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General Forum: Life in USA | | Divorce and After Divorce | |
| priya!!!!!!
I am not wrong priya. same to ses I didn't told to cheat. did sai any where hide with her. I only said reveal only after contacting you. because only 3 profiles he got with in 3 years.
and priya i m not narrow minded to deffrenciate boy and girl. when it comes to life it makes definitly different. i explained in the way of problems to handel. not in the view of descriminate. see this much easy to misunderstood. can a girl of age 16+ can tell her problems easily to her dad as easyly as she can talk her mom (may be step). Have seen step mom movie. How difficult to win a heart a girl than a boy for step mom.
i didn't come up with any idea priya. I told him that show the world that he is eligible bachelor for marriage. once the proposal comes then disclose. he can't hide his past. there are lots of girls and parents who come forward to think of his cause, only when they come to know him. this the only way to improve his circle of opportunities.
people write hundreds of things on matrimonial sites.
that there is no cast bar.--first q what is u r cast or r u mehta/singh/guptha/shetty.
no religion bar.-- when things come they will ask for change of religion.
no matter place of work (only having good job).-- when a job holder from us comes, he preceeds to from a jb holder in india. no matter what is their attitude is.
good family back ground--- it is not his sin that coming from an uneducated family or village.
Like these so many things start with unidentified lies (open options). but ends with good. wheather his divorced or widowed doesn't matter. only thing matter is he single or not.
don't be soo narrowminded. "vaandaa abadhallu chepayyina oka peill cheyalli" ane sametha andi. "groom that she doesn't wear glasses and after the marriage the groom took it easy". see you disclosed this lie after marriage only right. and here the groom took it is is he might not have opinionated for not having girl who wears glases. after marriage if she wins his heart, this lie is nothing. otherwise it might have been yours biggest mistake.
for divorce it doesn't matter country. any where in the world peoples feelings are feelings. no matter weather it is us or india. people get seperated when there is difference in interests. it is not just freedom of life.
when some one divorced, if he/she say i am single. how is this ceating. how does it matters. ses in u r case u have daughter, so no chance.
other wise what is the difference between an divorced and single. he/she doesn't want to recollet the past. he/she whats to feel fresh. when you proposing, present what you are. that the girl/boy should like. saying single after diveorce is not sin. he is feeling fresh. thats good sign for him and spouse. because he fresh in thoughts.
what ever may be. as hima said. when you pass through then you feel how difficult the problem is.
what i mean to hide. until unless some one showing interest in you(as you),don't disclose. because a person character or attitude shouldn't change after marriage. if you are not then present your self as you are before marriage.
when some one acepts you as you are as individual. then your divorce life comes to matter to sort out hings. to shred out any negatives happened from you side.
Posted by: Mr. Nagesh Babu Adari At: 4, Mar 2004 9:58:57 PM IST
hi sesqui,
after reading whole thread. it is interesting to see lots of peoples views(+ve and -ve)
here is my view. getting married a widowed is not difficult. widowed with kids what really makes difficult.
As you describe your self.lets
as u all +ve's. but you have a daughter, thats where woman always makes back step. if son they don't care. because as long as she gives food at time and not complains at his small mistakes to his dad.
girl is not like that she have to be much close with mom after certain age. by bad luck if your daughter didn't get good impression about her. it makes her nervous in times even though how good you are. after certain age you can't handle certain problems of u r daughter . same to u r wife.
my view is explain to the person you are dating or thinking or proposed, how do u handel these matters.
first q they ask u is why you get devorced. only when they didn't find any mistake from u r side and especially bcoz of u r family. then the finishing touch is the above one.
And very important thing is don't say to (or enter matrimonial details) that you are divorced are having a baby girl. simply say never married. when they approach then slowly close. I am not encouraging you to not to disclose details and marry. ultimatly disclose before marriage. because always people don;t think for second option when there is better first option (never married/happy earning sigle mom's).
85% of educated first couple are more respective to each other, when things are not fine with kids.
like a proverb in telugu
vanda abaddaladina oka pelli cheyyali ani annaru.........
i would suggest one thing to you..........
first impression is the best impression.
don't rewind(may be harsh sorry for that) your story first time you met. talk as less as about you.
as you mentioned one thing that one of the proposals were dropped because of relocation. don't expect any woman will come and only cook for you(sorry it might harsh). because it is land of oppourtunity. when u r tend to ok for earning girl. you have to bear for separate work locations.
i asked one of my friends wife if she like to work, i can help her through some my friends in india(softi). she straight away denied. she said if she gets she is ready to do. she is ok for spending 50% of her salary for her baby day care. And she is ready to relocate to any place. in this country woman wouldn't feel social insecurity.
Posted by: Mr. Nagesh Babu Adari At: 4, Mar 2004 11:16:41 AM IST
hima sameera gaaru,
mee paeru entha andham gaa unnadho,mee bhaavaalu kooda anthe andham gaa unnayi.Just after looking at your previous post I felt your girl child and your husband are so lucky to have you for them like mother as ewll as wife.
vamsee
Posted by: Mr. Vamseedhar Kollukuduru At: 2, Mar 2004 8:51:02 PM IST
manam eduti vallanu santosha pettaka poyina parvaledu kaani manam santosham ga vundaali...
Posted by: Mr. Pavan Kumar At: 8, Feb 2004 9:15:25 PM IST
I am not surprised to hear from you that people who are working will be slow in taking decisoons about marriage.Thats true taking into consideration that they were hurted before so this time more careful in selecting partner and also they are independent so not marrying wont affect them as they are financially independent.But as other matters are also important like family ,kids ,satisfying desires etc to anybody,but as the primary problem food is solved (as they are working) they dont be hurried.Particularyly in usa as there is independence and people doesnot pass comments on divorcees ,they dont have problems like divorcees having in india.Also u know due to this internet,people get chance to contact many people and so they evaluate everybody before coming to final conclusion.As we know most of the ladies interested in chosing somebody higher then them in all ways,its common that they look for green card ,citizens permanent jobs ,handsome, etc etc.But they dont know that once again they fall into pitfall if they see alone these things.But the human nature is they wanted perfect human being.so they search search but some people dont realise that are wasting their time in the endless search of finding a right partner ,and its difficult to get married if they become old.so at later periods they settle for ordinary person.But thats human nature.so people behaves like that.I feel everybody has to spend more time on knowing the other person than giving importance to these things.some people will take right decisions in chosing partner some may not.if people has luck they may get a person who meets all her requirements.But situations will be rare.But what ever i feel that as u are nice simple egoless caring person.u will find lady easily.I feel that as indians are interested in usa people(still interested despite the usa economy),they show more interest than people in usa.god bless you in finding right partner.
Posted by: Mr. santhosh vemuri At: 23, Jan 2004 9:40:01 AM IST
Thanks at last you realised and the lukiest one already escaped.
Posted by: Mr. M Kumar N At: 21, Jan 2004 9:35:43 PM IST
Clint Eastwood never bothered but all the time he gave a good share for the divorced( may be five times). Yet he has a big share in the market. They can accomodate more and more. Check yourself; don't be sentimental.
Posted by: Mr. M Kumar N At: 21, Jan 2004 9:09:54 PM IST
divorce after divorce
Posted by: Mr. M Kumar N At: 21, Jan 2004 8:49:58 PM IST
Divorce afetr divorce
Posted by: Mr. M Kumar N At: 21, Jan 2004 7:25:22 PM IST
Were you brought up there in US? SESQUIDUPLI? I appreciate you for accepting that you are careless. Anyways, its not tough to learn the lovely Telugu. All the best.
Posted by: Durga Prasad At: 21, Jan 2004 6:57:53 PM IST
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