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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | * *Veerappan(s)* * | |
| alaani emi ledandi..Raji gaaru5 Infoscions kidnapped by Veerappan and forced to work in VCS. Meanwhile the police is busy trying to find out the location of the erstwhile sandalwood smuggler turned CEO,VCS. The police commisioner gives an interview to the press...
[Some voices of the journalists .......V1,V2..... and police commisioner PC is answering ]
V1 : How can u allow a criminal to start a company and recruit it by kidnapping professionals?
PC : We don't ALLOW him to open a company or kidnap people. But then he is not the kind of man who asks u permission for
doing what he wants to do.
V2 : He is now the CEO of VCS. How can he do business hiding in the forest? Atleast for marketting reasons, he should come out of the forest and meet the customers. So some people think he is just doing the Bodyshopping part of the business.What is ur response?
PC : Well.I cannot speculate at this moment.But,off the record,i dont think he is such a cheap person.
V3 : With the kind of technology that u have at ur disposal,why is it not possible to nab that criminal?
PC : The thing that people forget is that he is not the old fashioned guy that he used to be.Now he also has the technology. And it is difficult to find informers who will give some useful information about the "Hiding industrialist".
V2 : Can u elaborate on that please ?
PC : It is like this.He has given free email facility and internet access to the people living nearby villages.Also he sends people who inform him about police movements to US for onsite assignments.So they wont help u. Also he is changing the IP address of his internet pc on a daily basis.The thing is now going High-tech.We need Engineers more than police officers to nab him.We are forming a committee consisting of S/W engineers from all the top companies.This is a slow process and takes time.
V1 : Are u planning to send the editor of Nakkeeran again to talk with him?
PC : Yes.I'll give u details once he meets Mr.Veerappan and returns with a floppy of his demands.
V2 : What is the condition of those 5 software professionals from Infosys who are now in his custody?
PC : I can assure u that they are safe and sending Weekly Activity Reports to their PLs in Infosys thru email.Soon we will recover them from Mr.Veerappan's custody so that they need not fill their WARs with unplanned activities.
V2 : Can u elaborate on the purpose of WARs?
PC : Well,I really dont know much on that.If u have no immediate plans of joining that company,it would do good to ur health if u stop worrying about it.
Posted by: Mr. Manish Kumar N At: 19, Sep 2002 8:46:21 PM IST
The forest brigand had succeeded in getting Rs.5 cr. from the Government and had released the forest personnel. He doesn't want to buy guns and bombs. He kidnaps a Marketting MBA from IIM-B and from him comes to know what is happening outside the forest.He doesn't want to be left behind in the 20th century while everybody else is moving towards the 21st century. So he releases the MBA guy and starts a software company,VCS. Veerappan Consultancy Services.
He smuggles PCs and opens up a Development centre right in the middle of the forest,where no sane software engineer would want to go. So his office remains empty. This irritates Veerappan.
So he swears, "Daey...Naan thirundhi vaazhalaamnu paaththaak kooda vida maattaendreengaleda.
Naan yaarungaradhai kaattaraenda" [ U people wont let me live a reformed life,right. Well.I'll show u guys who I am ]
He starts his recruitment drive........ On his way from Hosur to B'lore he finds the board Electronics city. Before long he is inside Infosys.The time is 12'o clock in the night.But,as usual some guys are surfing the net with full speed. There are 5 of those unfortunate Infoscions....[ 5 guys lazily sitting before their terminals,wondering what else could be done in the internet. ] Being a tough guy that he is,there is little trouble for him in collecting all of them and marching them out of the campus. [ All 5 of them trembling with fear,move out followed by Veerappan ] There .... Yes.He takes one of the Infosys buses without sending a mail to TRANSPORT. #
[ Inside the bus....]
Guy1 : (looks curiously inside the bus...) So,this is how the bus looks inside
Guy2 : (Irritated) You fool..ur chat session is over.come to this world. WE ARE BEING KIDNAPPED BY VEERAPPAN.
Guy1 : I know.But,i'm seeing the inside of this bus for the first time. I come by the 8.30 Jayanagar bus where u dont get a chance to see the inside. I feel Veerappan is a good guy.
Veerappan : KEEP QUIET or GET SOME BULLETS AND BE THROWN OUT ON THE HOSUR ROAD
Silence
Posted by: Mr. Manish Kumar N At: 19, Sep 2002 6:04:40 PM IST
Avatars of Veerappan
http://www.ourkarnataka.com/misc/veerappan.htm
Posted by: Mr. Manish Kumar N At: 19, Sep 2002 6:01:21 PM IST
Simply superb. Really very great ideas. elaa tadtaayandi ilaanti oohalu?
Posted by: Ms. Prasanthi Uppalapati At: 17, Sep 2002 11:48:28 PM IST
What elseA converstaion between Sandalwood Veerapan and Nakheeran Gopal after Veerapan kidnapped the famous Kannada actor Dr.Rajkumar, two days back..
Veerapan: Hello Gopala, I have kidnapped Dr. Rajkumar. What do you say? Are you happy?
Gopal: What Dr. Rajkumar, shit, I asked you to kidnap some icon of Tamilnadu like Rajini, Kamal
Veerapan: What to do da, it's more then a year since I appeared on television all over India. Someone told me that Rajini and Kamal are out of the country for some months. So I decided to Kidnap Rajkumar. Are you coming to meet me Gopal?
Gopal: Yes, I will leave here tonight to meet you as the emissary of both the Tamil Nadu and Karnataka Governments.
Veerapan: Come here as soon as possible. It's quit long since I say you. Are you bringing Your wife and kids with you.
Gopal: Why?
Verrapan: Last time when I talked to you, you said your kids have vacation now, so I thought They can spend the vacation in the forest.
Gopal: No No, I am coming alone with a cameraman.
Veerapan: Bring some nice cameraman, the man who came here last year is not good. My face did Not look clear on the television. Can you bring Cameraman Sriram?
Gopal: It's not possible. But I will try to bring a good one thistime. Do you want anything from Madras?
Veerapan: Can you get Woodland shoes for my gang? And some hair tonic for my mooch.
Gopal: Ok. But don't forget about the share you owe me. Why did you demand five crores. Ok We will settle down for one crore. I have to buy an appartment in Ashok Nagar.
Veerapan: Should I beat Dr. Rajkumar in front of the camera?
Gopal: Don't do that. He is a powerful man in Karnataka, and then his followers may start hunting for you and you might get caught.
Veerapan: Gopal, can you get me a laptop computer?
Gopal: Why?
Veerapan: I want to surf the net. It's quit boring in the forest. I am also planning to learn Java and will try to get certified.
Gopal: But why?
Veerapan: So that I can go to States and kidnap Bill Gates.
Gopal: In US they can trace you out in a day, it's not like India.
Verrapan: Cool buddy, I was just kidding.
Posted by: Jonnalagadda Jonnalagadda At: 17, Sep 2002 8:56:24 PM IST
very funny,chala bagundhandee
Posted by: Mrs. Aruna At: 17, Sep 2002 8:15:37 PM IST
Q.1) If veerappan becomes the chairman of kingfisher, he would become
A: Beerappan.
Q.2) If veerappan becomes the chairman of bisleri, he would become
A: Neerappan.
Q.3) If veerappan becomes the chairman of bambino vermicelli, he would become
A: Kheerappan.
Q.4) If veerappan becomes a parent of a girl, he would become
A: Seerappan.
Q.5) What is veerappan's sister's name?
A: Veerakka.
Q.6) What is the headman of Sathyamangalam hills village called?
A: Fearappan.
Q.7) How does veerappan's daughter begin a letter to him?
A: Dearappan.
Q.8) what does veerappan give as incentive to his employees?
A: VSOPs... Veerappans Sandalwood Options. u can cut the sandalwood tree 5 yrs after joining his gang.
Q.9) what does veerappan give as incentive to his managers?
A: VTOPs Veerappans Tusk options. u are given an elephant while joining the gang. u can cut the tusks when the elephant grows on
Q.10) What is the name of Veerappan's IT company ?
A: VIPRO (Veerappan Indian Terrorism PROducts).
Posted by: Mr. Manish Kumar N At: 17, Sep 2002 8:12:52 PM IST
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