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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Soft Humor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
| ***Top 21 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US"***
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health
conscious.
19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of
Seven Zero Four)
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every
time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts
in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible
(but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y
Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says "Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is
experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by
which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to
roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one
1. Tries to begin conversation with
"In US ...." or "When I was in US..."
Posted by: Mr. Ram Tangirala At: 25, Apr 2005 2:52:45 PM IST
**This could be called as a PJ than a J**
Haathi Weds Machchharni!
Ek baar ek Haathi (male) aur ek Machchharni ( female) mein pyaar ho jata hai.
Dono ka affair bahut dino tak chalta hai. Sab log bate karne lagte hain.
Akhir sharmakar, Machchharni, Haathi se bolti hai "Abhi hum dono ko shaadi kar leni
chahiye ..duniya wale bahut bate karne lage hain... mera jeena mushkil ho gaya hain."
Machchharni ke ghar vale mana kar dete hain shaadi se.....
Now the question for you is "Kyon?"
Guess
.
.
.
Socho Socho
.
.
Woh kehte hain ki Ladke ke Daanth bahar nikle huye hain…
Par pyar kiya to darna kya...
Ab dono ko bhagkar shaadi karni hai...
Isliye dono Marriage Registrar ke yahan application dete hain aur ek mahine baad registered marriage karte hain...
Phir dono honeymoon ka plan karte hain...
Dono Kerala jate hai (with Kesari Tours)...
Honeymoon hone ke baad jab doosre din subah Haathi ki aakh khulti hai to dektha hai ki bechari Machchharni mar gayi hai...
yes...she is dead...;-)
Now the question for you is "Kyon?"
Guess...
Stress your brain,
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............
.. the answer is...
..
Because, Hathi raat ko "Good Knight" laga ke sota hai.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha... **(i know u dont laugh, jus a fwd n cudnt resist posting--nannu tittaddu)**
Posted by: Mr. Ram Tangirala At: 25, Apr 2005 2:42:05 PM IST
VIRUS ALERT
There is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propogated through the email system. If you get an email message with the subject: "VIRUS ALERT!" do not open the mail message. If you do, the virus scrambles the second half of every text file on your system.
VERY IMPORTANT: If you do get this virus, the first thing dlkfjaid
dfdjas nairb gfdq40wt yaj asdfsdg dluog av da[agj asdfajpg as
dflasidffnm asd difvu asdfa vgoiae vdsofj we dasdf 9efm sd dag0 g adf
jdl5gkj dkllj djf hsas9kaj kuieh nx3glkj gkdls kd li8siue ghkld hks1
as dg 0vbwe ads gwefawe ads vewerwe dsf!
Posted by: ★Vinåyåkåm★ chitt♥♥r At: 23, Apr 2005 11:50:57 AM IST
:)
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical
malfunction disabled all of aircraft's electronic navigation and communication
equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his
position or course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritted
sign and held it in the helicopter's window.
The sign said "WHERE AM I"? in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large
sign an held it in a building window. The sign said, "YOU ARE IN A
HELICOPTER".
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determined the course to steer
to SEATAC ( Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE
IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The pilot responded, "
I knew that had to be the Microsoft building because they gave me a
technically correct but completely useless answer".
Posted by: ★Vinåyåkåm★ chitt♥♥r At: 23, Apr 2005 11:43:42 AM IST
cheppEy vamSI :) asalE meeTing unnadi inkO araganTalO .. idE aalOchistuu unTaa
EmanadI intakI sOmaaliyaa pilli ?
banny :P (as a tester ga nenu aa maatram aalochinchoddu :P)
Posted by: Mrs. ♪ ♪ music ♪ ♪ At: 19, Apr 2005 11:51:59 PM IST
exactly :) u r right :)
and tester always thinks in different manner( if client has 2 woman and 2 man ) :P
Posted by: Mrs. ♪ ♪ music ♪ ♪ At: 19, Apr 2005 11:23:49 PM IST
banny :)
What about the tester ?
Posted by: Mrs. ♪ ♪ music ♪ ♪ At: 19, Apr 2005 10:46:26 PM IST
ha Si-taara, I thought u wud say my pin is "3298"...that really is my pin lekin khaali pin jaanne se kya hoga right? ;)
Posted by: Mr. Rahul Siddharth At: 26, Feb 2005 4:09:39 AM IST
A judge irritated by a lawyer's behavior, admonished him, "You are crossing the limits."
"Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai," roared the lawyer.
"How dare you call me saala ? I'll have you charged for contempt of court'," said the judge angrily.
"My lord misunderstood me," replied the lawyer coolly, "I do not call you saala, all I said was kaun sa law aisa kehta hai...!!!
Posted by: Murali za az At: 26, Feb 2005 1:41:45 AM IST
Husband and wife are in a romantic mood and husband becomes this emotional and tells his wfie "darling, I love you so much.I can walk up to the end of this earth to do anything for you."
Wife goes "would you please stay there forever?"
Posted by: Mr. Rahul Siddharth At: 25, Feb 2005 7:19:23 PM IST
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