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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | Comedy Central | |
| Posted by: KS Kiran Kumar At: 29, May 2005 11:14:03 AM IST
sarE vachchEsaari kaluddaamu
Posted by: Mr. HAYAGREEVA MURTY Rachuri At: 30, May 2005 5:02:05 PM IST
A small story:
______________
“kausalya supraja rama!purva sandhya pravartate, uthishta! narasardula!
kartavyam daivam ahnikam "
Mohan got up and switched off his alarm clock .. 6:30am .. looked at his wife Archana sleeping next to him .. “She aint gonna get up until 8:00” he told himself and moved out for a work-out.
“Hey boss, when are you meeting your gal?” shouted the guy on the next treadmill.
“Oh No! Not again!” screamed Mohan, looked around, found some curious gazing eyes and reduced the pitch and the volume “Boss, this is meant to be a secret, I beg you .. please don’t make this public”. “Okay Okay .. sorry bout that!” came in the response, but Mohan is in no mood to pay attention to that .. hez already lost in the dreams of meeting the girl Malathi he found in a chat room a few days ago, the plan to meet up and suddenly realized he is supposed to meet her over a cup of coffee that day. “Damn!” he muttered and raced back home.
Being a thorough metro-sexual, he visited the most expense beauty saloon in town, got his things done and by the time the clock struck 11:00, he is at Coffee Day, well ahead of the planned meeting time, waiting eagerly.. thinking about the tough times his married life is going through, the differences with Archana, the Daily quarrels, the differences in opinions, unnecessary interference of others, “May God never give this sort of life to anyone” he prayed silently even as a sweet looking gal entered the café. Mohan is dumbfounded by her charm, he is just staring at her, unable to get his eyes away from her. The lady walked up to him, while he is hoping that it would be Malathi, and said “May I help you Sir?” … Mohan is shocked, not by what she said but by her voice, it is sweet but totally masculine. While he is about to utter something, the lady disappeared and he could see a neatly dressed young chap standing in front of him, ready to take the order.
“Ufffff! Was that a Dream?” he is disappointed and asked the boy to wait for sometime. Minutes passed but Malathi is not to be seen and our hero got back into the flash-back, minus the out-spreading concentric circles, with the chat conversations with Malathi still fresh in his mind. He recollected the sequence of events that drove his chat life all along.
***********
Mohan is a good chatter. With his good communication skills, even though he has limited tack to spontaneously attract females, he manages to drag the female chatters into some conversation. But his intentions are different – he is looking for a member from the fairer sex group to overcome, or at least temporarily forget the difficulties in his troubled married life. After a number of failed attempts to get the chatter gals meet him in person he decided to change the approach – Change his id to a feminine nick. After a flood of messages from the guys requesting for a chat session, Mohan finally found Malathi who showed some interest in chatting with him, mistaking him for a woman. After the initial pleasantries and casual chatting for a few days they got into some interesting conversation.
“So Ma’m, what are you now into?” asked Malathi
“I’m a Govt employee, working for an Insurance Company”
“Oh Kewl! Do you insure the brains of your chat friends too? :)) ”
“LOLZ LOLZ That’s a good one. What a joke! I’m still laughing” He didn’t want to lose the chance to butter her, “you have got a great sense of humor and some style too”
“Thanx. Andaaz mein hum kisi se kam nahin, magar taqleef yeh hai ke hamare urdu mein bilkul dum nahin”
“Wah wah wah. You are a great Poetess. This is the best Sher I have ever heard in life”, Mohan didn’t realize this could lead to shortage of butter in the market.
“Thanx. You are a chweet lady too – you are one of the best chatters I ever found on the Net” – Mutual Buttering does please the people involved!
“Thank you!” said Mohan aloud, unintentionally. Few heads at the cyber cafe turned around and started staring at him – Mohan never chats with gals from home – he then realized where he was and readjusted himself in the chair and continued the conversation.
“What do you do for a living Malathi?”
“I’m a fashion designer. A very good one”
“Kewl. So you gonna be a celebrity soon”
“Hopefully and I am also a student of Psychology”
“Psychology? Wow then you would be able to read my mind!”
“Of course I can. I can read your mind from the way you chat. I can even guess your appearance, complexion etc from your chat”
“Oh is it? Tell me something about myself”. Mohan is really curious.
“Well”, Malathi started off, “You are sincere at work, hardworking and sensitive. Right?”
“Yes I am. But that’s a general statement anyone can make”
“Wait! If I’m not wrong you are slightly fairer than being wheatish”
“Correct!”
“You should have a round face”
Mohan is shocked. He looked around to find whether any gal is watching him at the café and all the users were guys. Besides that he told Malathi he was a woman too. He was convinced Malathi did have some skill to guess his appearance.
“You are right Malathi”
“You must be having curly hair and must be driving a swanky mid-size car like Honda City or Chevy Optra”
“Correct! I drive a City. But I do doubt whether you are observing me” he checked the webcam and itz off.
“No I am not. You must be about 5’2’’ tall.
“You are wrong. I am 5’11’’
“You are a pure vegetarian”
“No I eat Non-veg too. You got two things wrong” said Mohan munching a piece of Chicken Manchuria he brought along.
“Oh Ok. No one is perfect you see, after all its just a behavioral psychological mapping pattern, based on which I made my guesses”
Mohan wanted to ask her what that term meant but he wasn’t ready for a lecture on Psychology for Rs.15 an Hour
“Good! Good!! You are something” Mohan sincerely appreciated her this time.
“Now that we know each other, why not we meet up sometime?” he asked.
“No. My parents don’t allow me to meet chat friends. They don’t even know that I chat on the Internet”
“Oh Come on. My parents don’t know about it too. But we have to live for ourselves, not for them .. right?” he started getting assertive.
“Right”
“Why not we meet without their knowledge? 11:00 AM this Saturday at Café Coffee Day?”
“Lemme give it a thought. I never met anyone before. I am scared”
“Come on. I wont eat you up. When I’m not scared, why do you need to be unnecessarily afraid of these silly things. I promise you I wont reveal your details to anyone. Trust me!”
“Alright. Lets meet this Saturday”
Mohan wanted to jump with joy but avoided it at the lat moment, thinking of the damages he would cause to the building if his head had hit the ceiling.
*************
“Ting tin tin tan tan tan tin tan tan tan” - A ringing mobile on the next table brought Mohan back to the present.
“She hasn’t turned up yet. Hope she aint playing me” he told himself and no sooner did he finish it, he found a guy quickly approaching him, shaking hands .. “Hi Mohan, I’m Raju”
“Hi, You look familiar, but do I know you?”
“Yeah, you know me very well. Would you mind if I’m seated here in front if you?”
“Well, actually, I’m waiting for ..”
“Malathi?”
“Hey, How do you know about that?”
“Cuz, I’m her!” giggled Raju.
“WHAAAAAAT?”
“Yep. I’m extremely sorry to fool you this way. It was me who has been talking to you all along as Malathi. I’m actually a guy and I was just fooling around. I never expected you to take me so seriously, but you did. I’m really sorry about it and hope you take this whole thing easy”.
“My Goodness!” said Mohan stunned and extremely flabbergasted, “But How did you guess my complexion, my hairstyle, my vehicle and all that?”
“I was sitting in the cube next to you when we first met and also the day we had that long conversation. On the very first day, I just peeped into your window and realized you were looking for a gal. Thought I could play around a lil and you fell into the trap. And of course, I deliberately told you wrong things about your height and food habits so that you wouldn’t doubt me!”
Mohan almost fainted!
Posted by: Malakpet Rowdy At: 30, May 2005 12:57:04 PM IST
:)) Katakam
Posted by: Malakpet Rowdy At: 30, May 2005 11:45:21 AM IST
Bhayankaramaina kuLLu jOku..........
Ques. 1 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
Scroll Down for answer
A TOMATO....... AND THE TRING TRING TRING WAS TO CONFUSE YOU......
Anyways... Here s one more....
Ques 2 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
Scroll Down for answer
The DOOR BELL and the RED was to CONFUSE you......
Anyways... Here s one more....
Ques 2 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
Scroll Down for answer
A CAKE .... and both were to confuse you....
Anyways... Here s one more....
Ques 2 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
Scroll Down for answer
A FIRE BRIGADE OBVIOUSLY...........
AND U THOT I WS TRYING TO CONFUSE YOU................
Posted by: Mr. Srikanth Katkam At: 28, May 2005 4:00:39 PM IST
alamalam kiraN. mIru juun~ lO kadaa vastaanannaaru. appuDE vachchiveLLaaraa?
Posted by: Mr. HAYAGREEVA MURTY Rachuri At: 28, May 2005 1:29:52 PM IST
kiraN ! AyuShmAn bhava
eMDalu maMDipOyAyi anEdi bhUtakAlaM
iMkA mamDutUnEvunnAyi koMDamIdi trinEtradhAri SrI mallikhArjunasvAmi vAri dayavalla
Posted by: Mr. VIRABHADRA SASTRI KALANADHABHATTA At: 28, May 2005 11:58:57 AM IST
Different stages a man face during his life
Posted by: Murali za az At: 25, May 2005 3:09:36 AM IST
---------------------------------------------
Then 60 years after marriage???
(Please reply in English, she can't read)
Posted by: Mr. VIRABHADRA SASTRI KALANADHABHATTA At: 28, May 2005 11:37:12 AM IST
hehehe...:)
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 28, May 2005 0:45:15 AM IST
Ladka´bola:
Dil ke jharoke me tujhko bithakar
Yadon ko teri main dulhan banakar
Rakhunga main dil ke pass
Mat ho meri jaan udas
Ladki boli:
Kachre ke dibbe main tujhko bithakar
Upar se plastic ka dhakkan lagakar
Rakhungi main naali ke paas
Aana mat tu mere pass
Posted by: Murali za az At: 28, May 2005 0:10:38 AM IST
Good one Murali :))
Posted by: Ever Green At: 26, May 2005 5:19:56 AM IST
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