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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | ~~SHARE A JOKE~~ | |
| Application Form To Be Filled For Contesting Indian Elections:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Name of Candidate : _______________________
2. Present Address
(i) Name of Jail : _______________________
(ii) Cell Number : _______________________
3. Political Party : _______________________
(List ONLY the Last Five parties in the Chronological (Order)
4. Sex: [ ]
A - Male
B - Female
C - Mayawati
5. Nationality: [ ]
A - Italian
B - Indian
6. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A - Defected
B - Expelled
C - Bought out
D - None of above
E - All of above
7. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A - To make money
B - To escape court trial
C - To grossly misuse power
D - To serve the public
E - I have no clue
(if you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized Government Psychiatrist)
8. How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A - 1-2 yrs
B - 2-6yrs
C - 6-15yrs
D - 15+yrs
9. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many Additional Sheets as you want)
10. How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ](Do not confuse with question 8)
A - 1-2 years
B - 2-6 years
C - 6-15 years
D - 15+years
11. Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A - Why not
B - Of Course
C - Definitely
D - I deny it all
E - I see a foreign hand.
12. What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A - 100-500 Crores
B - 500-1000 Crores
C - Overflow...
(Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc to Rupees)
13. Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind? [ ]
A - No
B - No
C - No
D - No
14. Describe your achievements in space provided: [_________]
Thumb Impression of candidate
(Not that of the person who filled the form)
Posted by: Ms. Mallika Reddy At: 31, Oct 2003 9:24:52 PM IST
Internet Joke
Customer: "I want to download the Internet. Do I need a bigger hard disk?"
To download the Internet
http://www.w3schools.com/downloadwww.htm
Posted by: Raj Sekhar At: 31, Oct 2003 1:33:29 PM IST
baabOy rowd^i paaripOvaali ikkad^inunchi
Posted by: Mrs. Saila Sarigala At: 31, Oct 2003 11:51:27 AM IST
People say New Yorkers can't get along.Not true.Isaw two New Yorkers,complete strangers,sharing a cab.One guy took the tyres and the radio;the other guy took the engine.
Posted by: Mrs. Saila Sarigala At: 31, Oct 2003 11:11:01 AM IST
Lolz..@Mallika
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 31, Oct 2003 3:38:56 AM IST
papam nuvu adhi alochinchi alochinchi shoonyam ayyavu @ Dr.Yotz
Posted by: Ms. Mallika Reddy At: 30, Oct 2003 10:56:12 PM IST
Q - Prasad asks Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar. why ??
Ans: Tendulkar is an opener
**********************************
Three inventions of Santa the great Scientist...
1. A night torch that works with solar cell.
2. A wheel chair with pedals.
3. A book on how to read.
*************************************
Santa's friend was telling him -- Yaar maine suna hai America mai to aajkal Email se bhi Shaadi hoti hai
Santa puzzled, says -- Yaar hamare yaha to female se hoti hai........
*************************************
Jo Dil ka dard deta hai , use Dildaar kehte hain ;
Jo Sar ka dard deta hai , use Sardaar kehte hain !
Posted by: Ms. Mallika Reddy At: 30, Oct 2003 10:47:08 PM IST
Mr.MR this is nothing ur still in kindergarten u have to learn much more..lease contact ur Lord Osama Bin Laden.
Posted by: Ms. Mallika Reddy At: 30, Oct 2003 10:43:57 PM IST
lol
Posted by: Raj Sekhar At: 30, Oct 2003 10:06:48 PM IST
Many people must be aiming for higher studies in U.S or U.K.
following r some of the reputed institutes in Pakistan, the courses offered by them and their Entrance tests.
IIT: Islamic Institute of Terrorism
(Through JEE: Jehadi Entrance Exam-----coaching for JEE will be offered only in Kashmir and not in any Ramaiah or Krishnamurthy)
IIM: International Infiltration Management
(Through CAT:Careers in Al-Quaeda & Taliban-----------guarenteed foreign placement)
IAS: Iraq After Saddam
(This is a research course established with the Aid of CNN-America and not many placement opportunities)
M.M.Tech.: Masters in Militancy Techniques
(Through GATE: Graduate Aptitude Test in EXTREMISM-----This is a post-graduate course equivalent to Indian M.Tech. Only for the Engineers
graduated from IITs)
M.S: Musharraf's Security
(Highly competitive and equally paid service through GRE: Grooming the Rising Extremists and TOEFL: Test Of Efficiency In Fighting and Looting)
Interested candidates can obtain further details and prospectus free from the following addresses:
The Head, ISI, Karachi.
The Head, LeT, Lahore.
The Head, JeM, Peshawar.
The Headless Head (alias Musharraf)
Military Ruler Of Pakistan, Islamabad
Posted by: Ms. Mallika Reddy At: 30, Oct 2003 10:03:35 PM IST
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