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General Forum: Love | | "And its no sacrifice..." | |
| "And its no sacrifice..."
My grandfather has a huge book of Greco-Roman legend volumes. The book lies in his huge bookshelf, with a layer of dust as thick as the book itself above it. Last week, I finally decided to extract it from the recesses of the bookshelf; not because I particularly enjoy ploughing through improbable stories about people with funny names, but because my grandfather claims it is a fabulous book, with an insight into almost all aspects of life. And as I sat down to (try and) studyfor my Macroecon Finals; I fell prey to other, non-multiple-choice-question related thoughts (as I very often do). And this is how I came across the legend of Cybele and Attis.
Attis is a man possessed. He loves Cybele more than he loves himself (proof, for which, will follow). The good goddess Cybele, unfortunately, espouses virginity, and hence does not let any men near her. In a mad stupor and desperate to prove his love, Attis castrates himself as a 'sacrifice' to Cybele. Some scholars later thought that he did it as it was the only way to get near the goddess at all. So Attis perhaps made a sacrifice greater than that made by most men in love. Not ONLY did he give up the right to have sex with other women in order to love Cybele but he also gave up the right to have sex with Cybele in order to love Cybele. Bejeezus!
The story shows how we can go to extreme lengths just to be granted the right to love. Most people are so euphoric about (what they percieve to be) love - that they make amazing sacrifices. This troubles me no end. I wonder how many sacrifices I would be willing to make, how many would be demanded of me, and whether I would want to make any at all.
The more I think about it - the more I realize that there really is no need for sacrifice in order to love someone - experiencing pleasure does not have to be the by product of pain. In fact, compromise is a much better way of displaying one's love for another.
Now, I believe that physical desire a manifestation of love and not versa. It can drive people insane, if they let it control them instead of the other way round. We despise people who are drunk on vodka, and yet those drunk on love get the benefit of understanding, a smile and "oh so cute". But no...love is a slave, not a master. And like alcohol, everyone has their limits. For giving and receiving. These limits must be respected, not punished or rewarded.
Demanding a sacrifice as a sign of love is something that should remain in the Bible; between Abraham and Isaac and between Cybele and Attis - they can play their own games. But here and now? I wouldn’t actually love someone who puts me through pain; someone who asks me to give up another of my loves in order to love them. I think people who say they love you and ask for a sacrifice are simply insecure people who feel the need to be reminded yet again of 'everlasting faith', 'selflessness', and of 'true love' - each as fickle as the other.
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 29, Nov 2002 6:34:57 PM IST
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