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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | Some Wonderful definitions | |
| Some Wonderful definitions:
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in
paper with fire at one end & a
fool on the other.
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
Lecture : An art of transferring information
from the notes of the Lecturer to
the notes of the students without
passing through "the minds of
either"
Conference : The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in
such a way that everybody believes he got the
biggest
piece.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which
masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water power...
Dictionary : A place where divorce comes
before marriage .
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens and everybody
disagrees later on.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do
not read.
Smile :- A curve that can set a lot of
things straight.
Office :- A place where you can relax after
your strenuous home life.
Yawn :- The only time some married men
ever get to open their mouth.
Etc. :- A sign to make others believe that
you know more than you actually do.
Committee :- Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
Experience :- The name men give to their
mistakes.
Atom Bomb :- An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher :- A fool who torments himself
during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat :- A person who tells you to go to
hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist :- A person who starts taking
bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Miser :- A person who lives poor so
that he can die rich.
Father :- A banker provided by nature.
Criminal :- A guy no different from the rest...
except that he got caught.
Boss :- Someone who is early when you are
late and late when you are early.
Politician :- One who shakes your hand
before elections and your
Confidence after.
Doctor :- A person who kills your ills by
pills, and kills you with his
bills.
Posted by: Ms. madhavi boppudi At: 1, Feb 2002 4:05:02 PM IST
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