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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | AIRWAYS jks | |
| LUFTHANSA-
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to
all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean" The passengers
were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat
comforted by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies and Gentlemen,
we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like
you torearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left
side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane"
After this announcement all the passengers rearranged their seating to
comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the captain made
a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers
on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly=
swim away from the plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of
plane... " THANK YOU FOR FLYING IN LUFTHANSA !!!"
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British Airways -
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to
London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the
Atlantic. "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that
the port wing has fallen off." "If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving=at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air
stewardesses. This is a recorded message."
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Air France
There once was a flight heading from London to New York. Halfway during the flight, the captain suddenly comes over the intercom system..."This is Captain Jean-Pierre Lalonde speaking. I have a bit of bad news for you. We have lost our first left engine, but never fear, we can still make it=
using only three engines. But because of the loss of power, we will be two hours late." Time goes on, and once again the PA system ackles to life..."This is again your Captain. We have lost an engine on our starboard wing.But rest assured that our plane can fly using only two engines. Due to the reduced power, we willnow be four hours late." The flight goes on, when the passengers hear the now familiar sound of the address system... "Guess what, folks! We lost another engine, but
nothing to fear. We can still make it using only one engine. But now we will be six hours late. "
On hearing this, an elderly lady turned to the person sitting next to=her,and said: "I hope we don't lose ANOTHER engine. I'll be late for my connecting flight from New York!"
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 24, May 2003 4:02:56 PM IST
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