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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | *** Funny -- hAsyaM --Jokes -- saradA saradA *** | |
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Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.
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Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
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Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 2:59:47 AM IST
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A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant it's already raining.
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go.
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 2:35:58 AM IST
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"SHANTA, ur son is dead!" hearing this, the sad Sardar jumps from 50th floor.
At 35th he realise: i don't have son!
20th floor: i m not married!
And at 3rd floor: SHIT, i m BANTA !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Once a sardar throw butter out side the window.....
WHY ?????????????
B'coz he want to see a butterfly.....
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 1:47:50 AM IST
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Once Laloo was coming out of the Airport. As there was a Huge rush, the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE",
for which Laloo replied "85 Kgs" and moved on...
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Laloo's family planning policy : DON'T HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR
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At a bar in New York ,
the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND U sir?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 1:36:32 AM IST
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Teacher : U failure! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age Hitler had commited suicide
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Sardarjee : enters a shop and shouts, "Where's my free gift with this oil?"
Shopkeeper : "Iske Saath koi Gift nahin hai"
Sardarjee : Ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE "
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 1:23:08 AM IST
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A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
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History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, I am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 1:18:09 AM IST
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Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. Change it to Exclamatory sentence ...
Student : WOW !
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SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 1:03:51 AM IST
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Dear Friend,
When I ask u flower, U give me bouquet
When I ask u a stone U give me a statue
When I ask u a feather U give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
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When I call u;
1 ring means I'm thinking of u;
2 ring means I like u;
3 means I miss u;
4 means .........pick d phone idiot
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 0:53:41 AM IST
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Ur smile can be compared to a flower
Ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
Ur innocence to a child
But in stupidity
U have no comparison
U r the best
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True love is like a pillow
U can hug when u r in trouble
U can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
So when u need true love
Spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 0:48:00 AM IST
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Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds......
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a FOOL............
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LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... Continues with smoke.....and ends in Ashes...
But don't worry - we are chain smokers
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Posted by: Shankar Mani Varma At: 29, Nov 2006 0:47:02 AM IST
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