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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | Today"s Joke......... | |
| A Sure Cure
A woman was at the doctor's for a checkup:
"By the way, Doctor, my boyfriend has dandruff. Is there anything
you might suggest?"
"Why don't you just give him Head & Shoulders?"
After a short pause, "How do you give shoulders?"
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 5, Dec 2002 1:50:44 PM IST
Good & bad news
An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"
Patient: "Well, give me the bad news first."
Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left."
Patient: "OH NO! That's awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???"
Doctor: "You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you."
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 5, Dec 2002 1:47:41 PM IST
Gallery Owner: I have some good news and some bad news.
Artist:
What's the good news?
Gallery Owner: The good news is that a man came in here today asking if the price of your paintings would go up after you die. When I told him they would he bought every one of your paintings.
Artist: That's great! What's the bad news?
Gallery Owner: The bad news is that man was your doctor!
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Wife: I have some good news and some bad news.
Husband: What's the good news?
Wife: The good news is I found a picture that's worth $500,000.
Husband: Wow! That's wonderful! What's the bad news?
Wife: The bad news is that the picture is of you and your secretary!
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Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.
Client: Well, give me the bad news first.
Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene
Client: Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good news?
Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!
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Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: The good news is they are naming a disease after you!
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 5, Dec 2002 1:45:50 PM IST
A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.
Posted by: Mrs. Aruna At: 5, Dec 2002 11:03:07 AM IST
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