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General Forum: Love | | Marriage - Conditional or Unconditional love -- Part 2 | |
| Hi Again,
Clueless, I can understand telugu and read telugu perfectly well. But, when it comes to expressing something, its more comfortable for me in English. But, I speak very good telugu. Hope this answers your question.
Srinivas,
My finacee is not a telugu guy. I thought language wouldnot be an issue if the foundation is based on trust and love. We have strong feelings for each other and I am sure, thats more important to make any relationship to work. Ofcourse, we now have Gemini and Teja at home and I try to translate some of the movies we watch together and he is interested at learning new things in life. Even if he doesn't learn, thats the last thing that I would be worried about. you may be right to certain extent about the language. But, we can live with it.
Posted by: Ms. tapana raaga At: 20, Oct 2004 0:48:27 AM IST
My mistake. I was under the impression, people who hang around in tp are telugu people.
Priya, It is very difficult to convert some of the stuff I wrote below in Telugu to English. I will try. :)
Every year my company let go some folks based on their performance. Whenever I attend these mangement meetings and my boss brings up this layoff thingy, I cuss him in Telugu. All I was tring to tell below was that if the both the couple speaks same language, it is easier to communicate versus communicating in other languages. In case you are wondering, I will not be effected by these layoffs and it is my 10th year with this company. :)
Posted by: Mr. Srinivas Turlapati At: 20, Oct 2004 0:12:38 AM IST
haha priyz, asking for the moral is a lawyer kinda ques? I was just lost what the conclusion is, if it is related to the topic! :P
tapana, do you know telugu? I dont remember you responding to any of the telugu messages...or maybe u did!
Posted by: చంటోడు At: 20, Oct 2004 0:04:09 AM IST
It's none of my bees wax, but I'm curious to know if your fiancee is a telugu guy or not. endukanTe^ manaku kashTam vachchinappuDu evarito^nayinaa cheppuko^vaalsi vaste^ mana maatRu bhaashalo^ cheppukunTe^ unDe^ haayi para bhaashalo^ unDadane^ naa nammakam I can give some examples from my real life. Once in a while when I go home after work, my little one comes running to me crying and says naannaa, akka naa juTTu peekindi Both my kids were born here and go to school. They speak English most of the times kaani manasuku kashTam vachchinappuDu vaaLLu telugu lo^ cheputaaru Indians who live in US have to speak in English most of the times in office. In my office Upper management is preparing their layoff list since it is the last quarter. Sometimes when I sit in my Boss's office and he talks about layoff naa manasu automatic gaa vaaDini telugu lo^ tiDutundi. "dunnapotulaa tinTaaDu, chali puTTi chastunTe^ veeDu maatram pandi kakkinaTTu chemaTlu kakkutunnaaDu, mundu veeDini peekaali asalu kampeni nunchi sagam daridram vadulutundi" ani.
Anyway I hope you enjoy whoever you are with.
All the best.
Posted by: Mr. Srinivas Turlapati At: 19, Oct 2004 11:51:58 PM IST
Thanks for all those that wished me good luck.
And Ananth, I don't think woman’s love is conditional. Neither man’s love for that matter. If you are trying to step into a bond, there is no meaning for love, if it is conditional. If it goes towards conditional, then you could easily guess that something is going wrong in the relationship and both partners should try to analyze the situation and fix the problem. That’s my 2 cents.
And Clueless,
I am not trying to pass on any message or moral through my story. I will be happy if my story can give some inspiration and moral support for at least few people out there who probably might be facing even tougher challenges in life.
Thanks all once again!!
Posted by: Ms. tapana raaga At: 19, Oct 2004 11:46:05 PM IST
All's well that ends well!
So, whats the message and moral of the story here...this new marriage will have conditional/unconditional love?
Posted by: చంటోడు At: 19, Oct 2004 11:29:27 PM IST
A wise woman builds her life with the bricks
that adversity throws at her.
Happy ending. (I am wishing all the best to >>>> Ms.Tapana raaga.)
Posted by: Jasmine Meera At: 19, Oct 2004 9:53:23 PM IST
SuBham:
go to my profile note the address.send the invitation.
c u in the function hall bye.
Posted by: ★Vinåyåkåm★ chitt♥♥r At: 19, Oct 2004 9:23:47 PM IST
Alright, here I go with my next part. When I started writing this, I wasn’t sure if I am going to be able to put my experiences into words. I am not a writer or never submitted anything on the discussion boards. I read couple of articles on this website and have seen some decent and of course, intelligent people taking part in the discussions and decided to give my experiences a word and see if I can do it. I always wanted to share it with people and see if it can be of any help or motivation for them.
After trying for 5 or 6 months in India for his treatment, trying to save my marriage, I gave up and came back to USA and applied for divorce and got it in less than 3 months. I revoked his petition for Green card along with divorce as I don’t want him to come to USA and create any further problems in my future life. At the last conversation we had back in India, I felt like I was being used for his stay in USA and for all the comforts. It seemed like they were concerned about USA more than my life. I had left my wonderful job before I went to India. So, I had revoked the petition and moved to a new place and found a new job. I started my new life in new surroundings, new friends and new strength, attitude and outlook.
I gained lot of weight during my x-marriage due to stress and ignoring about myself. So, I decided to concentrate and start it from there. I used to see a different me in the mirror and used to sympathize myself. I lost all my confidence and I was totally a different person at the end of my x-marriage. My life has taken an opposite angle after my marriage with my x-husband. So, I joined aerobics classes and gained some stamina and made couple of nice friends who has similar interests. We hanged out in the evenings after the class and that helped to put me back on social track which I totally lost during my 5.5 yrs of x-marriage. I am a social person myself and believed that it would help the person to grow mentally while exchanging ideas and talking to people. It boosts our confidence and helps us to grow as a complete person. Anyway, these friends of mine are from different backgrounds and its fun to hang out with them learning about them. Once I gained some stamina and energy, I joined the gym and started exercising more. That has given me more friends and more motivation. Added, I also started feeling confident once again in my life.
People started to notice the change in my weight and I started feeling happy, confident and courageous. I am slowly moving back to where my life has taken a turn, the place where I left my life. Within 3 months, I lost about 30 pounds mostly with exercising. The work out has also helped me to gain mental happiness and confidence along with shedding all the extra pounds. I never have cried one time after I started my new life. To be honest, I did 3 or 4 times, when I watched sentimental Indian movies and felt kind of alone. When I felt alone, I used to go to a local Indian temple and watched the crowd and felt normal again. My attitude towards life is “it’s my life, it went in a wrong direction and it’s my responsibility to bring it back to normal track”. I took it as a challenge and completely got back to normal me. I used to keep myself busy with activities after work. I took Spanish classes, dance classes, soccer, swimming lessons and played base ball with my friends. Those made me look at the life in a new dimension. I have made new friends as I went to new classes and my social circle kept on growing and I never did regret for the decision I took in my life. I also enrolled for GMAT classes as I want to take my Business Administration degree. I became more outgoing, out spoken and courageous as I move on with my life. I have set my priorities and goals and started working for it.
After a year or year and half, I decided, I need to have someone in my life to fill that emptiness in one corner. I was talking to one of my best friend and he suggested me to try Indian matrimonial websites. I was very reluctant to do it. But again I decided to give it a try before I rule it out. I posted my profile on one of the Indian matrimonial website. This time, I don’t want to completely depend on my parents, not that I don’t trust their judgment, but, I thought I am matured enough to deal with it on my own. I want to know the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake which I have done before, not knowing exactly what I want before marriage. This time, I have a clear perception of what I want and what I am looking for in a partner. I don’t have any family in USA who could help me with matrimonial related stuff and I know I have to take care of myself. I got lot of emails into my inbox from the matrimonial website. Some of them were eliminated at the first mail phase as they don’t sound right in the first email itself. Some have gone little further and we exchanged phone numbers and talked and some of them were eliminated at the first conversation phase. They are definitely not someone I am looking for. They can probably make a great partner for someone, but not for me. I am looking for someone who is more confident and capable of dealing with any kind of situations in life with dignity and ease. Not someone who runs away from simple challenges in life. Someone who can understand that life is full of challenges at every turn, and who is smart enough to deal with them. Someone who is not afraid to speak their mind and blah blah blah. Anyway, I also met weird guys who have asked me how much I make, how much I saved and they are definitely no-no for me. I met funny, crazy, scary, intelligent guys. But, nothing has really worked out for me due to several various reasons. I tried for almost 6 months and slowly loosing confidence in the internet search.
One fine day, as a last try, I have sent my contact to 4 guys on the website and decided to end my search. 3 of them got back to me and they did not suit me. I got 4th email from the guy and since I already decided to end my search and reading his profile it did not sound to me that he would be interested in me. So, I did not bother to reply back. He emailed me after 3 days and then I decided to be courteous and answer him instead of being quiet. So, I decided to give a last try with this guy. We started communicating over emails and as we went on emailing, we noticed that we have similar thoughts about life. We exchanged phone numbers and the more we talked with each other, the more we found interesting things about each other. Meanwhile, I have to take vacation and go to India and my parents registered the profile with some local matrimonial office and they started bringing up some proposals. I told my parents to leave the decision to me this time and I would like to know the person better before I take any step. They are nicest parents one could have and they have supported my decision. I came back from vacation and we both decided to meet in person. We met in my place and we both are matured enough to understand that looks are not the only criteria to be attracted to someone (and of course, we both are good looking which is something that we did not look for) and inner beauty is something that’s more important to look for. We were attracted to each other at intellectual level and he asked me if I could move to his place where he lived so we could live close to each to other and understand each other and also avoid our expensive flight tickets. We met couple of times and I saw his point. Its not fair for me to ask him move as his family is all based in his place and so, I decided to move there and soon found a job. After 4 months of my move, he proposed me and we were engaged. We are getting married in another month in India. This is the best thing that happened in my life. I finally met a wonderful person who can see and appreciate me for what I am. My past is never a question and we are having a happy time together. He is very sensible and responsible. My wait has finally paid off and, I can say that my life is more meaningful with my fiancée now.
So, not every man is like my x, there are few people who look at woman for substance rather than at the material level. When, I took the hardest decision in my life, I never thought that I would remarry. My only thought is to come out of the situation and be happy on my own. But, today, I am totally a different person with more open mind and ready to take what life has to offer and learn from every day.
I wish you all good luck with you lives and try to make every moment of life yours.
Posted by: Ms. tapana raaga At: 19, Oct 2004 8:37:50 PM IST
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