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General Forum: Current 'Affairs' | | varakatnam | |
| Varakatnam is an evil prevalent in some parts of A.P. amonst some families and it should be denounced. I performed marriage of my two daughters without dowry and I have not thought of any dowry ang got my son married. Parents should feel the evil of varakatnam.
subbarao.
Posted by: subbarao bhagavatula At: 2, Mar 2002 3:06:09 AM IST
I am sorry to say that you are in the same trap and in the same thinking same as dowry supportes. One things is that, one who does a mistake always thinks that he is not doing any mistake. Ok, money is importnat and ours is a poor society, where girls normally won't earn money.
But what about other parts of country, where they don't take dowries.
What is the problem with the house wife? She does take care of everything you need, except may be for the money. Ask in USA for these comforts, and see how much they cost you.
If the girl's father is enough rich and he wanted to give something to her, that is fine. Now what we have not exactly this.
I guess, to better realize you should have a sister, who is good natured, bright, beautiful. And just because you don't have money, now you have look for a stupid who takes less money.
I don't mean to hurt your personal feelings. My intention is to strongly say that Evil is an evil let us accept.
Posted by: Mr sankara rao bhogi At: 1, Mar 2002 9:08:30 AM IST
Can I help you to look things from a different perspective....
When I asked a similar question to my dad the answer he gave was:
Well, the way a girl wants to have a husband who earns well && can provide her a comfortable life, the guy also thinks that the girl he is going to marry must have 'some things'.
Most of the girls argue, the guys at the most can look for an understanding/caring wife etc etfc but should not expect any thing related to money from a girl. But in a society like us where there is so much of poverty and belief that money can make lot of differences, can even an idealistic guy think in such a way?????
when it is the era where girls are going out earning money, does the arguement that guys should not expect money from girls but just some kind of house wife valid????
Even if a girl enters a house without anything of her own money, can she be economically independent???? Without the dowry she takes along with her, the only option left will be to beg before her husband for every penny....
How many of the girls and their parents ready for begging stuffs???
This last one is a strong argument given by daughters' fathers who want their daughter never to feel economically insecure. Dowry gives the economic independence to a girl.
when it was some years back the story was completely different. A role of a wife in the family changed from a gaurdian of her children && husband to more tough positions like managing things outside the house too.
And dont you think, even the guys these days are given 'dowry' by their parents???? yes, the moment they get married many of the parents are giving them what all they can give. Earlier, property to guy was handed over only after the parents death. But these days there is a change in the way parents view.
The moment a child gets married irrespective of whether it is a girl or a guy parents are giving off all they plan to give. And this is a good idea because we need some investment to start a new family. It has to come in some form.
well, things look as if there is no flaw in the above argument.....but the trap is that, we have been looking the life only from the economic point of view. We have been assuming that money is the first && foremost part of life.....
If you are a person for whom money is not important ......."dowry" looks like a evil.
It was an evil earlier not now a days. Because the very way the money is spent is different.
Dont expect you wife to bring all the money and give it to you :-). those days are gone...now the girls can manage their money. How many of the wifes give the money to their husbands which they bought as dowry????? not even housewifes give that money. They have them as a life term insurance. say, every year they get money out of land or they generally put it in bank and get intrest. they use them for their personal needs :-). people are not that innocent :-).
So even if money were given as dowry, in no way that the parents of the husband or someone else can use it.
(Movies show you a very different scenary... believe me, particularly in these five years the girls are at an advantage.. as it were in 1975-80 the techniques of scanning became popular and girls were killed mercilessly before they were born....now there is a scarcity for girls.This will go on for atleast 7 yrs and after that, we know the kind of generation that is going to be out. Exploiting those girls will not be easy. Girls are in a very safe cocoon.)
This money is what that gives the girl confidence. She is economically independent.
all these type of thinking is for the people who can afford the dowry race. Who can buy the guy they want adn who has money in store. what about girl's parents who can afford this. There is nothing they can do, make the girl learn how to live on her own. She may not get a rich husband but she must be in a position to make up all she wants. Its natural, when girl has 100rs, the way she looks for a husband having 200rs...the guy also will look for a girl who can hive him atleast 100rs if not 200rs.
Conceptioally its not wrong but if that were taken as a means to exploit...I guess the girls have grown up to handle things on their own atleast in these aspects.
The concept of dowry in the present day situations doesn't make much sense. Because there are lot of things that are changed. More importantly is the role of the wife in a family and the attitude of a girl who doesn't want to tbe economically dependent on someone else.
The Girl.
Posted by: Ms Samatha G At: 1, Mar 2002 8:50:11 AM IST
well the question here is wheather we support it or not ..... i feel as arranged marriages play major role in our culture our parents should not support this dowry culture but unfortunatly many parents (of girls too) thiks dowry as sign of status and i know many girls who don't wann give dowry but they expect dowry for there brother's ... and i think in dowry case mostly women is the enemy of women .... i came to know that in some castes the sisters of boy who is getting married will get a share in the dowry .... so the sisters definatly want there brother to take dowry ... and as of i know dowry system is spread a lot only in south india and that too in AP a lot ........it's nice to build a dowry less andhra but that is possible only with women of andhraa..
Posted by: Mr. Ravi At: 28, Feb 2002 0:53:49 AM IST
Lavanya,
If you can tell for sure that, you won't marry a guy who takes dowry. We will be bit closer to the dowryless andhra. I hate dowry.
Posted by: Mr sankara rao bhogi At: 27, Feb 2002 7:48:04 PM IST
I SUPPORT THIS DOWRY SYSTEM. ANY FURTHER DISCUSSIONS ARE WELCOME
Posted by: Mr VENKATESWARA REDDY G At: 27, Feb 2002 5:33:35 PM IST
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