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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Soft Humor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
| :) taarala ku taara sitaara...anta bagundi kaani "bidda" ne baago ledu...:(
Posted by: Mr. Rahul Siddharth At: 17, Feb 2005 2:39:27 AM IST
Bill Gates announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version
in telangana. Here are some Windows related terms
that are proposed to be used in the telangana version of "kitkeel rendvel"
(Windows2000):
Keywords:
Microsoft windows 2000=ginta anta metha kitkeel rendvel
~~~ Search = devulaadu
~~~ Save = bachainchu
~~~ Save as = gitla bachainchu
~~~ Save All = anni bachainch
~~~ Help=Nannu bachainchu
~~~ Find=ethku
~~~ Find Again=malla ethku
~~~ Move=sarkainch
~~~ Zoom=peddagachei
~~~ Zoom Out=shinnagachei
~~~ Open=tervu
~~~ Close=mooi
~~~ New=kothadi
~~~ Old=pathadi
~~~ Replace=maarcheyi
~~~ Insert= Nadimitla vettu
~~~ space=jaaga
~~~ Backspace=enka jaaga
~~~ Run=vurku
~~~ Print=acchu
~~~ Print Preview=choosi accheyi
~~~ Copy=gatlane
~~~ Cut=koi
~~~ Paste=atki
~~~ Paste Special=peshal atki
~~~ Delete=teesipadey
~~~ View=soodu
~~~ Tools=mutlu
~~~ Toolbar=mutla gottam
~~~ Exit=igavori
~~~ Compress=gunju
~~~ mouse=elka
~~~ Forward=idkelli aadki
~~~ Scrollbar=thippudu gottam
~~~ Errors=nee notla mannu vada
~~~ Double Click with the left mouse button= elka chevvu voka mali eddam dikku malla malla vothale
~~~ 'This program has performed an illegal operation *"Abort, Retry or
Ignore" ?" ==== ee karyam dongalekkaku vattindi,jaldi voorku lekunte malla kottu leka marshipo
~~~ ACCESS =dorkavattu
~~~ FOXPRO =nakkalekkal turumkhan
~~~ Lotus Notes=thamarpuv paisal
~~~ ACCESS DENIED =dorkavattaneeya
~~~ Home=intiki vo
~~~ end=konaaki
~~~ For all Errors=nee notla mannu vada
Posted by: Mr. Rahul Siddharth At: 17, Feb 2005 1:57:07 AM IST
Pregnancy Q & A
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.
Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during
labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air
current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my
wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and
act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Posted by: Mr. Rahul Siddharth At: 10, Nov 2004 2:49:14 AM IST
Only In America...
Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Posted by: Mr. Rahul Siddharth At: 10, Nov 2004 1:29:49 AM IST
“I am going to fire my driver. He had an accident but luckily I was saved!”
“It is his first mistake so, you shouldn’t fire him. Give him one more chance!”
******
Booddhoo: “Maftalal, why did you take your pregnant wife to Pizza Hut?”
Mafatlal: “Because they advertised 'free delivery'!”
******
Titanic is sinking fast. Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God. A passenger runs to the captain of the ship and asks.
Passenger: “How far is land, from here?”
Captain: “Two miles…”
Passenger: “Only two miles? Then why are these fools making noise. I have the experience of swimming even more.”
Captain: “.....!@#$% ...??”
Passenger: “Just tell me which side the land is two miles from here?”
Captain: “Downwards…”
******
Dentist: “What kind of filling would you like for the cavity in your tooth?
Patient: “Chocolate, please.”
Posted by: Mr. Rahul Siddharth At: 21, Sep 2004 2:36:36 AM IST
John stopped the car near the curb side and asked a standing policeman, "Can I park my car here?"
Policeman answered "No"
John asked "What about all these cars?"
replied policeman, "they have not asked"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old couple walking on their terrace. A bird flying dropped the bird dropping on the old woman's head.
Old woman said, "yuk!" and asked her husband to get some toilet paper.
Husband asked: "what for? The bird probably have gone half a mile by now"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted by: Mr. Rahul Siddharth At: 22, Jun 2004 2:12:34 AM IST
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