|
|
|
General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | *** Funny -- hAsyaM --Jokes -- saradA saradA *** | |
| bhOjanamainadaa nachikiigaaru o.ke namDi imkokamaaru tiiriggaa palakaristaanu ippaTiki bai amDi
Posted by: Mrs. అనామిక At: 16, Mar 2007 9:42:08 PM IST
emiTamDi miiru kuuDa udayam kaakumDa raatri vELa bamDa paiki vastunnaru. jaablo shifTu maarinadaa.
Posted by: Mrs. అనామిక At: 16, Mar 2007 9:33:39 PM IST
halO nachikEta gaaru mii leTar adirimdamDi baabu. sviiya anubhavamaitE kaadukadaa..:)) tvaralO Eprel fasTu vastunnadi koddiga jaagrattagaa umDamDi
Posted by: Mrs. అనామిక At: 16, Mar 2007 9:22:40 PM IST
Good one , manoo bhai ..:)))
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 23, Feb 2007 8:28:19 PM IST
After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the
following results on America's ball-related recreational preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is
basketball.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf.
Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the
smaller your balls become.
Posted by: Mr. manoopuli At: 23, Feb 2007 7:45:59 PM IST
Hard work or bullshitting
****************************
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% and,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top
Posted by: pAnIpUrI At: 5, Jan 2007 11:38:41 PM IST
Laws of a software engineer!
--------------------
Law 1.Every Software Engineer continues his state of chatting or forwarding mails unless he is assigned work by external unbalanced manager.
Law 2. The rate of change in the software is directly proportional to the payment received from client and takes place at the quick rate as when deadline force is applied.
Law 3. For every Use Case Manifestation there is an equal but opposite Software Implementation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus :-) LAW 4. Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 19, Dec 2006 6:02:32 AM IST
Appraisal and Resignation....
--------------------------------
A Comparison study on Appraisal and Resignation
In Appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors,failures.
In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strength,achievements, success.
In Appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.
In resignation you can demand for more than 60-70% hike.
During Appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't
have leadership qualities.
During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team, you have to take the project
in shoulder and lead to success.
There is 90% chance for not getting incentives after appraisal.
There is 90% chance of getting on-site opportunity after resignation.
This is for one who resigned or going to resign
----------
Don't think that your new company appreciates your talent and welcomes you with red carpet,
they are badly in need of resource.
Don't think that you will not have politics, appraisal glitches in the new company.
Remember, again you are going to work with PLs, PMs, Program Mangers.
'DIFFERENT PLATE BUT SAME FOOD' and 'A COIN HAVE TWO FACES'
Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 19, Dec 2006 5:59:15 AM IST
Q) Whats the differen between 'COMPLETE' n 'FINISHED'
A) When you marry the right girl you are COMPLETE
when you marry the wrong one you are FINISHED
Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 19, Dec 2006 5:47:15 AM IST
01. Smart man + smart woman = Romance
02. Smart man + dumb woman = Pregnancy
03. Dumb man + smart woman = Affair
04. Dumb man + dumb woman = Marriage
05. Smart boss + smart employee = Profit
06. Smart boss + dumb employee = Production
07. Dumb boss + smart employee = Promotion
08. Dumb boss + dumb employee = Overtime
09. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for 2 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
10. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
11. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
12. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
13. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
14. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
15. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there is no use in two people remembering the same thing.
16. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
17. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
18. A woman has the last word in any argument.
Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 16, Dec 2006 4:19:31 AM IST
| |
|
|
|
| Advertisements |
|
|
|
|
| Advertisements |
|
