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General Forum: Love | | LOve n marriage. some thoughts... | |
| Read from the last(first) message!
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 16, May 2003 8:42:52 AM IST
Is it love you're feeling
or just an infatuation?"
"Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one
day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and
eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered
questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as
soon not examine to closely. It might spoil the dream.
Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection.
It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster
your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles
do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your
head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know he is yours and
you can wait.
Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing
him." Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with
confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are
together you hope it will end in intimacy. Love is not based on sex. It is
the maturation of friendship that makes sex so much sweeter. You must be
friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he is
cheating. Sometimes you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your
trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never
steers you in the wrong direction.
Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you
think up. It makes you a better person than you were before."
Loving Everyday
One of the most important keys to having a mature, loving relationship
is to recognize the importance of practicing the art of loving every
day. If you are not prepared to do this daily work, you will never
experience mature love. Relationships either rise or fall-- they do not stand
still. If you are not putting in the effort, you are neglecting your
partner and contributing to the eventual demise of the relationship.
Practicing the art of loving, each day, insures that your relationship will
rise.
Loving relationships are built. They do not happen by chance. It's the
little things that you do (taking a few seconds or a few minutes each
day) that will make the difference in your relationship. It's taking the
time to share a moment with one another before you go to work, instead
of rushing out of the house. It's a phone call at some point during the
day to talk to one another. When you arrive home, it's sharing the
day's events with each other, instead of opening the mail or collapsing on
the couch with the remote control. It's preparing dinner together,
doing the dishes, sitting and having a cup of tea or coffee or maybe a
glass of wine. It's touching and being physically close while lying on the
couch, or holding one another while watching television or listening to
music. It's being able to give your full attention to your partner,
making eye contact and really listening when he or she is talking. It's
validating what your partner says and feels, by providing genuine empathy
and understanding. It's noticing and expressing appreciation for the
little things your partner does for you. It's letting your loved one know
how important he or she is to you, and how much you appreciate his or
her presence in your life. It's being spontaneous and expressing your
feelings to one another. It's consciously being aware of (and avoiding
doing) the little things that annoy your partner: such as leaving the
toilet seat up, squeezing the toothpaste the wrong way, leaving makeup all
over the bathroom counter, leaving dirty clothes all over the floor… I
think you know what I'm talking about.
Expressing your love does not have to be expensive. Spontaneously
giving one rose has the same thought behind it as giving a dozen. Little
surprises-- gifts, notes, and greeting cards-- make your partner feel
valued and loved by you. A new car, a new house, a Caribbean holiday,
expensive jewelry, a fur coat, an expensive night on the town… these are all
wonderful, but when it comes right down to it, it's the little things,
that we do daily, that are most important. The little things are what
build loving relationships and allow us to experience mature love.
You have got to take responsibility and make the time to give love to
one another every day. By making your partner a priority in your life,
and remembering to do the little things that make your loved one feel
cared for and appreciated, you will be on your way to realizing life's
most wonderful experience: that of rising in love with one another.
Coretta Scott King, widow of slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King,
Jr., recently said that if she had to pinpoint the most important
message she has learned in her life, "it would be that love is the most
powerful healing force on earth, and it is available to us all. If we can
learn how to love one another, there is nothing we can't do." So we can
rise above, and rise in love, when we practice the art of loving with
our partner on a daily basis.
Posted by: Mr. M.S.Reddy At: 14, Dec 2002 3:54:07 PM IST
Sri, bagundandi ee collection :)
(i read only a few of them, and they were good)
Posted by: Mrs. Sandhya At: 13, Dec 2002 12:14:22 PM IST
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