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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | This and That.. | |
| Q: What do sea monsters eat?
A: Fish and ships!
Q: How do electric eels taste?
A: Shocking!
Q: What is Father Christmas's wife called
A: Mary Christmas!
Q: What do you get if you cross a Spice Girl with a Takeaway?
A: Egg Fried Spice!
Q: Where do spiders play football?
A: Webley!
Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a fish?
A: Swimming Trunks!
Q: What do you give an injured lemon?
A: Lemonade!
Q: Why did the boy take a pencil to bed?
A: Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter ?
A: I can't tell you because you will spread it.
Q: WHAT DID THE LION SAY WHEN HE SAW THE KID ON HIS SKATE BOARD?
A: MEALS ON WHEELS
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea (no eyed deer)
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Q: Which side of a hen has the most feathers?
A: The outside!
Q: If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left?
A: None were left! All the rest were copy cats!
Q: Why did the cook hunt his eggs ?
A: Because he liked them poached!
Q: What is tall,sweet and french ?
A: The trifle tower!
Q: Where were lemons first found?
A: In a tree!
Q: Where was the Queen of England crowned?
A: On her head!
Q: What's black and white and green and black and white?
A: Two Zebras fighting over a tree branch
Q: What did one penny say to the other penny?
A: If we get together, we could make some cents.
Q: What did the snail say when he got a ride on a turtle?
A: WOOO HOOO,that’s real fast man!!
Q: Simon can you spell yourname backwards?
A: nomis!
Q: How do you stop fish from smelling?
A: Cut their noses off.
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Q: what time do you go to the dentist?
A: tooth-hurty!
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 22, Apr 2003 3:10:49 PM IST
Jokes…
Q: What's it called when you kill a pig?
A: Hamicide!
My horse is very polite. Whenever we come to a jump,
it always lets me go first!
Q: What's the name of the most dangerous city?
A: Electricity!
Q: What is the computer's favorite dance?
A: Disk-o.
Tom: How would you look if you were bald?
Pat: I would look with my eyes.
Q: What did the goose say when he got cold?
A: "I have people-bumps!"
Q: Why couldn't the flower ride the bike?
A: Because it had lost its petals.
Q: How did the frog die?
A: It croaked!
A boy's Mom asks him, "Honey why are you sleeping with a ruler?"
The boy replies, "I wanted to see how long I slept."
Q: What should you do with a blue monster?
A: Cheer him up!
Q: What time is it when the clock strikes thirteen?
A: Time to buy a new clock!
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bay gulls.
Q: Why do cows have bells?
A: Because their horns don't work.
Q: What did the spider do in the computer?
A: He made a webpage.
Q: What do squirrels do when they fall in love?
A: They go nuts!
Q: Why did a cow go to Hollywood?
A: He wanted to become a MOOOOOOOviestar
Q: What can you say to an annoying cockroach?
A: "Stop bugging me!"
Q: What color is a burp?
A: Burple.
Q: What kind of key can't open a door?
A: A donkey.
Q: Why must two elephants go for a swim in the pool?
A: Because they need a pair of trunks.
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer.
Kareena: "Last night I dreamt that I was eating a giant marshmallow."
Marcy: "Really?"
Kareena: "Yes, and when I woke up, my pillow was missing!"
Q: Why did James Bond throw the Klingon on the barbeque?
A: Because he was grilling him for information!
Q: Why did the soldier have a pie in his ear?
A: Because he was a member of the pie "n" ear corps.
Q: How do you prevent a Summer cold ?
A: Catch it in the Winter !
Q: What is the best day of the week to sleep ?
A: Snooze-day !
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist ?
A: To get his teeth crowned
Q: Were you long in the hospital ?
A: No, I was the same size that I am now !
Q: What button won't you find in a tailors shop ?
A: Belly button !
Q: What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear ?
A: Ferry tales
Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive ?
A: A minnie van !
Q: What goes ha, ha, ha, plop?
A: Someone laughing their head off!
Q: What has no beginning, no end, and nothing in the middle?
A: A doughnut!
Q: What always ends everything?
A: The letter 'G'!
Q: What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
A: Look round!
Q: To whom do people always take off their hats?
A: Hairdressers!
Q: Why do you always find things in the last place you look?
A: Because when you have found it you stop looking!
Q: Why do you always walk with the right foot first?
A: Because when you put one foot forward the other is always left behind!
Q: What always falls without getting hurt?
A: Rain!
Q: What word is always pronounced wrong?
A: Wrong!
Q: What is full of holes yet can still hold water?
A: A sponge!
Q: What happens after a dry spell?
A: It rains!
Q: Which is the fastest, cold or heat?
A: Heat; you can catch a cold!
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 22, Apr 2003 3:09:05 PM IST
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