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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | How to answer the usual questions asked of Indians | |
| thats totally cool. having studied in britain i know some of these questions are in fact commonly asked of indians....specially: vegetarianism, you know english, beef, hindu! cars, and corruption.....i think are answers are awesome
Posted by: Ms. S S At: 5, Sep 2002 5:05:03 AM IST
Hello Mahesh garu?
Is it a joke?
give some indication if it is a joke.
lalith
Posted by: Mrs. lata v At: 5, Sep 2002 0:59:12 AM IST
Hello Manish garu,
I don't like these answers. May be I don't have any sense of humour.
Posted by: Ms. Prasanthi Uppalapati At: 5, Sep 2002 0:19:49 AM IST
To help the new wave of incoming students from
) India,
) here are the proper answers to awkward questions
) asked
) everyday:
)
) Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
) A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to
) practice
) archery
) skills by target practicing by aiming at their
) wife's
) red dot.
) In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had
) many
) wives.
) You see, once they mastered the art of archery and
) hit
) the target....
)
) Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the
) country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the
) snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use
) elephants for transportation?
) A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own
) elephant in our
) house. But later, we started participating in
) elephant-ride
) sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air.
) You see
) elephants have an "emissions" problem.....
)
) Q. Does India have cars?
) A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is
) trying to
) encourage ride-sharing schemes.
)
) Q. Does India have TV?
) A. No. We only have cable.
)
) Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
) A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.
)
) Q. How come you speak English so well?
) A. You see when the British were ruling India,they
) employed Indians as servants. It took too long for
) the
) Indians to learn English. So the British isolated an
) "English-language" gene and infused their servants'
) babies with it and since then all babies born are
) born
) speaking English.
)
) Q. Are you a Hindi?
) A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.
)
) Q. Do you speak Hindu?
) A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.
)
) Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
) A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that
) they would
) let me go to school.
)
) Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
) A. It is so hot there that all the water boils
) spontaneously.
) That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.
)
) Q. Are there any business companies in India?
) A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples
) of
) self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and
) grow
) our own food. That is why you see all these thin
) skinny Indians -- it is is a lot of hard work.
)
) Q. Indians cannot beef, huh?
) A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part
) of
) Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in
) order to decrease the population of the country, the
) government is trying to encourage everyone to eat
) human meat.
)
) Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate
) regularly?
) A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food
) and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job,
) because
) I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But
) the
) bosses there do the same thing. That is why things
) are
) so inefficient there.
)
) Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning
) coals. Why do they do that?
) A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our
) feet to make it hard so that we can walk.
)
) Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?
) A. I prefer it to coming naked.
Posted by: Mr. Manish Kumar N At: 4, Sep 2002 6:39:25 PM IST
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