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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | indo-pak war | |
| The cold war between US and USSR resulted in a system where if USA
launched a Nuke-loaded missile, USSR's satellite were capable of informing the
USSR army in 3 seconds, and in less than 45 seconds USSR would launch its
counter-missile.
US knew that and therefore never attempted to launch one. Recent studies
commissioned by US DOD included one on nuclear war between India and
Pakistan.
INDO-PAK War......
Pak army decides to launch a Nuke-missile towards India... They don't
need any permission from their government, and promptly launch the missile.
Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, the
Indian army detects it and decides to launch a missile in retaliation. But they
need permission from the Government of India. They submit their request to
the Indian President.
The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime Minister calls an emergency
Lok Sabha session after three days. When the LS meets, there are several walk-outs and
severe protests by the opposition, so it is adjourned indefintely.
However, the President asks for a quick decision.
The Pak missile, meanwhile, failed to take off due to unknown reasons.
Their attempts for a launch are still on.
Meanwhile, the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because an
outside party withdraws support. The President asks the PM to prove majority
next week.
The ruling party is unable to get a confidence vote, and a caretaker government
is installed. The acting PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch the
Nuclear Missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker Government
cannot take such a decision because elections are at the door and this decision
will affect the swing of votes in the election. A public interest litigation
(PIL) is filed in the supreme court of India, alleging misuse of power by the
Election commission.
Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says acting PM is authorized
to take this decision.
In between all this, one of the Pak missiles successfully takes off,
and falls 367 miles away from the target. The Missile falls on a government
building at 1100 AM.
But since no employees have reached work, there are no casualties.
The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China.
US condemns use of a nuclear missile by Pakistan, and offers to send its
seventh fleet to the Indian Ocean. The Indian government, wary of the move,
declines.
Finally, the Indian government decides to launch a nuclear missile, after
convening an all party meeting. It's been three months since the army
first sought permission. Pro-humanity, anti-nuclear activists come on board
against the government's decision.
Human chains are being made in New York, LA and Washington for peace.
Indians are sending protest email requesting that it be "forwarded to as many Indians as possible".
On the Pakistan side, missiles keep failing. At times they fail to take-off,
at other times the payload gets detached from the missile during flight.
Some missiles deviate from target due to high-speed winds blowing over Rajasthan,
and have to be neutralized by Pakistan, as these missiles are now moving backwards
towards Karachi.
Finally, a missile smuggled from USA is used. The Pakistan army is
unable to understand its software, so it hits its original destination Russia.
Russians successfully intercept the missile and in retaliation, launch a Nuclear
missile towards Islamabad.
The missile hit the target and creates havoc. Pakistan cries for help.
It asks for loans from IMF and the world bank.
India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of soap.
The War ends.
Posted by: Mr Rajesh kallam At: 28, Sep 2002 2:09:43 PM IST
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