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General Forum: Offbeat n Jokes | | .......joke..... | |
| Banta's son:dad ,there is some one on the door 2 collect donations for a swimming pool.
Banta: give him a glass of water.
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 28, Jan 2005 3:08:59 AM IST
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
That should have worked," said the friend. The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 18, Jan 2005 8:41:24 AM IST
This little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink. He's been sitting there for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying.
"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was left in the cab.
At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I came to this bar, and was thinking about putting an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison."
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 3, Dec 2004 8:50:31 AM IST
haha...Good Morning/one VJ.
Posted by: Mr. Rahul Siddharth At: 22, Nov 2004 7:09:24 PM IST
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God. She asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift,liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
(You'll love this!!!)
God replied,"I didn't recognize you."
Posted by: విజయ్ At: 22, Nov 2004 7:03:19 PM IST
(.........Copied from.................)
The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for
"Show & Tell," and the next day every kid had something.
The teacher asks Wendy: What did you bring?
"I brought a Walkman."
"And what is it for?"
"You can listen to music with it!"
"That's nice Wendy. What did you bring Kenny?"
"I brought a 'lectrical can opener, it opens cans!"
"Well done, Kenny.
Umm, Johnny, I see you didn't bring anything!"
"Yes, I did. It's in the hall."
So the entire class goes into the hallway.
"Umm, Johnny, what is that?"
"It's a heart/lung machine hospitals use to keep your heart going."
"Whoa. What did your father say about you bringing this?"
"He said, 'AAAARRRGGGH!!!'"
Posted by: Mr. Ramu komminedi At: 9, Nov 2004 6:23:34 PM IST
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