have plenty to talk about and celebrate. At the end of the year, expect a gift worth cherishing all your life. A romantic foreign trip also seems to be on cards.
Watch out: Towards the middle of the year, communication becomes a bit difficult and you may have trouble understanding each other. Make your partner feel that you are there with him/her forever, or they may feel insecure. Keep a tab on your flirtatious attitude. Sex-o-scope: Change the way you make love. Don't hurry-up. Go for enough foreplay to excite your partner. Don't miss a chance to exchange a sweet dialouge during love making. Showering your partner with gifts won't be a bad option, especially gadgets that are related to communication like CDs, cell phones etc.
Lovable period: 1st to 3rd January, 6th July to 1st August, 2nd December to 25th December
CAPRICORN: A friend is likely to become someone special at this time.
Teenagers get attracted towards someone much older and this may hamper their studies. It's a good time for married couples during the middle of the year as their domestic problems disappear. Towards the end of the year, singles might enter an intimate relationship. Divorced couples will find a solution to their problems.
Watch out: Some committed couples might face ego problems, but you need to achieve a harmonious balance. The temptation to win or be right What does your sunsign say? (Getty Images)
creates tussles. Pay more attention to your partner's needs and work out your problems as soon as possible.
Sex-o-scope: Change the way you express your physical and emotional needs. Try experimenting with poetry or romantic writings. Taking cues from romantic songs and movies may boost your physical intimacy.
Lovable period: 7th June to 5th July, 2nd August to 26th August, 26th to 31st December
AQUARIUS: Your love life undergoes a positive change!
At the beginning of the year, you'll feel strongly connected with someone. There's no harm in getting hitched or engaged to this person. Some may receive multiple proposals, but may find it difficult to accept any one! Your love life undergoes a positive change, but you'll have to reassure your partner that you care. Pack your emotions in sugar coated words and present them to your partner.
Watch out: Some unhappy, married couples may indulge in an extra marital relationship. Your planets have forewarned you; beware of such temptations. At the end of the year, pressure related to work may cause some disharmony in your personal life.
Sex-o-scope: Make your partner feel like a queen or a king and be ready at his/her service in making love. Let your partner dominate in passionate moments to maximise pleasure.
Lovable period: 6th July to 1st August, 1st to 3rd January, 27th August to 20th September
PISCES: Challenges create harmony in your relationship.
Starting January, learn from your intuitive abilities about what's best for you. A person who helps you with your personal problems may end up falling in love with you. Towards the end of the year, some singles have a chance of entering into a new relationship with someone they met at a party. Those of you who are thinking about breaking up should postpone that idea for a while, as your relationship will improve soon.
Watch out: Keep a control on your emotions or your partner might hurt you. Be practical and don't take everything seriously.
Sex-o-scope: Ensure enough of private moments for you both. Making out at locations near water like a cottage near a river or lake can be good. Game for some adventure? How about getting steamy in a swimming pool?
Loveable period: 4th January to 3rd February, 12th April to 24th April, 2nd August to 26th August, 21st September to 14th October
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 2, Jan 2009 11:27:03 AM IST
Numeroscope: 2009
To begin with, do you know what your number is? Is it your birth date or the year in which you were born or some other cosmic digit? Numerologist & astrologer, Raj Khattar, explains, "The basic number of every human being is the sum of the digits of his birth date. For instance, if your birth date is November 20, the basic number is the sum of 2 and 0 i.e. 2 (2+0=2). If your date of birth is a single digit, then your number is the digit itself. For date of birth June 7, the number will be 0+7= 7."
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An important aspect of numerology is that it involves the chemistry between two people who are ruled by two different numbers. "So, if you are looking forward to impress your boss, beloved or buddy, finding out their number and doing things that suit or impress them can also help," suggests Astrologer & Numerologist, Bhavesh Pattni of GaneshaSpeaks team.
So, if you have calculated your number, we offer you a peep into the future, according to numerology together with some tips from the experts to help you in making the most of the number game:
Number 1
You are #1 if your date is: 1, 10, 19 and 28
People born under this number possess strong leadership qualities, they buzz with optimism, but are ego worshippers at the same time. They have a soft interior shielded within a tough exterior. Flatter them with the choicest of words, show them that you exist because they are with you, let them know that no one suits you better than them and your #1 partner will shower you with all the love and care in the world.
Love-meter: It's going to be a conflict free, romantic year for those born under Number One. Singles will find partners and those already in a relationship will have a smooth sailing across the year.
Sex-meter: When a conflict free, romantic year lies ahead, you can't expect your sex life to be boring. You are set to have many steaming and sizzling sexapades in the coming year.
Career-meter: Those in business will experience harmony and gains, after a not-so-great year gone by, while those in jobs can look forward to a change for the better. Atmosphere at the work place is co-operative.
Love-Tip: Act generously when it comes to giving gifts to your partner.
Career-Tip: Avoid wearing black. Pray in a temple located in the Eastern direction of your city. You need to take a lot of initiative at your work place.
Favourable numbers: 2, 4
Favourable colour: Amber/Orange
Number 2
You are #2 if your date is: 2, 11, 20, and 29
Mood swings are common with number 2's. Sensitive souls, #2's tend to fall in love easily. They are imaginative and romantic at heart.
Love-meter: Romance is in the air, so married couples have a reason to be happy. As far as singles are concerned, keep a tab on your mood swings and you'll be able to enjoy romance to the fullest.
Sex-meter: Don't let the ups and downs in your mood affect your sex life; else it will be tough for your partner to adjust causing a dip in the action between the sheets.
Career-meter: You have a tendency to become very pessimistic and this can affect your career. New opportunities arise on the horizon, so check them out with an open mind.
Love-Tip: Express yourself in the best possible manner and as much as you can to your partner. Communication is the key to success in love life.
Career Tip: Drinking water in a silver glass and keeping a silver coin in your pocket (not leather wallet) can help. Listen to your favourite music, avoid wearing darker shades and try your hand at travel or consultation business. Taking special care of your mother will always be of help.
Favourable numbers: 5, 6
Favourable colour: White
Number 3
You are #3 if your date is: 3, 12, 21, and 30
They are notorious for acting impulsively and then thinking. Impulsive is Check out how your number fares in 2009. (Getty Images)
the adjective that suits them best. Extrovert and outgoing, number 3's have a rocking social life.
Love-meter: Not a very great year for number 3's. New relationships need to be dealt with the utmost care or falling into a trap is on the cards.
Sex-meter: No matter how much you strive for, your sexual life fails to hit the pinnacle of satisfaction.
Career-meter: It's heart-breaking, but no miracles in your career as well. You'll have to struggle this year.
Love-Tip: Avoid preaching to your partner; rather take advice from him/her. Go for some joint activities.
Career-Tip: Wearing yellow attracts good luck. You need a guru to guide you. Don't hesitate in seeking advice from seniors at your work place.
Favourable numbers: 6, 9
Favourable colour: Yellow
Number 4
You are #4 if your date is: 4, 13, 22, and 31
Straight-forward by nature, number 4's are ambitious and desire to carve a niche of their own. A little dry when it comes to romance, 4's are very emotional.
Love-meter: An average year for the married number 4's, 2009 is full of confusion and surprises for single people. A year that can make or mar a relationship, 2009 is going to be a deciding year for the love fate of #4's.
Sex-meter: It's tough to relish the fruits of a sexual communion, until and unless you plan holidays from time to time.
Career-meter: Go-getters by nature, #4's are not content with their career graph this year.
Love-Tip: Refrain from getting aggressive towards your partner and keep surprising him/her to keep them glued.
Career- Tip: Wear cat's eye gem. Watching horror and suspense thrillers is good for you. Clean your home on your own, specially the bathroom, toilet and corners in the house.
Favourable numbers: 1, 2
Favourable colour: Black
Number 5
You are #5 if your date is: 5, 14, and 23
Happy-go-lucky, number 5's are cheerful people who enjoy life to the hilt. They are accommodating by nature, so they are endearing to those around them.
Love-meter: Freshness in old relationships is predicted. This might be good news for those yearning for love. Your ex's knock on your doors again, but expecting the same for those settled in relationships predicts disasters. Chances of an old flame getting intimate again is on the cards, so remain guarded about your instincts, else an extra-marital relationship can ruin your love-bliss.
Sex-meter: Think out-of-the-box as innovative ideas are what can spice up your sex life.
Career-meter: Number 5s have all the reason to enjoy the fruits of their hard work as their career will shine in the year to come. Finance is the field that beckons you the most.
Love tip: Connecting with your partner at an intellectual level is beneficial. Play with words and you'll always be surrounded with love.
Career Tip: Wear a ruby stone set in gold. Try your hands at professions which involve reading and writing. Eat a small amount of moong dal daily.
Favourable numbers: 2, 5 and 6
Favourable colour: Green
Number 6
You are #6 if your date is: 6, 15, and 24
Elegance is what describes a number 6 the best. It won't be wrong to tag them Check out how your number fares in 2009. (Getty Images)
as enticers and charmers, since no one around escapes their innate grace.
Love-meter: Your love life is like a rose sans thorns. Married, in love or searching for love, peace and calmness rules your heart.
Sex-meter: Don't expect any explosions of passion, but this doesn't necessarily indicate an absolutely dull and cold sex life.
Career-meter: New opportunities are on the horizon and grabbing them only propels your growth chart.
Love -Tip: Using scents and perfumes keeps your love life pep-ed up! Keep the romance alive by watching romantic movies.
Career-Tip: Talking to the opposite sex in office helps, while seeking advice from women irrespective of your sex is also suggested.
Favourable numbers: 2, 5
Favourable colours: White and pink
Number 7
You are #7 if your date is: 7, 16, and 25
They are the ones who take the world by storm with their innovative and out-of-the-box ideas. Number 7's are also famous for their flirtatious and playful demeanour.
Love-meter: Good news for the single number 7's, 2009 strengthens the scope of new relationships. Expect proposals that may turn into lasting unions.
Sex-meter: The golden rule is to hit a peak of sexual gratification by introducing freshness in your sexual approach. Try new techniques to spice up nights of passion.
Career-meter: 2009 comes with an assurance of progress for number 7's. It may be a little slow, but you taste success soon.
Love-Tip: Visit sacred places with your partner.
Career-Tip: Say 'no' to alcohol in the New Year and cultivate a habit of drinking a good amount of water. Wear brightly coloured clothes.
Favourable number: 2, 7
Favourable colours: Light brown and off-white
Number 8
You are #8 if your date is: 8, 17, and 26
Most of the times misunderstood by peers, number 8's are 'destiny's Check out how your number fares in 2009. (Getty Images)
children'. Ups and downs rule the roost for people who are born under number 8.
Love-meter: Knocking at old relationships emerges fruitful for the single number 8's as you can find your partner in the people who you may have met in the past. But, when these old flames try to re-ignite fire in the lives of married number 8's, chaos is unavoidable. So, watch out!
Sex-meter: Your routine sex life keeps a normal pace, gratifying you both.
Career-meter: Number 8's should be ready to embrace changes in their professional careers with open arms. Just remember, whatever happens, it is for the best.
Love-Tips: Since you're easily misunderstood, make sure your partner realises the efforts you are putting into doing something for him/her. Instead of preaching, show that you care from your heart. Being expressive goes a long way.
Career-Tips: Don't dabble in speculation. You should take special care of elderly people. Take their advice and if possible start visiting an old-age home on weekends.
Favourable number: 1, 2
Favourable colour: Black & saffron
Number 9
You are #9 if your date is: 9, 18, and 27
Generous at heart and faithful in relationships, that's number 9 for you!
Love-meter: Do not expect wonders on the love front. Your name can be associated with multiple lovers during the year. So, be careful or you can cause harm to your reputation.
Sex-meter: 'Sinfully blessed' is how 2009 will be for the sex life of number 9's. Sexual communion can't get better than this for you!
Career-meter: Good news is that bygones are bygones this year, as career is on an ascendant.
Love-Tips: Ensure that your loved one believes that you are creative. Your success lies in creativity.
Career-Tips: Participate in an outdoor sport or work-out. Remain calm and convert your aggression into creativity. Try to complete every task you take up and avoid indulging in others' matters.
Favourable number: 2, 6
Favourable colour: Red
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 2, Jan 2009 11:17:10 AM IST
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h40/tpcom/Happy-New-Year-tpcom.jpg
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 1, Jan 2009 11:32:17 AM IST
aay ! richhaalO kuusuni kunupaaTlu paDutunna
ammay gOrikii
mari migataa pejalandarikee kuuDaa
nuutana samvatsara subaakaanchalu!
Very happy ,prosperous and successful new year!
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h40/tpcom/Happy-New-Year.jpg
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 1, Jan 2009 10:25:09 AM IST
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