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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | ~~SHARE A JOKE~~ | |
| If Veerappan was not Veerappan.....
What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of kingfisher?
ans: Beerappan.
What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of bisleri?
ans: Neerappan.
What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of bambino vermicelli?
ans: Kheerappan.
How does veerappan's daughter begin a letter to him?
ans: Dearappan.
What does veerappan give as incentive to his employees?
ans: VSOPs... Veerappans Sandalwood Options. They can cut the sandalwood trees 5 yrs after joining his gang.
What is the name of Veerappan's IT company
ans: VIPRO (Veerappan IT Products).
Posted by: Ms. Mallika Reddy At: 17, Oct 2003 9:02:58 PM IST
Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed.
"What happened?" asked Surjit.
" Yaar, I lost Rs 800 in a bet yesterday." Said Baljit
"How come?"
Well, yesterday the one-day match
between India and England was being shown live on TV.
I bet Rs 500 that India ; would win, but I lost the bet."
"But thats only Rs 500, where did the rest go?"
said Surjit Singh.
"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too!"
Hmm…Start the day with a smile..it takes 26 muscles to Smile and 62 muscles to Frown.
Posted by: Ms. Mallika Reddy At: 17, Oct 2003 8:53:55 AM IST
Subject: How to catch Veerappan?
How to catch Veerappan - technical analysis
Innovation is the name of game.
1. Newton's Method:
Let,
Veerappan catch you. For every action there is equal and Opposite reaction. Implies you caught Veerappan.
2. Einstein's Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of Veerappan.
Due to higher Relative velocity,
Veerappan will also run faster and will get
tired soon. Now you can trap Him easily.
3. Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment, there is a positive probability
that Veerappan is in the Jungle. So set the sandal trap, sit down and wait.
4. Inverse Transformation Method:
We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it.
Perform an inverse transformation with respect to Veerappan.
Veerappan is in and we are out.
5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
We construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows
every thing to pass it except Veerappan.
Then sweep the entire forest with it.
6. Integration Differention Method:
Integrate the forest over the entire area. Veerappan is some where in the result. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t
Veerappan to trace out Veerappan.
7. The Banta Singh Method:
Don't even try. You'll get caught by Veerappan!
Posted by: Ms. Mallika Reddy At: 16, Oct 2003 8:36:36 PM IST
Two nuns were ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction from the Mother Superior was that they not get a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the nuns decided to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there came a knock at the door.
"Who is it?," called one of the nuns.
"The blind man," replied a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns looked at each other and shruged. Deciding that no harm could come from letting a blind man into the room, they opened the door.
"Nice butt, sister," said the man, "where do you want these blinds?"
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 11, Oct 2003 8:41:04 PM IST
http://server1.msn.co.in/sp03/messengerpromo/FlTransfer.swf
Posted by: Raj Sekhar At: 11, Oct 2003 12:02:54 PM IST
He! BLUE ICE your cartoons are very good.. :-)
Posted by: Mr. Bhoomesh Pitta At: 10, Oct 2003 11:04:22 AM IST
Heaven :
American salary , British House, Chiniese Food and Indian Wife.
Hell :
Indian Salary , Chiniese House , British Food and American Wife.
Posted by: Mr. Bhoomesh Pitta At: 8, Oct 2003 2:13:50 PM IST
A man went to a bank to apply for a loan"i need money to divorce my wife" he said.
"we wouldnt give money for a divorce",the banker said."we provide loans only for things like automobiles,businesses and home improvement".
"well," the man said,"this is a home improvement."
Posted by: GOTIGERS At: 8, Oct 2003 2:59:01 AM IST
Want a day off work?Think twice...
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days,leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 5, Oct 2003 6:58:23 AM IST
bagundi...
Posted by: Mr. manoopuli At: 4, Oct 2003 4:55:27 PM IST
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