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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | *** Funny -- hAsyaM --Jokes -- saradA saradA *** | |
| A judge charged 10800 fine to a man for rape case.
Man asked why 10800?
Judge replied 10000 for rape and 8% entertainment tax
Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 15, Dec 2006 6:01:37 AM IST
When u feel sad....
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness.
But don't make this a habit.....
Coz liars go to hell !!!!
Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 15, Dec 2006 6:00:41 AM IST
if any lady describe u as Great,Attractive,Nice,Dynamic,Understnading.... what does u mean?????????
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Ans: GANDU............
Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 15, Dec 2006 5:53:42 AM IST
ABCDEFGH - ?
Posted by: Bahud♥♥rapu Baatasaari At: 14, Dec 2006 9:49:26 PM IST
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is
also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm
sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a
dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from
there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks
up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to
him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.
"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks toward the kitchen. The cook
happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly
brings him a menu again.
"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll
take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing
around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man
comes in, he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming
and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, "Sue, rub this fork on your panties before I take it
to the blind man."
Sue complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in
and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the
fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says,
"Hey I didn't know that Sue worked here..."
Posted by: Bahud♥♥rapu Baatasaari At: 14, Dec 2006 9:48:48 PM IST
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ABCDEFG - A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
GFEDCBA - Girls Forget Everything Done & Catches new Boy Again
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Banta: Why did you buy wife a huge diamond ring for her birtday? I thought she wanted a car
Santa : she did,but where in the world I would find a fake car.
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 13, Dec 2006 4:20:21 AM IST
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Sardar proposed to a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1 year older to you'...........
Sardar said 'Oye no problem, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
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What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
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What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
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They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage it is self-defense
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 2, Dec 2006 0:49:22 AM IST
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Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
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Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 30, Nov 2006 1:31:22 AM IST
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Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
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HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!
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Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 30, Nov 2006 1:14:52 AM IST
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A class was asked to write an essay on laziness.
At the end of three pages, a child wrote, "This is laziness".
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A Indian guy named "Anantharaman Subbaraman"
arrived at the Kuwait airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name, he got fedup and went to them and asked why they havent called his name yet.
They said that they have been calling his as "Anotherman Superman"
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 3:11:04 AM IST
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