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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | ~~SHARE A JOKE~~ | |
| Posted by: Mrs. Saila Sarigala At: 24, Feb 2004 10:12:28 PM IST
Posted by: Miss Ramya At: 25, Feb 2004 1:08:24 AM IST
Good Ones
Posted by: Mr. Satish Kumar At: 13, Apr 2004 10:38:32 PM IST
Here are few jokes for you all to enjoy...!! :)
)) Will Rogers, a great humorist of USA, said, “Every time they make a joke in congress it is law and every time they make a law it is a joke.”
)) Suresh: “I have changed my mind.”
Mrs Suresh: “Thank God! I hope it works better than the other one.”
)) Introduction of a speaker is always flattery. After the introduction one smart speaker said, “Flattery is like perfume. It is to be sniffed but not swallowed.”
J)) A child got lost in a crowd when he went to visit a mela in town. Policemen picked up the child and asked him, “What is your father like?” The boy replied, “Wine and women.”
)) Someone said L T stands for Language Trouble. One professor in medical college was poor in English language. He confessed one day by saying that, “I have to apologise for my English. My relationship to this language is the same as my relation with my wife. I love her but cannot control her.”
)) National crime statistics show that most crimes are committed by single men. Some one commented, “That is what happens when a guy doesn’t have anyone nagging him.”
Posted by: Mr. anand kumar At: 28, Feb 2004 8:41:50 AM IST
sarika:- tell abt ur family
karan:- Mom is in Europe,Dad in USA
they're divorced.
sarika:- Oh a'm sorry
karan :- y sorry, they're happy a'm happy
Posted by: Mr. manoopuli At: 26, Feb 2004 6:07:53 PM IST
raaju udyOgarityaa trivEnd^ram veLlaad^u. akkad^a andaroo malayaaLamlonE maat^alaad^utunnaaru. atad^iki oka mukka kood^a ardam kaavad^am lEdu.akkad^a jeevinchaalant^E malayaaLam nErchukOka tappadanukunnaad^u.oka pustakaala shaapki veLlad^u."muppayi rOjulalo malayaaLam pustakaalu rend^u immannaad^u.
"okat^i meeku,marokat^i mee mitrud^ikaa saar ani ad^igaad^u shaapuvaad^u.
"kaadu.... kaadu nEnE maLayaalam padihEnu rOjulalo nErchukundaamani rend^u teesukunt^unnaanu" ani cheppad^u raaju.
Posted by: Mrs. Saila Sarigala At: 24, Feb 2004 9:12:28 PM IST
A senior army officer and a friend were strolling.each time a recruit passed and saluted him the officer returns the salute saying "same to you".
The friend asked why he said so;
the officer said: well I was a recruit once when recruits salute their officers
they genarally say in their breath-- You bastard"
Posted by: ★Vinåyåkåm★ chitt♥♥r At: 22, Feb 2004 11:38:11 AM IST
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, 'How was the honeymoon?'
'Oh, mama,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic...'
Suddenly she burst out crying. 'But, mama, as soon as we returned he started using the most horrible language... things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please mama!'
Her mother said, 'Calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?'
Still sobbing, the bride said, 'Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!'
:D
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 22, Feb 2004 0:52:44 AM IST
This is Mumbai language.....
Sorry its tooooo long..but found interesting..so shared...
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 8, Feb 2004 10:27:03 PM IST
1. Binglish (for Bombay_English).
2. Bhindi (for Bombay_Hindi)
3. This list is perpetually incomplete since the evolution of this language can never possibly cease.
4. Bhindi/Binglish: Pronunciations are in brackets following the words.
5. Chikna - Stands for any good looking fellow. Chikna actually means smooth.
6. Keeda - An absolute pest.
7. Jhakaas - Superb. Excellent.
8. Haila ! - This originated from "Hai Allah !" but I don't think 99% of the users know about this. Haila would translate to "Oh God!"
9. ChappanTikkli/Punter/Tapori/Shana - Roadside loafer. Tapori is among the most commonly used words in Bhindi.
10. Bevada / Gutter / Taankee / Batli / JohnnyWalker - A Drunk.
11. Saand - A boisterous or an exceeding brash guy.
12. Chotay - For any kid working in a Tapri. If the shop has more than one kid all would have to be Chotays.
13. Cutting - A little_morethan_half cup of Tea is a cutting. The Cutting concept would have been started by people who used to split a cup of tea between 2 people... and finally the tea vendor started selling half cup of tea and called it "cutting". A little_more_than_half is given to increase the patrons.
14. Dhapnya / Battery / double battery - Refers to a person wearing prescription glasses. Dhapnya is a Marathi word. The Ghati way of saying this would be "bya-tree".
15. Hajaam - Hajaam in its true sense would mean a barber. It refers to anyone with a moronic intellect.
16. Rappak(stress on"pp") - means Slap.(eg.Kaan kay neechay rappak lagaoonga.)
17. Chinese Gaadi - No ! this is not a Chinese make of an automobile!! It's the "Tapri" selling Chinese food on the side of the road. You find one after every 10 meters. The best part is that all these Chinese Gaadis are red in color, have names like "Red Sun", "Red Dragon", "Fong's", or anything that sounds vaguely Chinese. The cook is normally a Nepali gurkha working as a night watchman in some nearby apartment complex. The only criteria to get a chef's job at a Chinese Gaadi is to have slanted eyes.
18. Mahim - Matunga / Vasai - Virar - This is a term used for squints. M-M and V-V are neighbouring localities in Bombay. The origin of this term is unknown.
19. Ghungroo Salmaan - This term is very new but catching on fast.Ghungroo refers to a curly haired guy. Salmaan (Khan) comes in the picture since the "Ghunroo Salmaan" fellow is obviously mistaking himself to be a Hindi film hero. It's used as a put-down.
20. AndhaDhuni/Aadva-Patta - These are a cricketing terms. AadvaPatta comes from Pune, means "Cross batted shot".AndhaDhuni means "Blind shot". But nowadays these refer to any guy who doesn't bat well.
21. Ghaati - Ghaatis are the residents of the hilly/rural regions of Maharashtra. In Bhindi, a Ghati would mean any person whose mother tongue is Marathi. It's quiet demeaning..... and thus heard more frequently.
22. Gujju / Ganda-Gujratis. The money men of Mumbai. These guys are easily spotted on the road - either in colorful shirts, embroidered trousers, against the mirror of a parked vehicle combing their hair, or something equally funny. These guys are the second largest community in Bombay after the Marathi-speaking people.
23. Madrasi - Madras is a place in the southern part of India. Madrasi refers to any guy from a place to the South of Maharashtra. Doesn't matter where he is from. If he is from Bangalore he is a Madrasi. If he is from Kerala he is still a Madrasi. Doesn't matter. And the best part of being a Madrasi is that you are supposed to eat idli sambar for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner. And rasam-chaval is supposed to be the favourite dish.
24. Pavwalla/Sausage - The Christians. This started because of the fact that they eat bread(pav) instead of chapatis. Sausage is a fairly new term and refers to a female (of the same faith). As Javed Jaffery would have immitated a Pav from Bandra: "What man ! One Fataak Rap only I'll give you under your ear man." "Hey ! What she is looking yaar. See see." / "Bloody I am scared or what ? Go No... call anyone. Go Man!"
25. Gulti - This is a fairly new term. Used for people from Andhra Pradesh. The clue about its origin or actual meaning is the inverse spelling of telegu.(gu_le_te = gulti)
26. Bhaiya/Pandit - Any guy from UP / Bihar / MP / Delhi / Northern states is called a Bhaiya.Pandit is also used interchangeably but is mostly used for the guys at the Lassi/Doodh shops or for Panwallas.
27. Paapay/Papajee - A Sikh. Dont know what a paapay means. I am sure its not insulting or anything.
28. Bawa / Pestonjee - The Parsees. The most harmless. Jovial and great company. Definitely the most teased people on the Hindi silver screen. Every movie has to have at least one funny character called "Rustom" or "Pestonjee" who has to have a fat and an overtly boisterious wife. Incidently Parsees also are the most affluent and among the richest in the Indian community. Bombay is also called "ParseeSthan" since this is the place where you find most of them.
29. Cheena/ Chapata / Nepali / Shaab-babu ( 'sh' as in 'huSH' )- Any slant-eyed guy is called Cheena or Nepali. Doesn't matter if he is from Kerala and some genetic disorder messed up his eye. He would still be a Nepali. The best part is many of the north eastern states and even West Bengal have people with slant eyes. However, if they happen to land in Bombay, they would be from Nepal. The Chinese/Japs/Koreans all fall in the same category. Shaab-babu comes from the fact that these Nepali gurkhas call every other person they see "Shaab-babu". I wouldn't be too surprised to find out that they call their parents that too.
30. Sai ( Saa-eeen - the second part is increasingly nasal ) - The Sindhis. The Partition-time migrants from Pakistan. If a Hindi movie doesn't have a Parsee... a Sindhi has to come at some point to lighten the spirits. These guys are known for all the Papads they consume.
31. Mia-bhai - The members of the Islamic faith.
32. Bong / Bonglababu / Babumoshai ( pronunciation should have maximum sounds of "O" as possible ) - for any Bangla.
33. Bambaiyya - Anything that relates to anything that even vaugely relates to Bombay. Bambaiyaa is something that every resident of Bombay would love to be called !
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 8, Feb 2004 10:25:19 PM IST
very nice and need some more feed back about our friends all over the world
Posted by: Mr. venu gopal gopal At: 8, Feb 2004 8:34:36 PM IST
A man went to the second wedding of his friend but refused to go when he was again invited to the man's third wedding.His wife enquired as to why he didn't want to go.The man replied I have already gone to his wedding twice.How can I go to his third,when I have not invited him for any more of mine?.
Posted by: ★Vinåyåkåm★ chitt♥♥r At: 8, Feb 2004 6:54:23 PM IST
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