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General Forum: Information Technology | The Technologically challenged (Jokes) | |
| Erin was having trouble with her computer, so she called Brian,
the computer guy, over to her desk.
Brian clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was
walking away, Erin called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."
A puzzled expression came over Erin's face. "An ID Ten T Error?
What's that? In case I need to fix it again."
Brian gave her a grin. "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error
before?"
"No," replied Erin.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
She wrote... I D 1 0 T
Posted by: Mr. Spider Man At: 17, Oct 2003 10:20:04 PM IST "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
(pause) "Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
(pause) "Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
(pause) "Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Posted by: Mr. Spider Man At: 17, Oct 2003 10:13:35 PM IST Customer: "I'd like to buy the Internet. Do you know how much it is?"
Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"
Customer: "I would like an Internet please."
Customer: "I just got your Internet in the mail today..."
Customer: "I just downloaded the Internet. How do I use it?"
Customer: "I don't have a computer at home. Is the Internet available in book form?"
Customer: "Will the Internet be open on Memorial Day tomorrow?"
Customer: "We're getting an Internet from you. Are you guys having any problems sending out your Internets?"
Customer: "The Internet is running too slow. Could you reboot it please?"
Customer: "We're going on holiday for three months, can you suspend the Internet for us please?"
Customer: "I have a problem with my Internet. Anyone know how to get the screens smaller?"
Customer: "What do you mean I have to pay for Internet access??"
Customer: "I lost my Internet. I switched it off last night and turned on this morning, and it's gone. I just paid $19.95 a month, and I have lost it already. Can you send me another one?"
Customer: "The Internet site's giving me a busy signal!"
Customer: "Every time I call you I get disconnected from the Internet!"
Posted by: Mr. Spider Man At: 17, Oct 2003 9:59:04 PM IST Customer: (angrily) "You said I would get 98 windows with this computer. Where are they?"
Posted by: Mr. Spider Man At: 17, Oct 2003 9:55:18 PM IST I overheard a nice conversation one day in a computer shop:
Customer: I'd like a mouse mat please.
Assistant: Certainly sir, we've got a large variety.
0 Customer while looking at said mats then asked: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
All I could do to keep a straight face was walk out of the shop.
Posted by: Mr. Spider Man At: 17, Oct 2003 9:49:06 PM IST I overheard a nice conversation one day in a computer shop:
Customer: I'd like a mouse mat please.
Assistant: Certainly sir, we've got a large variety.
0 Customer while looking at said mats then asked: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
All I could do to keep a straight face was walk out of the shop.
Posted by: Mr. Spider Man At: 17, Oct 2003 9:43:59 PM IST There is the classic one (which may be an urban myth) of the secretary working in an accounting firm who is told to make back up copies of the disks every night.
So every night she carefully collected together all the disks and took them away to copy them.
After six months the hard disk crashed but no-one was worried because they had backups, until the secretary brought in the huge pile of paper with a nice photocopied disk on each!
Posted by: Mr. Spider Man At: 17, Oct 2003 9:39:27 PM IST Yeah. People didn't like them. So, discontinued..
Posted by: Mr. Spider Man At: 17, Oct 2003 2:11:11 AM IST Tech Support:
"O.K. Bob, let's press control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a "P".
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "P" on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!!!"
Posted by: Mr. Spider Man At: 17, Oct 2003 1:19:21 AM IST A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running
it under "Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk
is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man
sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and
his printer is working fine."
Posted by: Mr. Spider Man At: 17, Oct 2003 1:18:14 AM IST
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