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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | Just 4 Laughs ;)) | |
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abba ! navaratnaaluu raalutunnaTTundanDi !
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 15, Apr 2006 4:40:58 PM IST
A mother eager to teach her small son good manners told him one day to offer his seat to any lady if he finds one standing in the bus.
A few days later the son came back and complained to his mother that a lady had slapped him in the bus to whom he had offered his seat.
Mother: How insolent these ladies have become now a days...
by the way where were you sitting, son
Son: On my father's lap...
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 15, Apr 2006 4:24:17 PM IST
ni^ko^ manchi Subhavaarta! annaaru sarkil` inaspecTar`
e^miTisaar` adi aDigaaDu heD`kaanisTe^bul`
ni^ku es.i.gaa pramo^shan` vachchindi cheppaaDu sarkil`
chaalaa thaanks saar` annaaDu santo^shamgaa
ante^kaadu Traan`sfar` ku^Daa che^saaru annaaDu si.ai.
ekkaDiki saar`? aDigaaDu anumaanamgaa....
naksalaiTla praantaaniki! badulu cheppaaDu challagaa!
Posted by: Mr. Bhaskar At: 14, Apr 2006 10:05:03 PM IST
Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote:(
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote:)
Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai
Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha
Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye
Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge
Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap
Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage
Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran
Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss:)
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss:(
Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma
Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky
Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?
Shaadi se pehle - Biviho to es
Shaadi ke baad - Bivi hai kesi ?
Shaadi se pehle - Hero No. 1
Shaadi ke baad - Cooli No. 1
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 14, Apr 2006 2:44:16 PM IST
One evening, a very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant patiently awaiting her date.
While waiting, she decided to make sure that she looked perfect for him.
So the young lady bends down in her chair in order to get a mirror from her purse. Then just as the waiter walks up, she accidentally farts quite loudly.
The lady immediately sat up straight, embarrassed and red faced, sure that everyone in the place had heard her.
Quickly she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop That!"
The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady. Which way was it headed?"
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 14, Apr 2006 2:25:11 PM IST
Relationship Between Office & Bollywood Films
Pentium IV and Pentium III : Bade Miyan Chhote Miyan.
For an Employee who signs a Bond : Bandhan.
For an Employee who works Sincerely : Dil Se.
For an Employee who is ready to leave his Job : Doli Saja Ke Rakhna.
A Project having two Project Leader : Ek Phool Do Mali.
An Employee without Accommodation : Pardesi Babu.
Super User Password : Gupt.
An Employee who is in Company for more than Three Years : Amar Prem.
Bill Gates : Hum Se Badhkar Kaun.
An Employee on Probation : Paying Guest.
Ctrl + Alt + Del : Aakhri Raasta.
An Employee who frequently changes the Company : Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi.
Backup : Jagte Raho.
Dos & Windows : Do Raaste.
Internet : Door Gagan Ki Chhav Mein.
Opertator v/s Compter - Main Khiladi Tu Anadi.
Windows 2000 : Bade Dilwala.
Server : Godfather.
Interview : Muquabla.
A System infected by Virus : Pyar To Hona Hi Tha.
Anti Virus Kit : Soldier.
System without RAM : Kora Kagaz.
A System which frequently requires Bootable Disk : Sharabi.
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 14, Apr 2006 2:15:18 PM IST
Desh-Pardesh
Wife:
In Des- A woman who gives you your underwear and towel when you go to take a shower.
In Pardes- A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath.
Son:
In Des: A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.
In Pardes: A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn.
Daughter:
In Des- A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes when her doli is about to leave.
In Pardes- A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before any doli time.
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 14, Apr 2006 2:12:21 PM IST
Why Are Men Happier Than Women?
Men Are Just Happier People!!
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be Prime Minister.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £5.00 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier...!!
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 14, Apr 2006 2:09:04 PM IST
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, thats them.
So the guy walks over and says,"Hello, what are u guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning World War3"
Guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 12, Apr 2006 5:40:54 PM IST
A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "Not This Woman." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.
So he told her, "If You could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."
The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said:
"I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone,I say YELLOW..... BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number.. ... Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, yokeeyy? Thank you."
The Manager fainted.....
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 12, Apr 2006 5:38:19 PM IST
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