|
|
|
General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | joke | |
| One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his office and shouted
"Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" sardarji was in panic.
Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window while comming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named preeto. when he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was
not married. when he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.
-------------------------------------------------------
Two sardarjis stayed in the same building. One on the first floor and the other one on the eight floor. Both were great enemies. One day the sardarji on the eighth floor thought to befool the one on the first floor. He invited him for dinner. When the sardarji reached the eighth floor, he found his door locked and aboard at his door "Kaisa bewkoof banaya". Sardarji felt embarrased and to outplay him, he wrote down: " Main to yaha aya hi nahi tha"
-------------------------------------------------------
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, "Singh Saab, aapka
koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?" .....comes the reply, "Haan Ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli bar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!"
-------------------------------------------------------
Santa asked, "Where did you get such a great bike?" Banta replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and told me to take what I wanted. I took the bike". Santa nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit."
-------------------------------------------------------
Scene: trench warfare on Kargil, Sikh regiment on one side, suddenly Kartar Singh gets a bright idea, shouts! "Oye Abdul!"
Guy pops up from other trench "Kya hai be" BANG shot dead! "Oye Karim" 2 guys stand up, "Kya hai saala" BANG BANG both khalaas "Oye Mustafa!" 2 more, BANG-BANG! dono saale
khalaas! Pakis get worried, they think saala
Sardarji log, when did they get so smart? Decide to try it themselves. "Abe Gurdev Singh" silence "Oye Gurdev Singh!!" silence "O bhai, Gurdev Singh!" "Oye Gurdev Singh ko kaun bula raha hai re?" Paki gets
up, "Mein" BANG!
Posted by: Mr. SAMBA SIVAM VEMULA At: 27, Nov 2001 1:34:44 PM IST
once santa singh was travelling in a train, a man came and slapped him by shouting,"oye santa singh teri aisi ki taisi".the man again slaps santa singh by shouting out the same words.This goes on for at lest 15 times, the sitting beside sardarji asks him as to why he(santa singh) was not slapping the man. Santa Singh replied,"MY NAME IS NOT
SANTA SINGH!!!!!!!!".
------------------
Interview of a Sardar
Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm.He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa singh Then goes through his certificates and then starts asking him questions.
Following is the transcript :
O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites
S : Yes Sir.
Officer started asking questions
O : Above
S : Below
O : Front
S : Back
O : Left
S : Right
O : Male
S : Female
O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our sardar also spells
it)
O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)
S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L .....
Y...... Our sardar also shouts)
#Officer is now angry.
O : Get out
S : Come in.
O : Quiet please.
S : Talk please.
O : You are rejected.
S : I am selected ........ ....... and This is how
Santa Singh got his job.
Posted by: Mr. SAMBA SIVAM VEMULA At: 27, Nov 2001 1:29:40 PM IST
guys jokes are good
Posted by: Mr lenin antony At: 21, Nov 2001 1:23:23 AM IST
good one guys and gals. keep it up.
SAM
Posted by: Mr. SAMBA SIVAM VEMULA At: 19, Nov 2001 8:36:00 PM IST
Nice one mr GopiKrishnaA ........another joke which i would like to share with all
Once a sardarji was travelling in a train and he was afraid "kahi station miss na hojaye"....so he gave rs50/- to a passanger who was sitting beside him and asked him to wake him at his station.
The passenger being a barber by profession thought " yeah aadmi kitna accha hai ..... he deserves more than waking him" and so he used his skill on sardarji while he was sleeping. AFter some time the barber woke up sardarji at his station and the sardarji thanked him and went to his home.
Next morning our sardarji saw himself in mirror ....he was looking new with out his beard....and he started shouting "cheater....he took money from me and kisi galat aadmi ko jagaya".....
Posted by: Ms deepa v At: 7, Nov 2001 8:46:00 PM IST
An Indian was sitting with a Pakistani and a Malaysian in Saudi Arabia, sharing a muggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden,Saudi police entered and arrested them. It was a national holiday, the Sheikh decided they
should be released after receiving 20 lashes of the whip.As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before whipping." So the Malaysian said : "Please be tieing a pillow to my back." This was done but the pillow only lasted 5 lashes before the whip went through.
The Pakistani guy, watching the scene, said: "Please fix two pillows on my back". But even two pillows could only take 10
lashes before the whip went through again.
Before the Indian could say something, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "As you are from a wounderful country you can have two wishes!". "Thank you,Most Royal and Merciful Highness", the Indian replies.
"My first wish is: " I would like to have 40 lashes." "If you so desire", the Sheik replies with a questioning look on
his face, "and your second wish?"
"Tie the Pakistani to my back", the Indian answers.
Posted by: Mr Anand Rao At: 7, Nov 2001 7:48:14 AM IST
One night a wife found that her husband was not sleeping on the bed and so she went to see where he is.
She found him sitting on a chair deeply thinking about some thing ...and tears were flowing from his eyes. SHe asked what are u doing sitting here at this hr...husband replied" do u remeber it is the same day 15 years back your father came to know about us and
at gun point asked me if i would marry you or go to jail for 15 yrs" ...she said yes....."i opted to marry you ....had it been the second option i would have been free by this day"..........enjoy
Posted by: Ms deepa v At: 6, Nov 2001 8:36:10 PM IST
| |
|
|
|
| Advertisements |
|
|
|
|
| Advertisements |
|
